


The Storm That Never Was

by ZoeKar



Category: Life Is Strange (Video Game)
Genre: ALL THE ANGST, Angst, Depression, Drug Use, Drugs, F/F, Homophobic Language, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Maximum Victory - Freeform, No Storm in Arcadia Bay, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, PTSD, Post-Canon, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Probably some kissing, Recreational Drug Use, Sacrifice Chloe Ending, Slow Burn, So much angst, Some Swearing, also no chloe in arcadia bay, and even more angst, chapter 7 happened, chasefield, courtney is a bitch, definitely some kissing, dunno how to tag this, hopefully kind of soon, i mean this, ish, kate is still an angel, no time travel, probably some fluff too at some point, really slow burn, seriously, victoria not too much
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-11
Updated: 2018-05-22
Packaged: 2018-12-01 00:49:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 63,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11475123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZoeKar/pseuds/ZoeKar
Summary: After Chloe's death, Max has little to look forward to, nothing to be happy and excited about. She isn't the only one suffering, however, and, sometimes, having someone to suffer with is better than doing so alone.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I hope you like it when your favorite characters suffer and are miserable. I also hope you like it when there is no plot set in stone cause the author is incapable of making up her mind. Enjoy the ride! Let's hope it's worth it :)

_Bzzzzt bzzzt_

_'Ugh.’_

_Bzzzzt bzzzt_

_'What the hell?’_

It was the annoying buzzing of her phone that finally rose Max from her slumber. Being the first decent night’s sleep she’d had in two weeks, waking up so abruptly only served to make her feel worse than she already did.

_Bzzzzt bzzzt_

That was the third incoming text in as many minutes. Whoever was looking for her obviously did not like being ignored. Groaning and rubbing the sleep from her eyes, Max half-heartedly grabbed her phone from the nightstand. Her finger hovered over the screen for just a second, her breath hitching in the back of her throat at the sight of the photo she still used as her background image. She blinked away a few forming tears and forced herself to make a mental note to change the picture as soon as possible. As much as she hated to think that way, she knew that anything would be better than having to see her dead best friend’s smiling face every time she wanted to use her phone.

The young girl’s expression changed from sad to confused as she checked her notifications. Three new messages; she expected as much. What she didn’t expect at all, however, was for all of them to be from the same person, Victoria Chase.

She could faintly remember giving Victoria her number in the beginning of the school year, back when she had actually tried to be at least somewhat sociable and make friends. She could also remember the look of disgust Victoria had given her, and the fact that the blonde had never,  _ever_ used that number in the span of the entire year. Not even when Mrs. Grand had paired them together for a science project and they  _had_ to work with one another whether they liked it or not.

With all that in mind, Max had no idea what could have possibly possessed Victoria to make her text her not one, but three times in a row.

 _'Maybe someone hacked her phone,’_ was the first thing in the girl’s mind, quickly followed by _‘or it’s one of her stupid pranks…’_ The thought alone made Max cringe. Sure, Victoria was a grade A bitch who found joy in making other people’s lives, and especially Max’, miserable, but that would be low even for her. Sighing, the hipster hastily tapped on the first notification, as if doing so quickly would somehow make the whole thing easier and help her come out of it unscathed. 

 **(Victoria @07:12am): You better not miss any more classes, Caulfield. Don’t think I haven’t noticed you’ve been absent the past week.**  

 _‘What the fuck? Since when does Victoria care if I’m missing classes or not?’_ It was indeed true that Max hadn’t been attending any classes for the past five days, falling dangerously behind in all her school work, but she just couldn’t bring herself to do anything. She was doing better for about a week but, as she realized now, that was only because her brain was on autopilot; hazy, and running on spare adrenaline. She attended classes not because she wanted to, but because her mind told her to do so. That was until that Monday when she woke up in the morning and she finally... crashed. Suddenly, the weight of everything was all too real and Max broke under it. The only times she left her room those past few days were when she had to use the bathroom or when the grumbling of her stomach was too annoying to be ignored. 

 **(Victoria @07:13am): We’re still not friends,** Max rolled her eyes reading the next text, **but I just wanted to let you know I’m sorry about what happened.**

That’s right, Victoria had actually showed up to Chloe’s funeral two weeks ago. Be it because she felt guilty about what had happened, because she wanted to be somewhat there for Max, or simply because she figured that that would be the decent thing to do after your best friend kills your classmate’s best friend, it didn’t really matter. Her and Max never got to talk after that, not with Max moping in her room all the time and not bothering to do anything else other than zombie her way from class to class, never once making any effort to participate in any way, let alone chat people up. It occurred to her then that this was, in fact, the first time her and Victoria had communicated in any way. The taller girl, though still filled to the brim with attitude, had changed after that dreadful day, and Max couldn’t believe she was just now noticing this. She had caught her staring at her on several occasions during their shared classes, but she never seemed… mean in any way. If anything, her eyes were soft, questioning during the first couple of days of Max’ return to class, and giving off a vibe of understanding after that. She never once looked at Max with pity. Lord knew just how much the brunette despised those looks most people would give her, the ones saying “awww, poor little helpless Max”.

Shaking the thoughts away from her mind, Max scrolled down, reading Victoria’s next and also last message.

**(Victoria @07:14am): I have all your homework, fyi. You’re welcome to come pick it up in case you still care about that weeping GPA of yours.**

Max squinted in confusion as she began typing a reply. She wasn’t planning on it, but she also didn’t expect Victoria to have all her school work and plainly refusing to give it to her.

**_(Me @07:20am): Why not just bring it over?_ **

The reply came seconds later, almost as if Victoria had been waiting over her phone for Max to text her.

**(Victoria @07:21am): Don’t be stupid, Caulfield. I do still have a reputation to uphold.**

Max could only groan at the response. She was about to start typing again when another message arrived. _‘And here I am, afraid to double text in case I bother people,’_ Max shook her head.

**(Victoria @07:21am): I’m there now and everyone is sleeping in so you can drop by if you make it quick.**

_‘Why would everyone be sl- Oh right. It’s Sunday.’_ Not only had Victoria woken Max up quite early in the morning, she had done so on a Sunday. _‘Does this girl never relax?’_ Max sighed, weighing her options. She could ignore Victoria and just ask someone else for the homework, Kate for example or maybe even Warren, or she could take Victoria up on her offer and go across the hall. Having to talk to the other girl was more off-putting than not, but she couldn’t help but think that maybe, in some way, for whatever reason, Victoria was the only person she could actually talk to at that moment without having to worry about her being patronizing in any way. Of course, she would have to get up, get dressed and be at least somewhat presentable if she wanted to go over there and not have the taller girl slam the door on her face, which was also something she wasn’t particularly looking forward to. With a groan and a roll of her eyes, Max finally decided to throw on a tee and a pair of jeans and quickly go across the hall for her oh-so-precious homework.

She carelessly threw her old tee shirt on the bed, making a mental note to either wash it as soon as possible or discard it completely since it was becoming gross to even look at, put on her worn down Converse shoes, and made her way to the door. Her hand rested on the handle as she briefly glanced to the side, where her mirror hung. _‘God, I’m a mess…’_ she thought as she rubbed the dark circles that had formed underneath her eyes. She could almost hear Victoria’s voice in her head, telling her just how crappy and pathetic she looked. The girl sighed as she finally opened the door, not managing to make herself care enough to put any more effort in her appearance than she already had.

The dorm hallway was quiet, everyone probably still sleeping just like Victoria had said. Sundays always had this general feeling of relaxation to them as almost everyone would choose to either sleep in or chill in their dorm rooms. Max loved how every door remained open all throughout the day and how she would often see the girls, some in their pajamas, walking from room to room like the social butterflies most of them were, hanging out with one another. For her, Sundays were usually spent in Kate’s room, drinking tea and talking about everything and nothing at the same time, or, some admittedly fewer times, with Warren usually at the local Arcade, needlessly spending quite a bit of money in quarters only to play some ancient video games that were “old” even when they were supposed to be new. The only door that would always remain shut was, naturally, Victoria’s. Taylor and Courtney could usually be heard going in and out, and then there was, of course, that obnoxiously loud music that could be heard all the way from the girl’s room to probably the entrance of the dorm, never once stopping, not even during “quiet hours”. It was then that Max realized that she hadn’t heard any music coming from Victoria’s room in the past couple of weeks. In fact, she hadn’t heard a single sound coming from the other girl’s room, something that was more than odd. No music, no chatting, no ordering her posse around… Victoria had been, and still was, uncharacteristically quiet.

Checking her phone one last time, Max took a deep breath and lightly knocked on Victoria’s door. The muffled, faint “come in” would have gone unheard had she not been straining her ears to listen. She slowly turned the doorknob and pushed the door open, preparing herself for the greatness that she knew was Victoria’s room. Well- the greatness she _thought_ she knew was Victoria’s room. She was definitely not prepared for the darkness that engulfed her. _‘Looks like I was worried about being presentable for nothing…’_

“Shut the door, Lamefield,” came Victoria’s voice from somewhere in the room, Max hadn’t spotted her yet. The girl cringed slightly at the nickname but did as she was told, closing the door to the only source of light. Turning around, she used the few seconds it took for her eyes to adjust to the darkness to inspect the room as best as she could. It was immaculate as ever, and yet it felt stuffy and heavy, the air stale; as if the window hadn’t been opened in a while. Max half expected for someone to jump out from a dark corner and beat her up or something. She shuddered at the thought.  “If you’re done gawking, your homework’s on my desk.” Victoria was sitting on the couch just off to Max’ right, knees drawn up to her chest, her arms wrapped tightly around them.

“Uh… Thanks, Victoria,” mumbled Max as she almost blindly made her way across the room where she knew Victoria’s desk was. She wasn’t ever going to let Victoria know she had snuck in her room and gone through all her stuff, but she still mentally patted herself on the back for doing so as that meant she kind of already knew her way around. “Ouch, shit,” she muttered when banged her leg on the short coffee table that was in the way.

“You know, I would appreciate it if my room is still intact after Hurricane Max makes her way through it,” Victoria’s remark, though less than kind, lacked its usual bite. The hipster straightened herself up and stared at her classmate for a moment, the nickname she had just used hitting a little too close to home. Deciding not to pay it much mind, Max continued walking carefully towards the desk, picking up a neatly placed pile of notes and notebooks once she got there. A pile that seemed like an entire year’s worth of school work instead five days.

 _‘She actually has all the homework, not only for our shared classes,’_  she thought feeling a little bit impressed and confused as she turned to face the sitting girl. “So uh…” she squinted faintly in an attempt to see her classmate more clearly in the darkness. “Thanks for collecting my homework. I… I owe you one.” She mentally cursed herself as having been caught so off guard by the sight of Victoria’s room had served to suddenly increase her usual awkwardness by a tenfold.

“Yeah, whatever,” came a quiet mumble.

 _‘Okay. Okay, this is getting way weird…’_ “Victoria… Are you okay?” The words tumbled out of Max’ mouth before she even had time to think. The taller girl’s head snapped in her direction, causing her gulp nervously, _‘shit, was that the wrong thing to say?’_ The brunette hastily weighed her options. She could just leave and ignore Victoria and her problems. That was not her, however. No matter how much she would like to pretend not to care about the other girl, she knew, deep down, that she couldn’t help it.

“Keep moving, Caulfield,” came Victoria’s reply, making it clear that she was definitely not in the mood to talk, especially not to someone like Max, her proverbial arch enemy.

“You’re the one who invited me over,” Max insisted, against her better judgment.

“To collect your homework, not to have a heart to heart,” Victoria snarled. “Look, _Maxine_ ,” Max cringed, “I’m not in the mood. If you want to have a tea party, you’re in the wrong place. I suggest going next door, I’m sure that church freak won’t deny you.”

Max froze on the spot just as the words left Victoria’s mouth. “Her name is Kate, Victoria,” she all but spat. “I thought you’d be better than calling her names by now.” The taller girl didn’t show any signs of acknowledging anything that was being said. “I thought you had changed… After everything that’s happened, after… after showing up to-” Max stopped herself. She swallowed the lump that had begun forming in the back of her throat and tried to ignore the twisting of her stomach. She still couldn’t bring herself to say it out loud. As if by talking about it, she would make it more real. Sighing thickly, the shorter girl simply left the room without saying anything else to Victoria who didn't bother to get up from her sofa or even spare her a glance. “What the fuck ever, Victoria,” she mumbled as she walked back in her own room, slammed the door, and dropped the notes on her bed, caring little about the neat papers getting wrinkled.

* * *

 

_"...expand a little and talk about the early American photography. So, who can tell me who is the artist known for being the one closest tied to the early years of the American photographic practice?"_

Max came to an abrupt stop right outside the door to the photography class. It had been two weeks since she had set foot in the room, and she could already feel the all-too-familiar burning sensation in the pit of her stomach. The sight of the door alone was enough to make her want to throw up.

Principal Wells had spent about a week trying to find a decent replacement for Mr. Jefferson, who had been escorted out of the school premises in a way eerily similar to Nathan’s, just hours after the latter one’s arrest. Nathan was going down, but he made damn sure he was not going down alone.

Being unable to find anyone who could compete with Jefferson’s reputation and connections, Wells had recruited Miss Hault; a pretty-looking woman, with an annoyingly nasal voice and a few pathetic connections to some New York galleries that no one knew anything about. Max had only seen her in passing once or twice in the hallways as she had yet to attend her class. She seemed pleasant enough, always smiling and talking animatedly with the students. Max could _not_ stand those levels of optimism.

Still standing in front of the door, she could hear Miss Hault asking a question that she didn’t know the answer to. “Fuck,” she murmured as she ran her fingers through her disheveled hair, and inhaled deeply before opening the door. The fact that everything seemed to halt and all heads turned to look at her did nothing to help her uneasiness. She actively avoided looking at anyone, especially at Victoria who had turned towards her, her arm raised in the air.

“Well, if it isn’t Max Caulfield herself,” remarked the professor, the small smile tugging at the corners of her mouth making the girl relax if only just a little bit. She quickly apologized for both her delay and the interruption and quietly made her way to the back where her desk was located, feeling everyone’s eyes burning holes on her back.

“Okay, over here, everyone,” said Mis Hault a moment later, drawing the attention away from Max. “Back to the question.” Victoria’s bracelets jingled as she abruptly moved her arm a little higher. “Someone other that Miss Chase,” came Miss  Hault's voice again, but it did little to motivate the rest of the class to participate. "Anyone?" Silence. "Alright then, go ahead Victoria," she gave in with a small sigh as Victoria sat up on her chair.

“Mathew B. Brady,” the girl's voice had its usual obnoxious tone to it and Max had to try hard not to roll her eyes at how hard Victoria was, once again, trying to impress their teacher. It was so obvious she actually felt a little sorry for the blonde girl. “He was a skilled daguerreotypist, and he learned the technical aspects of the process from the American pioneers of the medium, Samuel Morse, and John Draper. He-”  
  
“That's right, thank you very much, Victoria,” Miss Hault interrupted, causing her to frown in dislike.  
  
“But I wasn't finished, Miss Hault. I-” she gave up when she saw the look the professor was giving her, one that informed her that yes, she was, indeed, finished. If she felt embarrassed or maybe even a little mad, she did one hell of a job hiding it as she turned to her "friends" and smiled boastingly at them. Her smile turned to a smirk as her head turned to look at Max who was making it a point not to make any sort of eye contact with her. She frowned slightly, not used to being ignored by the shorter girl but quickly brushed it off and turned her attention back to the lecture.  
  
Max found it once again hard to care about the rest of the class which flew by in a blur of questions and answers, most of which were given by none other than Victoria. Her mind kept wandering... To Kate who was sitting in her usual spot, her nose buried in a notebook, to David who seemed unaffected by the events, but Max knew better now, to Joyce who had yet to clear Chloe’s room almost as if waiting for her daughter to return home after a long night of partying like she would so often do, to Chloe… Fucking Chloe who would never smile again, who would never get the chance to dream again.  Max felt her eyes burn and her chest tighten. _‘Shit.’_ She fought to keep herself calm and from crying, but she could stop a small whimper from escaping her lips. This was all too much, she wasn’t ready. Not ready to go back to class and definitely not ready to leave it all behind and act like nothing had happened; like the week she spent with Chloe never even existed.

The persistent vibration of her phone was what finally drew the young hipster back to reality, making her hastily wipe her eyes and, discreetly as possible, reach down for the device that was in the front pocket of her jeans.

 **(Victoria @11:36am): At least you had the decency to show up.**  
  
Max could practically hear Victoria’s voice as she read the incoming text. She quickly turned her head, catching the blonde looking at her with a small, knowing smirk on her lips that immediately turned into a frown as her green eyes landed on her face. Max threw her a questioning look but received no answer as Taylor leaned in and whispered something in the other girl’s ear, making her turn away from Max, but not before quickly typing something up on her phone and throwing one last glance over her shoulder.

Before she even had the time to decide against texting back, both because she didn’t particularly like using her phone during class, and also because she was really not in the mood to talk to anyone, let alone Victoria, another vibration notified her of a new incoming text. From Victoria. _‘What’s her deal?’_ was the last thought in her mind before deleting the notification and zoning out again for the rest of the lecture, not bothering to check what it was the blonde wanted.

Soon, yet not soon enough, the bell rang, signaling the end of yet another missed class from Max, despite her physical presence in the classroom. Her body may had been there, but she never managed to bring her mind along for the ride.

She was once again on autopilot as she got up, threw her notebook and pencil case back in her bag and stood up, throwing one last, hasty glance to where Victoria had just been a few moments ago. She managed to catch a glimpse of the taller girl’s bag as it disappeared through the door. Victoria was apparently in as much of a hurry to leave as Max who made a beeline for the exit with her head bowed down in an attempt to make herself as small as possible.

* * *

 

It was lunch time, which usually meant spending half the hour in line for food so disgusting most of it ended up in the trash, and the other half trying to ignore the headache-inducing clatter of the rest of the students, all occupying the usual tables one would find in a typical teenage high school movie.

With her head down, Max passed by the cafeteria quickly, really not in the mood to put herself through the ordeal the unwanted and, sadly, unavoidable social interactions would be. All she wanted to do was go back to her dorm, cocoon herself in bed and stay there for the rest of her life which, hopefully, wouldn't be all that long. She had almost made it out safely when she felt a hand wrapping around her arm, the grip so firm, it would most likely cause a bruise later. Max turned around abruptly, ready to tell the person off but stopped on her tracks when she saw Victoria standing there, head held high, as usual, only she was without her posse this time. It was a rare sight indeed, seeing the queen bee without her loyal followers.

Max involuntarily rolled her eyes slightly, a reaction she had adopted early on in her interactions with Blackwell’s Regina George, but showed no other indication of annoyance. If anything, Victoria and her weird behavior was a welcome distraction from the hellish black hole that was Max’ reality. So she did what she normally would and forced her mind to pay attention to the girl standing in front of her. Had she not done that, Max would have missed the dark circles under the taller girl's eyes and the way her hair was ever-so-slightly disheveled She wouldn’t have seen just how tired Victoria looked and how sad her eyes were.

There were very few things Max was truly proud of and being mostly unable to see much outside her own depressive state was not one of them. Neither was being unable to read people, and Victoria was not making this any easier for her. The young hipster couldn’t understand how someone could be so cold one moment and so warm the next. She was this close to believing that all her time traveling had seriously messed up the time and space continuity and the Victoria standing before her now was some sort of hybrid of all the different Victorias she had encountered over her time travels and the changes in her behavior was one of said Victorias trying to take control over the others.

Pushing the thoughts to the back of her head, Max stood there; the two girls simply stared at each other for a moment, neither of them appeared willing to say anything. Seeing Victoria standing in front of her, looking like she’d seen better days, it was now clear to Max that she wasn't the only one who was going through a rough time. Victoria had lost someone close to her as well, and, no matter how much she absolutely hated Nathan and wasn’t about to feel sorry for him in any way, Max knew what losing your best friend felt like. She hated to admit it, but she could, to some extent, sympathize with what her ‘arch nemesis’ was going through.

She squinted at her classmate, waiting for the taller girl to talk first. _‘She was the one who stopped me anyways, she should be the one to talk,’_ she thought, pulling her arm slightly, but not forcefully enough to release it from Victoria’s grip. A second later, she felt the blonde’s hand loosen its grasp and she saw her chest deflate as she exhaled a breath she had obviously been holding. Her mouth opened, yet no sound came out as she completely let go of Max’ arm and she scratched the back of her neck awkwardly, her eyes glancing around nervously.

“I’m-” she begun but was interrupted by the hipster’s voice.

“Oh, shit, sorry,” Max apologized hastily. “Go on,” she prompted.

“Uh…” Victoria seemed to be at a loss for words, apparently thrown off track when Max interrupted her, something that made the hipster feel even more awkward than she already was. It was so weird seeing the ‘Queen of Blackwell’ not knowing what to say.

“I’m sorry,” came a barely audible mumble from Victoria that made Max squint at her for the second time in as many minutes. “I said, I’m sorry,” repeated the girl in a somewhat annoyed tone as if to show that she expected some kind of pat on the back for her words.

“For what?” Max asked before she could stop herself.

“Look-” another sigh, accompanied with a roll of the eyes and a few more awkward glances around. “I know I haven’t exactly been… _nice_ to you and… and I’m sorry. You witnessed something that I’m not even going to pretend I know what it’s like, and no one should go through that. And… you lost someone very dear to you and _that_ , that I do know what it’s like. So… I guess what I’m trying to say is that, provided it stays between you and me, my door will always be open if you ever want someone to talk to.” Victoria licked her lips nervously as she finished, her words having left Max staring at her, mouth slightly hung open both in dumbfoundedness and confusion.

“Wow, uh… thanks, Victoria. I’ll be sure to keep this in mind,” Max smiled faintly, surprisingly feeling a little better than she did a few minutes ago. Thanks to Victoria too, as unbelievable as that sounded. The taller girl nodded swiftly and turned around, hastily making her way to the opposite direction from where Max was headed, her small, somewhat proud smile not going unnoticed by the brunette, whose chest felt just a little lighter as she continued walking back to her room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I have been sitting on this for a while now and I'm still not too sure where I want it to go. I hope you stick around so we can all figure it out together.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit more Max and Victoria interactions in this one, also a bit more of both of them being messed up. Mostly Victoria for now, though. I hope you guys like it!

“Have you spoken to Victoria lately?”

“If by spoken you mean actually hang out with her, no. I haven't done that since- well. You know since when…”

Max held her breath as the bathroom door opened abruptly and two figures made their way inside. The girl immediately recognized the voices of Taylor and Courtney, Victoria’s two most loyal followers, and she could hear them as they walked to the sinks and placed all their stuff on them, a couple of things clattering as they fell on the ground.

“Is she… Like, is she okay?” Max pulled the shower curtain slightly, just enough for her to see the two girls rearranging their makeup all around them, their backs thankfully turned away from her. “I tried talking to her the other day but she slammed her door to my face. Literally.”

Taylor sighed, “I don’t know, Court, I really don’t.” Max frowned at the dejected tone in the girl’s voice. “She _says_ she’s okay. But, to be honest, actions speak louder than words, right? And she doesn’t _act_ okay, no matter what she says.”

“Maybe we should invite her out?” Courtney shrugged as she put down one of her brushes. “Go shopping or something, I don’t know.”

Max could see Taylor nod slowly before leaning closer to her friend as if worried that someone other than Courtney would hear her. “I got some stuff from Nathan before… before it all went to shit, maybe we can just chill here. Visit our spot too. We haven’t been there in forever.”

“We could try that, I guess. We have nothing to lose other than our heads anyways,” Courtney let out a chuckle, one that Taylor vainly tried to copy.

“Seriously though, we should do something. Victoria is our friend and she’s really not taking what happened well.”

“I told her she should come to the party tonight, but I don’t even know if she heard me,” came Courtney’s obnoxious voice again. “Now that Nathan’s not here, she can’t _not_ be there as well, it’s unacceptable!” she continued, and Max fought to hold back a groan. How could that girl be so insensitive?

“We’ll tell her to come, but not because it’s unacceptable if she doesn’t, Court, what the fuck? Don’t be like that.” Max never thought the day would come when she would agree with something Victoria or her followers would say, and yet there she was now, nodding her head in agreement at Taylor’s words.

There was silence for a moment and a couple of minutes later Max heard two pairs of footsteps walking away, the door closing behind them. She let out a shaky breath as she wrapped her towel around her body and stepped out of her hiding spot. She didn’t bother to dry her body or hair as she hastily got dressed and gathered all her stuff, making a beeline back to her room, leaving a trail of water drops in her wake.

She heard the same familiar voices coming from Victoria’s room when she went to open her own door and she immediately knew it was Taylor and Courtney again, probably trying to convince her to join them for the Vortex Club party. _‘Looks like those two finally made it back inside the witch’s lair,’_ thought Max with a slight grin as she entered her room and shut the door behind her. Leaving her shower supplies on her nightstand and throwing her towel on the floor, she checked the time on her phone. It wasn’t even nine o’clock yet, but Max was beyond ready to call it a niht. It was only then that she remembered the unread text she had received from Victoria that morning, the one she had decided to ignore all those hours ago. She hastily typed in her password and tapped on the message icon as she practically dragged her feet to her stereo. Her eyes never left the screen of her phone as she pressed the play button, making the speakers come to life. She could feel tears forming in her eyes as the familiar song filled the room and she slumped on her bed, her eyes going over Victoria’s text one last time before placing her phone on the nightstand and buying her head on her pillow, muffling her oncoming sobs.

**(Victoria @11:38am): Are you okay?** It simply said and no, Max was most definitely _not_ okay.

* * *

She had no idea how much time had passed, but Max was certain it couldn’t have been that long when she was once again rudely awakened from her surprisingly calm sleep. Only this time it wasn’t because of an incoming text; this time it was the banging of the dorm’s entrance door, and the heavy footsteps and stumbling of someone climbing up the stairs that did the trick. Probably someone who got just a little bit too wasted in that Vortex Club party, no doubt. Max had found it weird, to say the least, that the Vortex Club would be throwing a party so soon after everything that had gone down but had paid it no real heed.

Groaning and turning on her side, she tried to go back to sleep, knowing that she needed as much rest as she could possibly get. She had almost made it, her eyelids feeling heavy, when another banging sound was heard once again, this time much closer and followed by a loud gut-wrenching scream. Scared half to death, Max shot up in bed, her heart thumping so hard, it felt like it would burst out of her chest, and scrambled up. She quickly threw her door open, not knowing what she would find.

Time seemed to slow down as Max took in the sight in front of her. There, just outside the door right across from hers, fallen on her knees, _sobbing_ was one Victoria Chase. Her head bowed down, buried in her hands, and her entire body shaking as her breathing grew more and more ragged.

“Holy shit,” Max muttered as she hastily yet cautiously approached her classmate, her arm slightly outstretched and on its way to rest on the blonde’s shoulder. “Victoria,” she called out but got no response. “Victoria, look at me,” she tried again, shaking the girl slightly. “What happened?” Still no reply. “Please… Fuck, you’re scaring me.” She was unable to stop her voice from breaking as she spoke again, but she still got no reaction from the bawling queen bee.

A door was heard shutting gently and Max knew right away it was Kate’s. She had seen the girl peering out of her room, her eyes wide and terrified. She couldn’t blame her for not wanting to get involved. No other doors seemed to open, or shut for that matter, and Max assumed that Dana, Juliet, Taylor and Courtney were still at the Vortex Club party. She didn’t know where Alyssa, Brooke and Stella were, but she didn’t expect them to show up and help out any time soon, especially given the nature of their relationship with Victoria. Max briefly wondered why Taylor and Courtney hadn’t run after their leader but focused back to the task at hand when she felt her body under her hand shake even harder. All she could hear was Victoria’s labored, forceful breathing and the deafening sound of her own heartbeat pulsing in her ears; and the fact that Victoria wasn’t responding to her at all only served to make her feel more uneasy and increasingly worried.

In a final attempt to shake the taller girl from her trance, Max tried to pull her hands away from her face and make her look at her. It was then that she noticed the blood on the girl’s knuckles and the traces of it underneath her nose. “Shit,” she muttered under her breath. “Shit, shit, shit, fuck, oh my god, oh my _god_!” Max could feel her panic rising as she grabbed Victoria’s chin and turned her head towards her, forcing the taller girl to look at her straight in the eyes.

Victoria’s gaze couldn’t land on anything, her eyes were unfocused and the pupils so dilated, it was almost impossible to see the green around them. Max new right away the reason why and that caused her panic to escalate by a tenfold. “Okay,” she sighed, running her hand through her messy hair. “I need you to stand, Victoria, okay?” she spoke softly, gently pulling the girl by the arms. Victoria once again showed no signs that she had heard her classmate or even seen her for that matter; she was still lost in her own mind. Suddenly, a soft, almost inaudible mumble reached Max’ ears that caused her to stop her ministrations and try to listen. “Huh?” she asked quietly and waited patiently for the other girl to respond.

“I lost my fucking keys,” came Victoria's voice, muffled and slurred but a little more clear than last time.

“It's okay, you can come to my room for the night,” Max said. “And tomorrow we'll go to principal Wells and tell him you need a new set,” she added, hoping that that would take Victoria's mind off things and make her cooperate a little.

Slowly, Max started pulling Victoria to her feet again, this time finding it a little easier to do so as the taller girl made an effort to stand. Her steps were heavy and wobbly as she leaned on Max and let herself be led in the hipster’s room. Max placed the still disoriented girl on her bed before moving to turn the lights on, something that elicited a whimper from Victoria who squinted her eyes as her head lulled to the side. Max muttered a quick apology and turned the lights back off, turning on her desk lamp instead. She saw Victoria’s body going slack and she hastily grabbed a bottle of water from her desk, hoping that Victoria was too out of it to complain about the fact that it had already been opened or outright refuse to even touch it.

“Hey,” she whispered as she sat on the bed beside her and placed her arm around her classmate’s shoulders, preventing her from falling to the side. “Here, drink this,” she said as she unscrewed the cap and held the bottle to the girl’s lips. For a moment, Victoria didn’t move or open her mouth, causing the water to spill down her chin and on her, undoubtedly expensive, clothes. She blinked a second later, as if something in her had woken up suddenly, and she greedily gulped down as much of the cool liquid as she could before going into a coughing fit that caused her to spill more water on her and, this time, on Max as well.

“Sorry,” she mumbled, seemingly a little more alert and coherent than before.

“It’s okay,” came the immediate reply from Max who had taken the bottle away from Victoria’s lips and was now busy rubbing soothing circles on the girl’s back. She took a deep, calming breath as she felt Victoria trying to do the same, her body falling against Max’ as her eyes slowly drifted shut.

Max didn’t know how much time had passed. She was only relieved that Victoria’s breathing had finally returned to normal and that her body had stopped shaking. As gently as she possibly could, she moved the girl’s body away from her shoulder and laid her down on the bed. Trying not to wake her up, she grabbed a tissue from the box on her night stand, dampened it slightly, and softly dabbed it underneath the girl’s nose where the blood had begun to crust. Victoria showed no signs of waking up, something that both calmed Max down a little, and made worry pool in her stomach. Her eyes scanned the sleeping form in front of her, resting on the bloody knuckles of her right hand. She briefly wondered whether Victoria had gotten into a fight that had resulted to a student somewhere out there nursing a black eye or a bloody nose of their own. Max had never considered the queen bee to be one of the people who would lose their cool like that and get herself in fights that were physical and didn’t involve her simply insulting her “opponent” to submission. Given the latest turn of events, however, and everything she had found out during the week that supposedly never happened, she didn’t know what to believe anymore.

Deciding to wait and talk with Victoria once she woke up, Max made her way to the opposite end of her room, where her couch was located, and plopped herself down, her eyes trained on the sleeping girl. _‘What have I gotten myself into…’_ was the last thought that made it through her mind before she felt herself drifting off to a hopefully dreamless sleep.

* * *

“She’s _still_ not back?”

“I’ve been knocking for the past five minutes, if she was here, she would have heard me.”

“Fuck, Court, what do we do? I knew we shouldn’t have let her come back by herself, you saw how out of it she was.”

“You think something happened?”  


“Shit, I really hope not. Maybe we should ask around if anyone’s seen her?”

Max’ eyes fluttered open as the voices from the hallway came into focus. It was Taylor and Courtney again, but it took the hipster a couple of seconds to realize why they sounded so distressed. It was the same reason why she was currently laying on her couch instead of her bed. She quickly turned her head to the still sleeping girl only to find her in the exact same position she had left her last night. She felt a pang of worry for a second, but let herself relax when she saw the slow rise and fall of her chest. Slowly and trying not to make too much noise, Max stood up and made her way to the door, not bothering to even comb her hair.

“Hey, guys,” she greeted the two girls quietly as she stepped outside and shut the door behind her.

“Hey, Max,” greeted Taylor while Courtney didn’t even bother to acknowledge the girl.

“What’s going on?” she asked in an attempt to create an opening for her to bring up the fact that the person they were looking for was currently sleeping on her bed.

“We don’t know where Vic is,” replied Taylor, ignoring Courtney’s scoff.

“Why are we even talking to her, Tay?” she asked throwing Max a disgusted look. “What we _should_ be doing is looking for Victoria, _not_ associating with hipster trash.”

“Uh…  Yeah, about that,” Max began, scratching the back of her neck and ignoring Courtney’s comment. “I may know where she is.” Her words caused Taylor to perk up, her eyes shining hopefully. The brunette nodded behind her, towards her room and the three quietly made their way inside.

“What the fuck is she doing in your room, Caulfield?” Courtney’s obnoxious voice rang around the room as her eyes fell on the sleeping form on the bed. Shushing her, Max pushed the two girls back outside so that they wouldn’t wake her.

“I heard her come in last night,” she explained. “She was so out of it, I couldn’t just leave her there.” She raised her shoulders.

“Why in _your_ room?” Courtney insisted.

“She said she lost her keys,” Max stated, her dislike for Courtney increasing every time the other girl opened her mouth.

“Oh fuck, that’s right,” muttered Taylor. “She left her purse at the party. I have it in my room, I was gonna give it to her today,” she continued. “Hold on.” She quickly retreated back in her dorm room and came out a couple of seconds later holding a small clutch in her hands. “Here,” she said, handing it over.

Max nodded, “Thanks. I’ll let her know you had it when she wakes up. Hey, what time is it anyway?”

“Nine-fifteen. We have free period now so… Just let her sleep, okay? She really needs it…”

“Will do,” Max nodded once again causing Taylor to do the same.

“Thanks, Max.” said the girl and Max knew she really meant it. “You’re… you’re a good person,” she chuckled softly as she pulled Courtney by the arm before the latter had a chance to voice her apparent disagreement. “Come on, Court. We can hang out in my room until it’s time for class. Bye, Caulfield,” she waved over her shoulder before entering her room and shutting the door.

Max leaned against her door letting out a heavy breath and shut her eyes. The day hadn’t even begun yet, and things were already hectic. She didn’t even want to think what Victoria’s reaction would be when she woke up, but, apparently, she wouldn’t have to wait long to find out. She jolted upwards as a loud thump came from her room, followed by a soft groan and an all too familiar ‘what the fuck?’. Sighing, Max made her way back inside, not fully prepared to face the queen bee.

She was also not prepared to see said queen bee sprawled on the floor, looking around like a lost puppy. “Did you fall off the bed?” she asked with a soft chuckle, drawing the girl’s attention to her.

“What the fuck am I doing here? What happened?” asked Victoria, her voice sleepy and hoarse but still filled with attitude.

“We had sex,” Max stated matter-of-factly as she approached the fallen girl, offering her hand to help her up. “It was okay, though I am a bit disappointed you don’t remember.”

“What?!” Victoria all but screamed, losing the little color she had on her face.

“Relax, I’m only trying to lighten the mood,” Max let out a short, quiet laugh as Victoria pushed her hand away with as much force as she could muster.

“Fuck you, Shitfield,” she spat and moved to sit on the bed, ignoring Max’ arm that was being offered to her again.  

“I uh… I heard you last night. You seemed… Well, pretty distressed. I thought I’d use my good deed of the day and help you out,” Max explained as she grabbed a bottle of pills from her desk and offered one to Victoria. “I have them for my cramps so they’re pretty strong, not that anything lighter would help you… You must have one hell of a headache…” She moved to take a seat back on the couch.

“You have no idea,” Victoria replied despite herself. She swallowed the pill dry, not bothering to even thank Max for it, and she slowly rubbed the sides of her head.

The two girls sat in silence for a few minutes, neither of them knowing what to say or even willing to talk at all. Max’ head was swimming with questions about what had happened, but she knew better than to spring them all on her classmate who was obviously in a less than talkative mood. The brunette’s eyes scanned the other girl one more time before finally resting on her still bloody knuckles.

“What are you staring at, Caulfield?” came Victoria’s confused voice after a while, her eyes following the hipster’s. “Shit,” she muttered inspecting her hand and hissed slightly in pain as she poked it softly. “What the fuck…” she mumbled running her thumb over her raw skin.

“You uh… You had that when I found you in the hall last night…” Max said in a quiet voice. “Your nose was bleeding quite a bit too, but I figured that was because of the drugs... Your pupils were huge...” she continued. “It was so scary…”

“I don’t…” Victoria looked up at her with a confused and worried expression painted on her face. “I don’t remember taking anything last night… Shit, fuck, how can I be so stupid?” Max looked at her scrunching her eyebrows. “I think Taylor mentioned something about Nathan hooking her up with some new stuff that we hadn’t tried before. I told her I didn’t want any, I _know_ I did. That bitch must have dosed me when I wasn’t paying attention.”

Max felt her heartbeat picking up at the mention of people dosing other people up in secret, Kate’s face immediately popping up in her mind.  “I didn’t peg you for someone who would get in a fist fight,” she quipped, trying not to let everything get to her. Another break down was the last thing either of them needed right now.

“I didn’t get in a fist fight,” Victoria replied, but the certainty in her voice wasn’t as evident as she would like it to be. “I don’t _think_ I got in a fist fight… Fuck this is messed up…”

Max didn’t know what to say to that. It really was messed up, but she didn’t think Victoria would appreciate the commentary in any way. Just as the silence was becoming too heavy and awkward for both of them, the blonde let out a sigh and stood up.

“I should go,” she stated as she looked around muttering something about her purse.

“Oh, here,” Max grabbed the clutch from the couch and offered it to Victoria. “You left it at the party last night, that’s why I brought you here instead of your room, you didn’t have your keys,” she said, only now realizing that she never explained why Victoria was there and not in her own room. “Taylor had it, she gave it to me earlier. You should uh… You should probably let her and Courtney know you’re okay, by the way. They were looking for you and they seemed pretty worried until I told them you were here.”

Victoria groaned and rolled her eyes, “those two know I spent the night here?” Max simply nodded. “Great. Now I have this to deal with as well,” she grumbled. “Anyways… Thanks, Max,” she turned to look at the shorter girl. “I really do appreciate what you did for me, I uh… I owe you one.”

“It wasn’t a big deal, Victoria, honest. Don’t uh… Don’t- don’t worry about it,” Max felt like slapping herself for sounding so awkward.

“Yeah, well. Thanks again,” Victoria said over her shoulder as she placed her hand on the doorknob. “À bientôt, I guess,” she added with a faint smile and shut the door behind her. Max smiled back and did her best to ignore the heat that had just rushed to her cheeks for some bizarre and unknown to her reason.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just an fyi for you, unfortunately, I don't have a set uploading schedule, I'll try to upload each chapter as soon as I'm done writing the next one ass I want to try and be one step ahead with what I upload and what I write. Thank you for reading so far, and I'll see you guys in the next chapter!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've had this written for a while now (at least ten days or something), but holy crap chapter 4 was a bitch to write and, like I've said, I want to have the next chapter ready before publishing the current one. That should teach me not to go into a new story blind. Anyways, enjoy!

****A couple of weeks went by and things had, slowly yet surely, begun going back to normal again. Max would find waking up just a little bit easier each morning, and she was surprised to find out that the constant, excruciating pain in her chest that had been present every day for the past couple of months had started to be reduced to a still constant but dull ache. One that served as a grim reminder of the events that had taken place. Max couldn’t forget; she didn’t want to. If she didn’t remember Chloe the way she really was, then who would?

During those weeks, Max’ steps towards acceptance and recovery were small, slow, and sometimes wobbly and uncertain. One step forward would often result in three steps back, much to her utter frustration, and it took more effort than she thought she was capable of putting in just to get through a bad day.

It was at times like this that she would find herself riding the bus all the way to Chloe’s house only to sit across the street from it, looking, waiting for something to happen. She wasn’t sure what, but that wasn’t enough to stop her. Sometimes, she thought she could see light coming out of Chloe’s window or a shadow moving around and, for just a single second, she would let herself believe that it was her best friend. That she was there, smoking and dancing on her bed like she always liked to do.

Today had been one of those “bad” days. Max had woken up late, her thoughts had kept her up most of the night, she had skipped all her afternoon classes, finding it impossible to function enough to even get out of her room after lunchtime was over, and she was now, once again, standing right in front of the familiar house. Only this time she wasn’t across the street from it, watching it from afar. It had taken the hipster all the effort in the world to walk up to the doorstep and ring the bell, the urge to flee almost overwhelmingly strong.

Almost two months, and only now had she been able to gather enough courage to properly visit Joyce and David. She had spoken to the woman at the funeral and had visited her at the diner a couple of times, but she hadn’t managed to bring herself to visit her home yet. At least not the inside of it. As for David, she would see him at school every day, but the only thing she did whenever she was near him was lower her head and pick up her pace in order to avoid him. And yet here she was now, her finger pressed against the doorbell, her chest tight and her heart beating a mile a minute.

She didn’t have time to figure out if showing up like that was a good idea, and she couldn’t tell if the expression on Joyce’ face when their eyes met was one of happiness, of surprise, or of relief. All she knew was that she was now wrapped in the woman’s arms in a tight, bone crushing hug, one that she tried and failed miserably to return. Her arms wrapped weakly around Joyce as the woman held her close for a while longer, almost as if by hugging Max, she was also holding a piece of her lost daughter. It was only when Joyce pulled back and wiped her eyes that Max had a chance to properly look at her. She looked terrible. There was no better way of putting it. Clad in all black, her hair in a messy bun that looked like it hadn’t been brushed out in days if not weeks, she looked older, tired, and visibly skinnier. Max briefly wondered if that’s how she also looked before she was ushered inside, the waves of nostalgia already making her feel sick in her stomach.

She awkwardly sat down on the kitchen table as Joyce turned on the coffee maker. The young girl was never a huge fan of coffee, but she wasn’t about to say so; she knew better. A steaming cup was placed in front of her shortly after, giving her pause. It was _her_ cup. Her cup from all those years ago, the one Chloe had decorated for her with childish pictures of pirates and anime characters with blue hair and the one she had forgotten even existed up until now. Joyce must have noticed the change in the girl’s demeanor as she smiled sadly at her and took a seat right across from her own.

“I’m so glad you’re here,” was the first thing out of Joyce’ mouth and it did an amazing job at calming Max’ wild heart if only just a little. The few times she had met the woman, she had been assured that she would always have a place in the Price household as she was like a second daughter to Joyce, but that had done little to stop Max from being drowned in her guilt over what had happened. She knew nobody blamed her, and she was thankful for that, yet she couldn’t find the will to stop her own mind from blaming herself.

“I’m so sorry I came in without calling,” the girl mumbled awkwardly but was immediately shushed by the woman in front of her.

“Nonsense,” she stated. “You know you’re always welcome here, you always will be.” Max simply nodded.

“How are you doing, Joyce?” she asked finally, raising her eyes to look at her companion. Joyce’ small shrug and forced smile talked volumes; no words were needed to be said.

“As okay as can be expected,” she replied after a moment, her fingers curling around the hot mug that was in front of her, her knuckles turning a little white. “I keep waiting for her to throw the door open and stomp up to her room or yell about something… I don’t think I’ll ever stop…” she whispered and Max wished she could say she knew exactly what that was like. But she couldn’t. She knew that her heart would always skip a beat every time her phone rang or when she would get a new message because, if only for a millisecond, she would think it was Chloe asking her to meet her for breakfast at Two Whales or whining about David who had cut her allowance again. She knew what it was like to lose your best friend and the person you loved more than you loved anyone else, but she had no idea what it was like to lose your only child. To wake up every morning, walk into their room, and find it both empty and full at the same time. “I still haven’t had the strength to go through her stuff…” Joyce said suddenly as if able to read Max’ mind. “It just feels so… _wrong_ to empty her room… So unfair...” She sniffed trying to keep her voice even and the tears from spilling. Max felt the knot in her stomach twist even further as she placed a hand on top of the woman’s in an attempt to comfort her.

“I’m so _so_ sorry, Joyce…” she whispered, not really knowing what else to say or even able to say anything more. She could feel her own tears starting to pool in her eyes as she looked up and blinked rapidly. “I… I wish there was something I could do to help… I-”

The older woman raised her tear-stained face to look at Max, a heart-breaking smile adorning her lips. “You are helping, Max. Just being here, you have no idea how much you're helping…”

“I wish I’d have come sooner... Be here for you and David both, help you out with everything…” the hipster didn’t know what else to say other than apologize again and again for not being there, for not being... enough. Enough to save Chloe and enough to comfort her parents when they needed it the most. They spent a few more minutes in silence with Joyce crying and Max just holding her hands in her own, not knowing what else she could do to make things easier. A little while longer, and the brunette knew she had to get out of there. It was all getting too much and she could feel the beginnings of an oncoming breakdown approaching. She didn’t want for her strong front to be destroyed right before the one person who needed the most support right now. Clearing her throat, Max made a decision that surprised even her own self. “Can I… Can I go upstairs in her room for a bit?” she asked in a tiny, fragile voice that she couldn't keep from breaking. “If it’s not too much to ask, I just want to see it…”

Joyce nodded quickly, her hands flying to her face to wipe the fallen tears. “Of course you can, Max,” she replied. “Stay as long as you want to, don't worry about it. And…” her voice grew hesitant. “Please take whatever you want from there… I know I already gave you a bunch of her stuff I thought you'd like to have, but…”

“It’s okay, Joyce, thank you. I won’t… I won’t stay long,” whispered Max as she got up, her heart beating faster as she glanced towards the stairs.

* * *

It could have been five minutes later or it could have been five hours, Max didn’t know; she didn’t care. She had faintly heard a knock on the door, followed by a voice somewhere in the distance. It sounded more like white noise than anything else.

“...worried.” The voice suddenly became clear, almost as if Max had been abruptly pulled out of a very long tunnel and forced back into reality.

“Huh?” she whispered, he voice hoarse and her eyes glazed as she turned her head to the source of the sound.

Joyce took a tentative step inside, obviously not yet comfortable enough to be in the room without being plagued by memories. “I just wanted to see if you’re okay up here,” she said softly. “It’s been a while, you had me a bit worried.”

Max stared at her for a second, “Oh… I'm- I'm fine, sorry for worrying you,” she apologized hastily as she got up from the bed and dusted the front of her pants, only to give her hands something to do. “It's just… I haven't been in here in ages, that's all. And… well, I had hoped that when I did end up coming back, it would be under different circumstances. _Very_ different circumstances…” Joyce didn't know what else to do other than nod, a sad expression adorning her face.

“You're back now, Maxie,” she said almost as if talking to her own daughter, “and that's what's important.”

Max looked around, not knowing what to say. What did one say in situations like this one? I'm sorry? She has said that countless times already and it didn't fix anything. It didn't bring Chloe back. “I… I think I might have to come back another time for the stuff… I didn’t…” she didn’t finish her sentence; she couldn’t. “Sorry...”

“You need to stop apologizing, sweetheart,” Joyce said in a soft voice as she walked over to the girl and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. “This wasn’t your fault so please stop blaming yourself. You’ll only make things worse for you…”

‘But it was my fault, it was _,’_ was the only thing in Max’ mind. How could she ever tell Joyce that, however? How do you tell your best friend’s mother who has just lost her only child that their death was something you could have prevented? That’s right, you don’t. Max gave Joyce a sad, apologetic smile before moving in for a brief yet full of emotion hug.

“I should go back, I’ve been here for hours,” she said as she pulled away from Joyce’s arms. She watched as the older woman nodded and turned around to exit the room . She followed closely behind, glancing over her shoulder one last time with a sigh. _‘How can a room be so familiar and yet so strange at the same time?’_

Five more minutes later, and Max was saying her goodbyes to Joyce, sealing her unexpected visit with a somewhat awkward hug and a promise to come back as soon as she could. Joyce then made it clear that she could visit whenever she wanted, and stay however long she felt like. Max didn’t know whether it was because the woman actually liked her company or because her presence in the house gave off an air of familiarity and routine that had been lost, but, whatever the reason, the girl knew she would be keeping her word. Since she was unable to help Chloe, then the least she could do was to try and help those around her who had also  been affected by what had happened. Joyce, Kate... Everyone. Even Victoria.

* * *

 

It didn’t take Max long to reach the campus that afternoon. The bus ride had been disappointedly short. She always loved long bus rides, she would find them calming, loving the way the movement of the vehicle relaxed her body and lulled her mind. The ride from Chl- _Joyce’_ house to Blackwell, however, was short, anticlimactic; it never gave her the chance to let her mind wander far enough.

Glancing at her phone as she entered the girls’ dorm and walked up the stairs, she made a hasty choice not to go straight to her room. The day had been filled with spar-of-the-moment decisions, so  one more couldn’t hurt. Instead, she stopped in front of the door right next to the one across from hers and knocked tentatively. She knew Kate wouldn’t mind the visit and Max could really use a friendly distraction after the emotional roller coaster that was pretty much her entire day so far.

The brunette had made it a point to hang out with Kate as much as she could those past weeks. Knowing the fragile state of her friend and just how much could go wrong in the blink of an eye, she had made it her business to keep the girl company whenever she could. It was such a refreshing sight seeing her smile and laugh again. Kate was helping Max just as much as Max was helping Kate, even if the blonde girl didn’t realize it right away.

It was during one of their usual tea dates that Kate had told Max that she had seen Victoria punch her door that night when she got back from the Vortex Club party and Max could only stare at her friend in disbelief because Victoria must have used all the force she possessed if she had managed to make her knuckles bleed. And it was during one of their movie nights that Max saw all of Kate’s drawings lying around and had praised her so much for them, she thought Kate would explode by how red her face had turned. Their healing was a slow process, but they were both getting there, and knowing they had each other to count on made the entire ordeal just a little bit easier.

Max shook the thoughts from her mind as the door in front of her opened slightly, revealing a confused-looking Kate. She visibly relaxed, however, and smiled happily when she saw her friend standing there, smiling back at her.

“Max!” Kate sounded excited and maybe just a little bit surprised. She wasn’t used to Max dropping in without asking first, not that the impromptu visit was unwelcome in any way. “Come in.”

“Hi, Kate,” Max greeted sheepishly as she walked inside. “Sorry for coming over like that, I hope I’m not interrupting anything.”

“No, I was just finishing up my science assignment. Is everything okay?” she looked at her friend up and down, making sure nothing seemed off about her.

Max nodded, “yeah, everything’s fine. I just thought it would be nice to hang out for a while. I missed you.” Kate blushed and laughed softly at that. “I can go and come back later, though? I don’t want to distract you from your homework,” the hipster continued, but the blonde would have none of that.  After being assured that she wasn’t a distraction and that the science assignment Kated had been working on could be done another time since it was only optional for extra credit, Max found herself lying on Kate’s bed, phone in hand, while the other girl worked on drawing something, a familiar and calming silence falling between them.

“You know,” came Kate’s voice after a while from behind her sketchbook, “I haven’t heard anything from Victoria lately.”

“Huh?” Max questioned, busy replying to yet another text from Warren. She liked the guy, but definitely not the way he wanted her to. “I thought that was a good thing?” she asked putting her phone down. “I mean… She’s not bullying you anything now…” There was a hidden question in her words, she wanted to make sure that the head bitch of Blackwell hadn’t gone back to her old ways; especially after deleting that video of Kate and making sure, in her own Victoria Chase way, that no one would ever even think of reuploading it.

“No, she’s not… It’s still a little weird, though, I’m worried about her.” Max couldn’t help but marvel her friend's selflessness. Only Kate would be worried about the person who had spent the majority of the school year making her life a living hell.

“I heard Taylor and Courtney talking the other day,” Max stated, chuckling at the look Kate threw at her. “I wasn’t _trying_ to eavesdrop, they were just being kinda loud. Anyways, they’re worried about Victoria, too. And then there was that incident after the party…” Kate’s face fell at the mention of that, her eyes growing sad. “Shit, no, Kate, I’m sorry!” exclaimed Max a moment later, when she realized what was going on. “I didn’t mean it like that, please don’t feel guilty about anything, I’m sorry.”

“But I was right there, Max… I could have helped, I could have-”

“You did nothing wrong, Kate, _nothing_ ,” Max wasn’t about to sit around and listen to her friend blame herself for something she didn’t do wrong. “After the way Victoria has treated you, not even _she_ can blame you for freezing up like you did. If anything, it’s Taylor and Courtney who should feel bad. They’re the ones who left her alone after they knew she was drunk.”

“I don’t think blaming others is going to make me feel any better, but thanks, Max,” Kate’s voice was soft and quiet now, making a great job at making the hipster feel even worse for what she had just said. “Anyway…” continued the blonde shortly after after taking a deep, calming breath, “I guess the reason why I mentioned Victoria in the first place is because I found a note outside my door this morning and...” she paused.

“Was… was it from her?” The question sounded cautious, betraying just how bizarre Max found what was being said; leaving notes in front of people’s doors was definitely not a very Victoria thing to do. Max briefly wondered if that softer, nicer side to the queen bee she had discovered during her time travels was finally beginning to show.

“I don’t know, it didn’t have a name on it or anything, but…” she raised her shoulders as her voice faded. “It’s on my desk if you want to see it.” Max nodded and got up her eyes locating a piece of paper neatly folded on Kate’s desk. “At first I thought it was from you, but that wouldn’t make any sense,” Kate continued. “Not to mention it’s written in cursive and I really can’t imagine you writing anything in cursive,” she chuckled.

“Hey!” Max chided in pretend offence, laughing right after. “Yeah, cursive is really not me, who am I kidding,” she joked. Silence engulfed the room as she read the short note, impressed at how pretty the letters looked. Whoever wrote it, whether it was Victoria or someone else entirely, they had obviously tried hard to make it look beautiful.

 _‘I miss hearing you practise everyday, Katie. I’m sorry for everything, I hope you’re doing okay.’_ Max blinked and read it again. It had to be Victoria. Her mind flashed back to that night she and Chloe had broken into the school; into principal Wells’ office, into his computer and into his desk, into the pool area… Her head was swarmed with visions of a past erased from everyone’s existence except her own. They had seen Victoria that night, talking to that scumbag Jefferson; _flirting_ with him, even trying to blackmail him into making her the winner or the Everyday Heroes contest. She had talked about Kate then, called her Katie, pretended to care about her. Even Jeffer- _he_ was surprised by how close to Kate Victoria had pretended to be. She wasn’t fooling anyone.

Ignoring the churning of her stomach that simply thinking of his name had caused, the brunette blinked rapidly, forcing her mind to focus on the present. “Whoever it is, they liked hearing you play your violin every day,” she said with a small, forced smile. “I liked it too… And I really miss it…”

“Do you think it’s Victoria?” Kate ignored Max’ comment about her not playing her violin anymore.

The hipster simply nodded. “It’s obviously from someone who lives here, otherwise they wouldn’t have known about you practicing,” she said. “And I don’t think there’s anyone else here who would feel the need to apologize to you more than Victoria or her posse.”

It was Kate’s turn to nod now. “I know this must sound kinda strange, especially coming from me, but I don’t think Victoria is a bad person inside…” she said, her eyes glued to her lap. “She has this… front she puts on all the time, but I really do think she’s not all that bad.” Max was surprised by how perceptive Kate was, having been able to read Victoria like an open book. “I’m not saying I should forget what she did and be her best friend,” she continued, her eyes still studying her neatly folded hands as if they were the most interesting things in the world, “I do think she’s being genuine, though… And I know that she’s also going through a rough patch, and maybe… maybe she needs someone to talk to… I guess what I’m saying is that I won’t turn her down if she ever wants to come talk to me,” the girl raised her shoulders as she spoke.

Max stared at her friend for a moment before speaking. “You really are an angel, Kate,” her voice was soft as she placed a hand on the other girl’s shoulder. “Don’t ever, _ever_ change.” That elicited a small laugh from the blonde who finally looked up, her eyes filled with gratitude.

“Thanks, Max,” she chuckled.

“I mean it, Kate,” Max insisted. “I don’t think you even realize how  much you deserve in this world.”

“I only ‘deserve’ what I’m capable of getting myself, Max,” Kate half laughed. “I don’t deserve anything more than you for example.” Max felt a knot in the back of her throat.

“Hey, enough mushy stuff,” the girl pushed through the uneasy feeling. “Show me what you’ve been sketching all this time, you’ve hardly spared me a glance the entire time I’m here,” she teased, amused by the pink hue that had appeared on her cheeks.

“Sorry, Max, I got distracted,” Kate replied awkwardly, glancing at her sketchbook. “I had this idea this morning that wouldn’t leave my mind so I had to draw it,” she explained as she handed over the notebook, anxious to see her friends reaction.

“Holy shit…” Max breathed before she was able to stop herself. “Sorry, Kate,” she quickly apologized, “but this is gorgeous. I had no idea you could draw like that.” All she had seen by then had been cute sketches that would be perfect to illustrate children’s books, something that she knew Kate wanted to do professionally, but what she was holding in her hands now had nothing to do with those drawings. “That’s… That’s me...” she said in a soft voice after a minute, her mind finally registering what she was seeing. She received a small nod from the girl who was now sitting next to her. “And…” she couldn’t finish.

“And Chloe…” Kate whispered. “I’m sorry if I’m overstepping any boundaries, I really am… But I just had to draw this. If it makes you feel bad, you don’t have to take it…”

Max stared for a moment longer before blinking back a few tears. “It’s for me?” Another nod. “H-how did you- _Why_ did you...” the question was left unfinished.

“I had seen Chloe around before she got expelled,” Kate explained. “And even after that, she would still hang out in the dorms sometimes… So I knew what she uh… What she looked like. As for the why, well… For- for you.” That’s all it took for Max to finally let her guard down, tears now freely flowing down her face.

“Thank you,” was all she was able to say before letting the oncoming sobs overtake her body and breaking down completely.

“Oh,  Max… I’m so sorry,” Kate moved to hug the sobbing girl barely holding back her own tears.

“No,” Max sniffed and pulled back from the comforting embrace to wipe her eyes. “No, _I'm_ sorry. I just- I didn't expect this, I don't know what came over me…”

“Don’t be silly, it’s only natural to still miss her, she is- was your best friend, after all…” both girls cringed at that. Kate scolded herself and frowned; she knew the drawing was a terrible idea, and now talking about Chloe only made everything worse. She couldn’t help but feel just a little bit relieved as well, however, seeing that Max wasn’t bottling up her emotions and was giving herself the chance to grieve properly. “So much for enough mushy stuff,” she commented in an attempt to brighten the mood, causing Max to let out a sound somewhere between a sob and a laugh. Silence overtook them once again soon after, broken only by Max’ scattered sobs and harsh breathing.

“Five years,” she said after a while, making Kate look up at her.

“Huh?”

“I was away for five years and I never even texted her. Can you believe how stupid I was?” It didn’t take much of an effort for Kate to realize that Max was still talking about Chloe.

“You're not stupid, Max.”

“And- And when I came back, I thought she'd be… I don’t know, mad at me… for leaving her… for not being there for her when her father died… I thought she wouldn't ever want to talk to me after five years of radio silence. I'd written so many letters for her… took so many pictures that I wanted to send over. And I was never… brave enough to do so… I'm such a coward.” It was a statement, Kate knew as much. Max was asking for her opinion, she was plainly declaring what she thought of herself and it pained the blonde immensely.

“I'm sure...” she began trying to find the right words, “I’m sure that if you could change the past, you would make things better. For both of you. But you _can't_ , Max, no one can.” Max flinched at the weight of what was being said. “What you can do, is work on making the future a better place for you and for the people you love who are still around… And I’m sure Chloe is looking down on you and she’s so proud of the person you are and the person you can be… She’s smiling so much, Max, I know it.”

Max didn’t know what she had done to deserve a friend like Kate, but she knew she must have done something right in that messed up life of hers, because there she was now, being held by the gentlest, warmest person she had ever had the luck to know. She returned the embrace and the two girls stayed there for a while, until both of them were ready to let go and let this day bring them one more step closer to healing. It was always like that, Max had realized. Real healing could only come through pain and tears, and she had more than enough of them both to heal every aching person in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know how I feel about this chapter, I kinda like it, but then I kinda don't, but I think that's just because I've read it so many times now it just seems ridiculous and cheesy xD Still though, drop me a line if you liked it! And sorry for the lack of Victoria, she'll be back in the next chapter.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have risen from the grave! So sorry it took me so long but chapter 5 was (and still is) seriously kicking my butt. I still wanted to upload ch4 for you guys, though, so here you have it! Hope you enjoy this, I had quite a bit of fun writing it :)

“...n’t mean you should mix them together unless you want your internal organs to fail. Now, any questions?” Max’ mind snapped back to reality. She had no idea if she had actually dozed off or if she had simply gotten so distracted, she had blocked out every sound around her, but there she was now, in the middle of science class, scrambling to keep up with a lecture she hadn’t the slightest clue what it was about. Glancing around, she noticed that no one seemed too eager to ask Mrs. Grant any questions which could only mean one thing:

“Alright then, seeing you have all understood today’s lesson so well, you wouldn’t mind a pop quiz.” A chorus of groans filled the room, not that it would do anything to prevent their impending doom. Max didn’t care all that much, she knew she would fail no matter what so whining about it wouldn’t make any difference. She ripped a piece of paper from her notebook, wrote down the date her name and the two questions Mrs. Grant asked them, and silently got up to hand it in. She could feel curious eyes burning holes on her back as she walked to the front of the class, but she couldn’t bring herself to mind. She shrugged and threw a somewhat indifferent look at Mrs. Grant in response to the confused and concerned one she had received from her, and she quietly exited the classroom with her head lowered and her shoulders slumped.

It was one of… _those_ days again. She wished she could just go back to her room and stay there forever, without having anyone looking for her or... texting her. It had been a while now that that word would bring a very specific face in her mind. She hadn’t received a text from Victoria in almost two weeks, since the day the taller girl had woken up in her room after that Vortex Club party. It was painfully obvious that Victoria had been avoiding her but Max didn’t mind all that much. The queen bee had said it herself, they were not friends; so why should she bother herself with what the girl across the hall did? Speak of the devil…

  
There Victoria was, walking towards Max, her two followers flocking around her. Their eyes locked for just a second before the taller girl averted hers, straightening her back and raising her nose as she walked by. She didn’t have enough time to turn around and go to the opposite direction this time, so she worked on making herself as big and intimidating as she could without actually having to interact with the petite brunette. Max simply groaned and rolled her eyes; she was starting to get real tired of Victoria’s shit. They had other things to do than to avoid one another like the plague day in and day out, what Victoria was doing couldn’t only be described as idiotic and childish in Max’ mind. If anything, she had thought that after helping her “enemy” out that night, she would drop the bitchy attitude at least when no one else was around. She didn’t expect her to put up even more walls.

“Ugh, whatever,” mumbled the hipster shaking the thoughts from her head. For someone who claimed not to care about Victoria, she was thinking about her an awful lot lately and it was getting annoying. She attributed the thoughts to her overtly caring nature, convincing herself that she would feel the same if Kate had been acting that way or even Warren. The young hipster grew a little sad when Warren’s name popped in her mind. She may not have been interested in him the same way he was, _‘he’s so much better off with someone like Stella anyways, who actually likes him back,’_ , but he was still her friend. She made a mental note to text him soon, see if he would be interested in spending a day at the Arcade or something like they used to. Somehow, the thought of spending time with him, however, didn’t make her feel nice in any way, nor did it make even a small smile appear on her lips. She hated that. It felt like she was mocking him, hanging out with him only because she had to, not because she wanted to. It wasn’t always that way, in the beginning, she did actually enjoy spending time with him, nerding out about movies and TV shows so cringy that she felt embarrassed to even mention in front of anyone else. He was, after all, the only person she knew who was into that.

 _‘Ah, the joys of having only two friends.’_ Max felt a tiny smile forming on her lips as she thought that this could have easily been the title of her autobiography; along with a couple other things she had come up with lately that she would rather not think of right then. Sighing, she took out her phone from her front pocket and scrolled down to Warren’s contact. She typed in a simple “hey”. She deleted it. “How are you?”, “long time no see”, “wanna hang out after class?” all had similar fates before the girl shook her head and shoved her phone back in her pocket. She wasn’t in the mood to hang out with anyone anyway.

Finally reaching her dorm, Max lied back down on her bed, not even bothering to check the time. She already knew she was skipping the rest of the day and she had zero regrets about it too. It was Friday and she never minded skipping gym anyway, seeing as she was probably one of the least athletic people she knew. The professor, whose name she couldn’t even remember most of the times, had pretty much given up on her as well, which only made it easier to skip without a second thought. _‘No regrets,’_ she thought and chuckled softly to herself.

* * *

It was dark. Max didn’t know where she was, she couldn’t tell. Everything around her was pitch black and she couldn’t tell if it was because there were no lights or because she was blindfolded. Her entire body was numb and she couldn’t move. Screaming was out of the question too, no sound would come out of her mouth. Panic; this felt like a good time to panic and that seemed to be exactly what her body had decided to do. She felt her breathing pick up until it became impossible to actually breathe and her heart beating so fast, she feared it was going to jump out of her chest. All sounds merged into a loud humming in her ears that only served to worsen her pre-existing headache.

  
Her head snapped to the side and there was a stinging sensation on her cheek. Someone had just slapped her. The action did one hell of a job at shutting her up as she drew a harsh breath and held it in her lungs for a few moments. She stayed there, feeling the sound returning to her ears as she slowly let the breath out. She could finally make out something else other than her own pulse and that caused her to hold in yet another breath. Voices; but not just any voices. A male and two females were also there, and Max knew right away who they were.

  
“N-no,” one of the female voices cried. “Please,” it begged while the other female voice was sobbing nearby. The male one laughed. Max felt sick.

  
“Please don’t do this,” came the other female voice, making the hipster’s heart sink and her stomach twist even further. There was silence for a few moments and Max let herself breathe again. Just as she felt herself relax a little, a gun cocked and a whimper was heard, followed by a gunshot and a shrill scream that was cut short by a second gunshot.

  
Max’ body shot up, her eyes looking around frantically as she took in her surroundings. Her room; she was in her room. It was just a nightmare. _‘Just.’_ Her face was drenched in sweat and she could feel her heart beating a mile a minute. She tried rubbing her face to wake herself up a little more, but her hands were shaking too much for her to do anything. She didn’t know if she had screamed as she woke up and she couldn’t bring herself to care either. She may as well be screaming right now, and she still wouldn’t care. Trying to calm herself proved to be futile as her breathing only grew more rapid and shallow and she could now feel tears running down her cheeks. She thought there was a knock on her door, but she couldn’t be sure; it could have just been her mind playing tricks on her. She didn’t bother answering, she couldn’t do that anyway. Next thing she knew, a pair of arms were wrapping around her shaking shoulders, holding her as she cried herself back to a dreamless, much to her relief, sleep.

  
There was a glass of water on her nightstand that Max was pretty sure wasn’t there the night before. There was also a note sitting under it, and Max was _certain_ it wasn’t there the night before. Rubbing the sleep from her eyes, she grabbed the glass, drinking a little. She never liked drinking water so soon after waking up, the taste always grossing her out, but her throat felt like it had been rubbed with sandpaper and she couldn’t help but be grateful for the gentle soul who thought to leave it there for her to find, the creepiness of the whole situation never registering fully in her mind.

The note was next. The paper was neatly folded, taken out of her own notebook as the little owl on the bottom corner showed; she loved that notebook, she would recognize its paper anywhere. So not only had someone come into her room without permission, they had had the audacity to defile her favorite notebook too. Max only knew of one person who would do that and, as she scanned the piece of paper, she realized her assumption was correct.

_‘You are lucky I wasn’t asleep last night and your obnoxious screaming didn’t wake me up. Next time, you should be more considerate of your dormmates before you start screaming bloody murder at four o’clock in the morning._

_PS: Drink the water, it’ll help with the sore throat you’re probably nursing right now.’_

It was written in perfect cursive, the same that Max had definitely seen before, quite recently in fact, and hadn’t been signed. She knew right away who it was from, however. Not many people would talk to her in that condescending tone and even less could convey said tone through text. Victoria did have a caring side to her, but she sure had one hell of a way of showing it. Max briefly wondered whether Victoria would consider this as “paying her debt” to her for the other night; she seemed like someone who would think this way, even though Max would never even consider Victoria actually owing her anything for helping her out. It was when she went to place the paper back on her nightstand that she noticed a second postscript written on the back of it, almost as an afterthought and almost as if Victoria didn’t really want it to be seen.

 _‘PPS: My offer still stands, by the way, in case you were wondering,’_ it simply stated and Max had to rack her brain to remember what the blonde was talking about.

 _“My door will always be open if you ever want someone to talk to.”_ Victoria’s voice suddenly echoed in her mind and Max seriously considered taking the girl up on said offer. She wasn’t sure how she felt about talking to anyone, however. Shaking her head, she decided against it at least for now. Victoria was the last person she wanted to see, especially after that nightmare. At least she was okay in real life and that’s what mattered after all. She did make a mental note to properly thank Victoria when she saw her. She could only hope the queen would actually be more approachable the next time their paths crossed.

Max had no idea what time it was. All she knew was that it was dark, was it because it was night out or because the blinds were shut, who knew? Who cared? She already knew what she was doing for the rest of the day and for the entire weekend, and that was sit in her room, nothing more. Of course, staying inside and doing nothing proved to have its downside as well, as her mind would inadvertently drift back to that god damned nightmare.

It wasn’t the first nightmare she had had, not by far, and she knew it probably wasn’t going to be the last either, but she really thought she was finally getting them under control. She hadn’t woken up in the middle of the night in almost a week, and she hadn’t had a nightmare as vivid as that in double that time. She would still jolt awake sometimes, but not screaming in fear and drenched in her own sweat. For the first time since she woke up, she had time to think about what it was she had dreamt about, and the answer left her feeling sick.

  
It was her back in the dark room with… _him_ . She didn’t think she would ever forget the sound of his voice or the way his slimy fingers felt against her face. They weren’t alone, however. Victoria was there, begging for her life, and… Chloe. The second voice was definitely Chloe’s and that send shivers down Max’ spine. And not the good kind. On the one hand, she couldn’t help but be kind of grateful she didn’t have to witness her best friend -and Victoria- being shot by that monster again, but on the other she heard it; and her mind was all too eager to create the images for her. That was more than enough to cause bile to rise in the back of her throat. She shakily reached for the water, spilling some on herself as she swallowed a couple of mouthfuls, sweat once again forming on her forehead. Forcing herself to get up, she reached her stereo and put on the loudest song she could find. Music always helped to take her mind off things, and extremely loud music would be perfect to drown everything out.

* * *

Someone was knocking on her door. No, someone was _pounding_ her door with all their might. Had she really fallen asleep with all that noise around her? Probably; she had no idea what had happened. _‘Maybe I should start being worried about those memory lapses, this can’t be normal.’_ Then again, nothing was normal to begin with.

“What the fuck, Caulfield?” Victoria was fuming. Her fist was raised, ready to start banging again, when the door she had been assaulting swang open. “Is it your fucking mission to make me hate you? Turn that shit down.” She didn’t wait for the hipster to talk, to invite her in or to even slam the door on her face; not that she would ever do that. The tall girl pushed Max aside and strutted inside, her finger slamming on the stereo’s power button. She proceeded to rip the plug from the wall for good measure. Silence. Too much silence; awkward, overwhelming silence. Max’ mumbled apology went unheard as Victoria stood there, in the middle of the room, arms crossed in front of her chest. Her expression was enough to tell Max that a half-hearted apology was not what she was looking for.

  
“Sorry,” she muttered again, her voice quiet and her eyes not landing on the person in front of her.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Yes, Victoria was _definitely_ not looking for a half-assed apology Max didn’t even mean.

“Listening to music?” Max tried. “Look, I said I’m sorry, so you can go back to whatever it is you were doing. Won’t happen again, don’t let me keep you.” The blonde simply stared, causing a sigh to escape Max’ lips. “I don’t know what you want me to say, Victoria,” their eyes finally met, both sets were red though Max suspected it was for different reasons. Victoria had a strong scent of weed mixed with… lavender? following her around while she, well she had been crying her eyes out. She wondered if she looked as bad as she felt; she probably did. And then there Victoria was, looking as immaculate as ever, even in her goddamn pajamas and with a couple of pieces of hair sticking out of place. One more reason for Max to feel bad about herself.   _‘Wait though…’_

“Vict-”

“I see you drank the water.” Max’ head turned to follow Victoria’s gaze. Her eyes had fallen on the now half-empty glass on the nightstand.

“I… Yeah, thanks. It- It helped a lot.”

Victoria huffed, “of course it did.” A few moments passed and Max could feel the awkwardness suffocating her. This conversation was going nowhere. She felt uncomfortable, uneasy, tense, self-conscious and every other synonym she could think of. “Look, Max,” another huff. The taller girl looked around nervously, as if making sure no one else was round. She hastily moved to the door and shut it before turning back around to face her classmate. “Last night… It was pretty scary, okay? I-I’d never seen you like this, the whole thing was fucked up. Are you… Is everything alright?” she winced at her own question, knowing that if everything was “alright” there would be no screaming in the middle of the night and no awkward one-on-ones surrounded by heavy silences in the hipster’s room.

“Everything’s great, Victoria, thanks,” Max muttered, unable to keep some hints of sarcasm from her voice. “Don’t let me bother you.”

“You’re not- Ugh, dammit, Max!” Victoria’s arm shot out and grabbed Max’ own dragging the brunette to the bed and making her sit down. “Talk.” Victoria took a seat next to her and all but ordered, albeit in a more… gentle, even kind of worried tone.

“I… I don’t know, Victoria, I’m not in a very sociable mood right now.”

“No shit, Caulfield. If I had to wait for you to be in a “sociable mood”, I’d be old and gray before having a decent conversation with you. Now look,” Max opened her mouth to respond but was stopped by the blonde’s index finger against her lips, “let’s make this easy for both of us. I know you have no reason to trust me, but I do still owe you one from last time and, if anything, I never forget those who have helped me. I may be a bitch, but I’m not heartless, Max. So how about I sit here and listen to you go on and on about whatever’s bothering you? No matter how stupid you think it may be, I’m willing to listen. And let’s say that, as a rule, whatever is said or happens in here, stays in here. Try and trust me when I say that Vegas rules apply and _will_ be followed; nothing you say will ever leave this room. So what do you say?” Max had to admit that she was finding Victoria’s offer quite tempting and she felt herself nod before she had time to decide otherwise. The small action caused Victoria to sit up a little and nod smiling subtly. “Good. Let me just run to my room for a second and I’ll be right back for our little cœur-à-cœur.” She paused with her hand on the doorknob. “Don’t you fucking dare lock me out, okay?” she said and Max was left staring, confused by the playfulness in the girl’s voice. She was starting to believe she had woken up in an alternate reality because the Victoria she was dealing with right now had absolutely nothing to do with the Victoria she knew for so long, hell, it had absolutely nothing to do with Victoria from that morning. All too soon, the door opened again, revealing the taller girl who was now carrying some cigarettes, her lighter, an ashtray, and… a blanket?

“Uh… What…” was the only thing Max managed to say before Victoria plopped herself on the bed and draped the soft blanket over their legs.

“I figured that, since _I’m_ not blabbing to anyone about this, you’re required to do the same,” she stated. “I also figured that we should get more comfortable and this is my favorite blanket for situations like the present." _'Nerd.'_ "The cigarettes don’t need an explanation, they are mandatory. I may be willing to share if you want me to, though I highly doubt you’ve ever smoked anything in your short, sheltered life, let alone weed,” finished the blonde as she got more comfortable, her back now resting against the wall.

“I have too smoked,” Max protested as she followed suit and leaned back as well.

“Being around people who smoke, doesn’t count as smoking, Lamefield,” Victoria chuckled as she brought the joint to her lips and inhaled deeply to light it. “You could loosen your tongue a little, though.” She offered the blunt to the brunette who eyed it cautiously. She hadn’t realized that that’s what Victoria meant when she said she was willing to share. “I don’t have all day, Caulfield. You either want this or you don’t.” Max quickly grabbed the cigarette, brought it to her lips and took a deep breath. She held it in for a second before exhaling, coughing only once while doing so. Victoria eyed her intrigued. “Well, color me impressed. I didn’t think you had it in you, Maxine.”

“Max,” the girl corrected before going to take another drag. A soft, pale hand stopped her, however.

“Take it easy there, Max. I need you to be coherent for now, remember? You can get high off your ass after we’re done talking.” The hipster ignored her. She wasn’t nearly relaxed enough to be going through this so she took another drag. She inhaled deeper this time, held the smoke in her lungs for longer. She didn’t cough at all this time and she closed her eyes as she felt a strange dizziness setting in. It felt weird; almost good. She could see why people enjoyed that sort of thing, the way her head was turning and her ears were buzzing, it made her want to laugh. She felt Victoria taking the joint from her, but she didn’t care. She was good now, she didn’t need any more. Victoria blew out some smoke in her general direction, causing her to open her eyes and look at her. With the shutters closed and the light in the room kept to a minimum, the blonde looked very pretty. Gorgeous even, Max thought, and was surprised not to have realized that sooner. _‘Woah, what the fuck, Max.’_

“So. Whenever you’re ready.” The queen bee’s voice coaxed her from her thoughts. The young hipster stared at her for a moment longer, trying to put her thoughts in a somewhat logical order, trying to figure out what was safe enough for her to share and what not.

A couple of minutes later, she opened her mouth and just- talked. About everything. About safe to share stuff and about things she never even dreamt of telling Victoria, _ever_ . She talked about how her nightmares had been keeping her up almost every night, how she was barely able to function anymore, be it in classes or in general, how she had been hanging out with Kate, making sure she was okay. That caused Victoria's breath to hitch in the back of her throat. _‘Good.’_ She talked about visiting Chloe’s mom, about how she wanted to help her get through the grieving process because that would be the least she could do since she was such a coward and didn’t stop Nathan when she had the chance to, how everytime she closed her eyes she could see him back in the bathroom, gun in hand. She talked about Chloe; god did she talk about Chloe… Not only the grown up version of her, no. She went all the way back to their pirates era, and their ‘let’s create a manga’ era, their times creating mixtapes for each other and their promises of never letting anything get between them. She shared about their falling out, about how she had been stupid and scared and never talked to Chloe again after moving to Seattle or later when she came back. As the words flowed from her lips, she felt her chest getting lighter, less constricted; it felt good. And Victoria listened. She never once interrupted or made an unnecessary comment, she never looked at Max like she thought she was being ridiculous or crazy; her eyes burned with interest, she had even leaned closer to the other girl, as if by reducing their proximity she could provide some sort of comfort. And it was working, Max hated to admit it, but it was working. Never, in all the time she knew Victoria, had she felt so comfortable being around her. It was as nice as it was weird.

By the time Max was done, there were tears streaming down her eyes, and she could feel the tell-tale signs of a headache settling in. Her stomach wasn’t doing any better either. Victoria, already in the process of lighting her third joint, hadn’t spoken yet. She was the first to break the silence, however.

“So you’re telling me,” inhale, “that, for whatever _shitty_ reason, you still haven’t been to a fucking therapist?” exhale. The brunette didn’t bother to reply. “Please don’t tell me you’re one of those people who believe a therapist is the same as a  psychiatrist cause if you are, I might have to punch you in the face.”

“Therapists are… really fucking expensive and I don’t have that kind of money.” Max didn’t know if she felt relieved that Victoria wasn’t talking about everything that she had just heard or maybe a little annoyed at the apparent lack of visible interest. It was probably the first, though.

“Get a better excuse, Caulfield, I’m not buying it,” the blonde got up, walked to the desk and grabbed a pen that had been sitting there. “Look, this is my therapist’s number. I’ve been seeing him for years, he’s been a huge help. Especially… well, now.” She grabbed the young hipster’s arm and wrote down the number. “He’s highly recommended and the first session is free so you really got nothing to lose,” she finished adding two little x’s after the last digit. Max could only stare.

“You could have used a paper…” she mumbled mostly to herself as she felt Victoria’s soft grip disappearing from her arm. Her skin felt hot where it had just been touched.

“Where’s the fun in that?” came the amused voice, causing the hipster to roll her eyes.

Silence fell upon the two girls once more, this time more bearable, however, more comfortable, soothing even. They sat there, Victoria had closed her eyes as she leaned her head back against the wall and blew smoke towards the ceiling and Max stared at her for a moment. She seemed so calm and relaxed, it honestly made her feel a little uncomfortable. She was not used to this version of Victoria. Not that she couldn’t get used to it, of course. It was a nice, refreshing change of pace.

“Stop staring, I can feel your eyes on me.” Max froze. _‘Shit.’_

“Sorry,” she muttered in a quiet, embarrassed voice and was quick to copy the taller girl’s stance. The two stayed like this for a while longer, each lost in her own mind, both of them content not to say anything. Neither of them could hide her disappointment when Max’ phone vibrated, drawing them both out of that blessed state of serenity. “I should take this,” the brunette whispered, her voice a little rough and throaty.

Victoria nodded as she got up and gathered her stuff. “Well, that’s my queue, I guess. It was… it was nice talking to you, Max. You’re not so bad after all.” She winked playfully and walked to the door. “I wouldn’t be too opposed to doing this again sometime if you’re up for it.” And with that, she was gone. Leaving behind a smell of weed and lavender that, in the next few months, would become Max’ own drug.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So have you guys played Before The Storm yet? I haven't but I heard my baby Victoria is in it and she's really smol and awkward. And bitchy as ever.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hii! So sorry this chapter took a while, I was really stuck as to where I wanted to take this. I hope it doesn't feel like I'm rushing it or anything and I also hope the chapters don't seem too repetitive. I've spent the entire week worrying about this being to repetitive or predictable or both and stuff. I don't know if it's just me or if that's actually the case, hahah. Anyways, hope you guys enjoy this chapter. Oh, and also, thanks so much to everyone who has commented, bookmarked and left kudos so far, your interest really makes me smile!

If Victoria knew that getting up that morning would lead to her entire life changing, she would never have bothered.   
  


Contrary to popular belief, Victoria was  _ not  _ a morning person. It wasn’t a rare occurrence to find her in the bathroom before anyone else in the morning, but that only happened because she had failed to sleep at all the night before; something that seemed to be happening all the more frequently lately. She made a mental not to mention this to her therapist. Sure, the man got on her nerves, but he was a damn good therapist. At least that’s what her parents kept saying.   
  


Sighing, she reached for the glass of water she always kept on the nightstand by her bed, right next to a bottle of pills she had to take every day. She glanced at the little orange bottle and groaned; she hated how drowsy and irritable those pills would always make her feel. She couldn’t skip taking her dose, however. Se scowled at herself, she could never skip her dose. Her parents would have a fit if they found out; they weren’t spending all this money on the best therapist money could buy for their daughter to disregard everything and do whatever she wanted. Her parents would also have a fit if they found out she had received yet another rejection letter, but she chose not to think about that.   
  


“Tori?” There was a gentle, almost timid knock on her door. “Are you up yet?” Taylor.   
  


Getting up hastily, Victoria grabbed the pill bottle and chucked it under her pillow. She ran her fingers through her hair to smooth it out and opened the door, a small scowl adorning her face. Taylor, already dressed for the day, smiled at the sight of her friend.   
  


“Grab breakfast with me?” she simply asked as she made her way inside the room. “We can go down at Two Whales, their waffles are so good,” she plopped herself on the bed.  
  


Victoria rolled her eyes and closed the door. “You know I hate the food there,” she replied as she pulled her t-shirt off, revealing a simple black bra. Taylor looked at her unfazed; they had been naked around each other far too many times to care.   
  


“No, you don’t,” retorted the other girl with a chuckle. “You only hate what that place has come to mean to you, their waffles are still the best in Arcadia Bay.”   
  


“That place means nothing to me,” Victoria scoffed. “And, anyway, I’m on a diet.” She removed the pair of shorts she had been wearing and pranced to the closet, pulling out her outfit for the day.   
  


Taylor groaned as she got off the bed and walked around the room, her eyes scanning over everything before finally landing on a printed piece of paper on her friend’s desk. “Are you fucking kidding me, Tori? Again?” she grabbed the paper, her eyes dancing over the lines. “You don’t need to diet, you’re already skinny. When was the last time you enjoyed a meal?” she could hear a muffed response coming from behind her, but the words weren’t clear enough for her to understand. “What’s this?” she asked a second later, her eyes still glued on the letter. She gasped in surprise when the paper was abruptly pulled away from her hands.   
  


“Not your fucking business, Tay,” Victoria all but hissed, the letter now crumpled in her hands. Taylor stared at her, her eyes slightly wide as she was taken aback by the sudden change in her friend’s attitude. “Ugh, sorry. It’s just a letter from that gallery in New York,” she explained grabbing her makeup bag from her desk.   
  


Taylor’s features softened in realization. “Wanna talk about it?”   
  


“Not really,” Victoria shook her head. “It’s nothing out of the ordinary anyway.”   
  


“It’s their loss, Tori. You’re an amazing photographer, anyone who doesn’t see this is blind.” Victoria chuckled but didn’t give any other response.    
  


Ten minutes later, and the two girls were standing in the hallway, Victoria locking her door as she nodded at Taylor who was hushedly explaining how she hoped they could spend some time alone without Courteney for once.

  
“Okay, out with it.” The two girls sat across from one another at a booth as further away from the entrance as they could. Taylor was busy scanning the menu while Victoria was digging through her purse for her lighter, a cigarette hanging loosely from her lips.  
  


“What are you talking about?” Taylor kept her eyes on the menu but her attempt to keep her voice even and indifferent didn’t go unnoticed.   
  


Victoria groaned and slammed her purse on the table before abruptly grabbing the cigarette from her lips almost crushing it in her hand. “I could have sworn I had my lighter with me, for fuck’s sake,” she muttered irritably as she turned her attention back to the blonde girl in front of her. “We didn’t meet yesterday, Tay.” Her tone was softer now. I know when there’s something you’re not telling me, you’re horrible at keeping secrets. The whole of Blackwell knows this,” she chuckled a little despite herself.   
  


Taylor sighed as she finally lowered the laminated paper barrier from between them. “Let’s just eat first, okay?”   
  


“Shit, is everything okay?” Victoria had instantly grown worried, her voice urgent and somewhat hushed as she leaned closer to her friend. “Is your mom okay? If you need a ride-”   
  


“My mom is fine, don’t worry about it. Thanks for the offer, by the way,” she smiled. “It’s not about me, actually.”    
  


It didn’t take long for the taller girl to figure out that she was probably the one Taylor wanted to talk about. “Oh,” she simply mumbled, relaxing back down on her seat. “Yeah, let’s eat first.” She raised her hand signaling for someone to come take her order. Much to both the girls’ surprise it wasn’t Joyce who arrived at their table, notepad and pen in hand.   
  


“You’re not the annoying blonde woman who kicked us out last time.”   
  


The waiter simply stared and raised his shoulders. Victoria rolled her eyes. “I'll take a cup of coffee,” she stated matter-of-factly. “Soy milk and no sugar.”   
  


“You should eat something,” came Taylor’s voice but was promptly ignored. “Waffles for me, thanks,” she said sighing and handed the two menus over to the waiter who nodded and left without uttering another word.    
  


“I wonder where that woman is…” Victoria mumbled after a while, nursing a hot cup of coffee in her hands. It was unclear whether she was talking to Taylor or she was simply thinking out loud.    
  


“Heard she was let go,” Taylor decided to respond anyway. “Something about her not being… you know, ‘all there’ to work, I think.” There was a hint of sadness in her voice. “You saw her, right?” she asked a couple of moments later. “At the funeral…?” the question was mumbled and hesitant.    
  


“I only talked to her briefly to pay my respects,” Victoria stared somewhere between over Taylor’s left shoulder and the window. “She was… well, as expected of someone who was attending their own child's funeral.” Taylor simply nodded.  “So what is it you wanted to tell me?” If Victoria hated anything, it was losing time beating around the bush.    
  


Taylor swallowed nervously. “My mom called today.”   
  


“I thought this had nothing to do with her?”   
  


“It doesn't. She's… worried. About me. And about you.”   
  


“About me?” The cigarette was now back in the girl’s fingers, a nervous habit, a way of distracting herself.   
  


“Yeah. She likes you a lot.”   
  


Pause. “Why?”   
  


“Because she thinks you're a nice person?”   
  


“I mean why is she worried.” Victoria could feel her patience dwindling but forced herself to calm down when she saw how nervous Taylor appeared to be.   
  


“It’s about Nathan,” muttered the other girl a few moments later showering both her and Victoria in heavy silence.   
  


Victoria could really use her lost lighter right about now. “He’s locked up,” she mentally patted herself on the back for keeping her cool like she did. It was no secret that the subject of Natan was a very sensitive one, rarely even touched upon by anyone other than her therapist.    
  


Taylor nodded slightly but stopped herself. “Well… he was.” The plate of half-eaten waffles laid forgotten in front of her.   
  


“They let him out?” This time, Victoria was unable to keep her voice indifferent and neutral, shock seeping easily into it.   
  


Taylor shook her head slowly as she thought how much easier it would have been to simply email Victoria a link of the whole thing. “Not exactly.”   
  


“He  _ got _ out?” Victoria’s eyes grew slightly wide.    
  


“You could say that.”   
  


“I thought he was being guarded at all times.”   
  


A nod, “he was.”   
  


“Enough fucking stalling, Taylor. Just say what you came over to say, I don’t need you sugarcoating anything.”    
  


“He…”  _ ‘fuck.’ _ “He’s dead, Victoria. He- he killed himself, it’s all over the news… I’m so sorry…”  _ ‘How’s that for not sugarcoating it?’ _ she thought bitterly as she reached across the table to take Victoria’s hand in her own.  “Vic, I-”   
  


As if a jolt of electricity coursed through her body, Victoria abruptly pulled her hand away, her face visibly paler than it had been a few seconds ago. “Excuse me,” she muttered grabbing her cigarettes and sliding out of the booth. Taylor’s voice calling out her name sounded muffled in her ears; and so did the annoyed “hey” that the person whose lighter she had just grabbed from their table yelled after her.   
  


“You should go after her,” came a voice from Taylor’s right that made her jump in surprise. The girl sighed and nodded in agreement, but she knew better. If the years of being around Victoria had taught her anything, it was to let her friend process and deal with everything in her own way and her own time. She had received one too many verbal lashings in the past that served to make her a little weary when it came to even approaching, let alone talking to the girl when she was this upset over something.   
  


A minute went by, then two, then three… Time seemed to be moving in slow motion. Taylor couldn't see where Victoria had gone, but she could guess. She hastily paid for what each of them had ordered, grabbed her purse and Victoria’s forgotten phone that was left on the table and made her way outside quietly apologising to the man whose lighter Victoria had stolen a few minutes before. Victoria was standing there, in the back alley, her back pressed against the wall and her head leaned back, her eyes closed as she inhaled deeply.   
  


“Hey.” Victoria opened her eyes slowly, not bothering turning her head to face Taylor who had just appeared around the corner, her hands clasped tightly in front of her as a sign of nervousness. The silence that surrounded the two girls was heavy and tense. Victoria closed her eyes once again, completely ignoring everything around her. It was her way of dealing with things, Taylor knew that. She would shut down for a few hours, maybe a day , and then she would come back to being her old self without as much of a warning.   
  


“Wanna talk about it?” Taylor already knew the answer to that question but she couldn’t stop herself from asking. A small glimmer of hope shone in her eyes when Victoria lifted her head and turned to look at her. It vanished just as quickly, however, when the taller girl opened her mouth.   
  


“No,” she stated simply, and Taylor felt like it hurt more than a verbal lashing would. At least then she would know that Victoria wasn’t bottling everything up again like she so often did.     
  


“Wanna go back?” she tried again. “We could hang out-”   
  


“What I  _ want _ , is to be left the fuck alone, Taylor!” The girl flinched.    
  


“You uh… You left your phone in there. Look, I’m gonna go back but please call me, okay? Please? Just- shit. Just talk to me when you feel like it. And please get back too, it looks like it’s about to rain.”   
  


“Good,” was the only thing that came out of Victoria’s mouth before she leaned her head back against the wall and closed her eyes, ignoring the sigh and incomprehensible mumble that came from her friend.  

* * *

Max smiled as the door in front of her opened, revealing a beaming Kate who motioned her to get inside. “I got cookies and my favorite ‘Final Fantasy’ movie, I hope you’re up for it!” she laughed as she walked in and immediately removed her shoes so she could hop on the bed.    
  


“You’re late,” Kate scoffed playfully as she took the DVD from Max’ hands and turned on the DVD player.   
  


“Only ten minutes,” Max laughed. “I had to go over some notes for the English class and lost track of time.” Kate nodded and a wave of relief washed over Max. Truth was, she had spent almost the entire day putting off her photography assignment, hating the fact that she couldn’t even look at a camera without feeling her stomach turning and bile rising up in her throat. “Cookie?” she asked forcing a big smile on her face as Kate walked to the bed and made herself comfortable next to her.   
  


“Only if it’s chocolate chip,” the both chuckled.   
  


Two hours later, and Kate couldn’t stop glancing over at Max who kept mumbling every single line from the movie along with the actors.    
  


“What?” asked the brunette when she heard a soft snicker coming from her left.   
  


“How many times have you watched this movie?” asked Kate unable to hold back her laughter.   
  


“I don’t know, like… not that many?” Max tired. “Why?” she could feel her face turning red and she silently thanked god the lights were off.   
  


“You keep repeating the lines,” Kate informed her and Max felt yet another wave of heat.   
  


“I’m not doing that,” she mumbled in a lame attempt to defend herself. She was most definitely doing that.   
  


“Yes, you are,” Kate laughed again. “For at least an hour now, it’s… it’s really cute actually, so don’t worry about it.” It was her turn to blush now.    
  


“Shut up,” Max mumbled burying her face in her hands for a short moment, not wanting to miss too much of the movie by being embarrassed.   
  


There was an annoying blinking light just off to Max’ right which she was trying hard to ignore. She knew it was her phone, it had gone off at least four times already, and she knew she should probably check to see who it was and what they wanted, but she couldn’t bring herself to care. And she would have to be doing a good job at ignoring it too, had the screen not be lighting up the entire room.   
  


“Uh… Max? Your phone is going off,” Kate informed her after the fifth time the screen lit up. The brunette sighed as she finally gave up and picked the device up. Why she hadn’t just turned it off of even placed it facing upside down if she really didn’t want to get it, she didn’t know. A part of her believed that, in a weird, somewhat twisted way, she liked knowing that people cared enough about her to call or text her five times in a row. And another part of her hoped, surprising as that was, that it was Victoria the one looking for her. She wasn’t about to admit it, not to herself and certainly not out loud, but there was something about the queen of Blackwell she found intriguing; endearing even. When she wasn’t too busy being a bitch and putting everyone down, that is. She was just a little bit disappointed when she saw it wasn’t Victoria who was texting her, but that feeling was quickly replaced by one of confusion when she saw who was. The number wasn’t familiar to her, she hadn’t saved it in her contacts and she couldn’t remember ever seeing it before. She knew of only one ‘Tay’, however. Max blocked the sound of the movie out for a moments while she read all the messages, each a little more frantic than the next.   
  


**(Unknown Number @12:19): Hey, Max, it’s Tay. Sorry for bothering you, but Victoria is down by The Two Whales and she was pretty upset when I left her... I was wondering if maybe you can go over there and kinda talk to her a bit? Seeing as you two seem to get along lately and all. Thanks!  
  
**

**(Unknown Number @12:57): Hey, it’s me again. I know you probably have plans, but Vic is still not back and I’m kinda worried… I know I shouldn’t have left her there by herself, but you know how she is… Anyways, pls let me know if you go over.  
  
**

**(Unknown Number @13:10): Okay, so you’re not the only one not replying to my texts, she’s ignoring me too. I knocked on your door and you didn’t answer so I really hope you two are ignoring me cause you’re together somewhere, talking or whatever. Text me, pls!  
  
**

**(Unknown Number @13:35): Shit, okay, Max now it’s raining and she’s still not back, I’m fucking worried about her, I don’t know what she could do. I told her some… not so great news and I was so stupid to leave her there when I knew how upset she was. Fuck. Just… pls come by my room, okay? The door is unlocked.  
  
**

Max could feel her heart picking up its pace at every text she read. Her head snapped towards the window; the sky was dark and there was the sound of constant thunder coming in through the closed blinds.   
  


She tried to block the horrifying memories from her mind as she turned her attention to Kate who was looking at her with a mixture of concern, interest, and fear in her eyes.   
  


“What’s up?” asked the girl, concern evident in her voice.   
  


“Nothing, it’s just uh…” Max cleared her throat that had suddenly become scratchy. “I need to do something, I’ll be back, okay?”   
  


“Max-”   
  


“Don’t worry about it,” the brunette stumbled as she attempted to put her shoes on while walking to the door. “It’s probably nothing, but better make sure. I’ll tell you everything when I come back, I promise!” With that, the young girl disappeared into the hallway, leaving a very confused and worried Kate staring at the spot she had just been standing in just a second ago.   
  


Just as Max was taking a deep breath and was about to knock on Taylor’s door, the sudden, loud banging of the entrance door made her stop dead on her tracks, her heart jumping in surprise. She held her breath as she heard someone’s wet footsteps coming up the stairs, accompanied by soft, incomprehensible mumbling. She retreated in the shadows as a familiar Oxford shoe appeared on the top of the stairs, immediately followed by a very familiar, albeit very wet body. Victoria didn’t seem to notice her or anything in her surroundings for that matter as she dragged her feet to her room and closed the door behind her.    
  


Max let out a breath she had apparently been holding and hastily knocked on Taylor’s door. There was a sound from inside the room as if someone tripped while getting out of bed and, a second later, the door opened revealing a dishevelled-looking Taylor who had, most liked, indeed tripped while in a hurry to get out of bed and open the door. The blonde girl’s face visibly fell as her eyes fell on Max but hope was quickly evident in her eyes when the shorter girl smiled awkwardly at her.    
  


“Victoria is in her room,” Max simply stated, her voice soft and caring in an attempt to ease Taylor’s mind.   
  


“Shit, thank god,” the blonde sighed in relief and brought a hand up to rub her eyes. “Did you… Did you guys talk? Were you with her?” she asked after a moment.   
  


“No, I uh… I just saw her coming in  just now. She didn’t look too good…” Max rubbed the back of her neck while glancing over at Victoria’s door.   
  


“Fuck, okay…  Thanks, Max. I should probably go over there for damage control,” she nodded to herself as she seemed to be trying to put her thoughts in some sort of order.   
  


“What happened?” Max asked unable to stop herself.   
  


“It’s N-” Taylor started but immediately stopped herself. “Uh… I’m really not sure if I should be saying anything… Maybe you should ask Victoria in like… a week or so? When she’s all better. Though, even if you don’t ask, you’ll probably hear about it soon enough…” Max looked at her confused. “I should really be going now, thanks again!”   
  
_ ‘Things are already weird and it’s not even two o’clock yet…’  _ Max thought as she made her way back to Kate’s room, more than ready to put the whole Victoria drama behind her, even for only half a day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo.... there. Not my favourite chapter, I'll say that much, haha. There were a few scenes that I had written that got cut cause they didn't quite fit in here. That, and also cause they made the story seem too repetitive, like I said. I've kept my favourite cut scene, however, and you bet I'm gonna be using it later on! I promise this isn't going to be all angst, bt. It just comes naturally to me to write in this tone. I'll write some happier chapters in the future, though, I will!! Anyways, thanks again for reading! Leave a comment if you do! Hell, leave a comment even if you don't, I really want to know what you guys don't like so I can improve it. Thank you!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's still not dead!! I want to apologize for the month-long wait, I didn't mean for this chapter to take so long to write. It's here now, though, so praise deh lord! xD I hope you enjoy reading this a little more than I enjoyed writing it, hahah Oh, also, thanks so much to everyone who has left kudos or alerted or commented on this silly thing! You guys make my day, thank you so much!!

Max woke up feeling strangely refreshed. She couldn’t remember the last time she had slept all through the night and woken up actually rested and ready to face reality, instead of wishing for the sweet release of death in her sleep. _‘God, that’s morbid. Am I really this messed up?’_ She yawned as she stretched, unwilling to get out of bed just yet. She took a few moments to figure out if she had anything planned for that day; being Monday, it usually meant that she wouldn’t be doing much else than going to class and studying. Or at least try to study while also drowning in the endless pit of darkness that was her mind. _‘What the fuck, Max, stop. This is cringy, you’re_ not _a depressed emo kid.’_ She chuckled as she finally threw the bed covers off her and sat up, her hand immediately grabbing for her phone. An article she had once read was floating in the back of her mind, reminding her how bad keeping your phone so close to you during the night was and she could just about hear her mom’s voice scolding her to always leave her phone in another room during the night or at least on her desk instead of right by her head.

  
There was a text from Kate, wishing her a good morning and reminding her the science assignment that was due the next day, _‘thank you, Kate,’_ and a missed call from Warren who probably just wanted to see if Max would be up for watching some weird movie he had come across and felt the need to share it with her. She made a mental note to catch up with the boy sometime during the day, maybe have lunch with him and Kate, since she was beginning to feel bad for ignoring him all the time. Finally getting up, she also made a mental note to ask Kate or maybe Dana if they knew what the day before’s fuss with Victoria was all about. If anyone other than Taylor knew, it would definitely be Dana. The girl, nice as she was, sure liked to gossip.  


Max debated with herself whether she could afford to skip showering that day, but a look in the mirror and a hand through her matted, tangled hair told her not to. It was still early, not even eight thirty yet, so she had more than enough time to shower, maybe even blow dry her hair, something she hardly ever did, not necessarily because she didn’t like it (she didn’t), but also because most of the times she washed her hair she was either very late for class and couldn’t waste any time in the luxury that was blow drying or because she did it very late at night and would rather sleep than wake up the entire floor with the obnoxious sound of her blow drier.  


The hallway was quiet as she exited her room and shut the door softly, shower supplies in hand. only a couple of people seemed to be up already. Dana was definitely one of them as her door was already open and quiet talking could be heard coming from inside the room; Max decided not to investigate just yet as she turned to head to the bathroom. She couldn’t help but let her eyes linger on Victoria’s door just a second more than she normally would, however. With a roll of her eyes and a shake of her head, Max groaned and finally reached the bathroom, the humidity in the air hitting her as soon as she opened the door.

* * *

 

For the first time in the last couple of months, Max made it to class with time to spare. No lying in bed, covered up to her head, refusing to get up, no running in the hallways to reach the classroom twenty minutes after the lecture had begun… This time she made it there even before most of the students. And it felt good. Kate was there already; Kate was always the first one to arrive, Max had noted. The brunette walked towards her friend who was busy scribbling something down on her notebook, too busy to notice her.  


“Hi,” Max greeted as she took a seat next to the blonde.  


Kate visibly jumped in surprise and let out a small yelp that made Max chuckle. “You scared me,” she laughed as she looked at the girl next to her with a smile on her face.  


“Sorry, I couldn’t help it,” she laughed again. “What are you doing?” she asked, her curiosity getting the better of her.  


“Oh, just… doodling, I guess? I saw a cute little squirrel on my way here,” Kate held up her notebook for Max to see, a small, proud smile adorning her lips. It always made her happy when she drew and it always made Max happy to see her friend smile like that.  


“It’s beautiful, Kate, it really is,” Max smiled. “I bet Samuel would love it too,” she added playfully, chuckling at her friend’s slightly confused expression. “Because Samuel loves squirrels,” she explained. “He’s kinda obsessed with them, it’s a little weird.”  


It was Kate’s turn to chuckle, “I’ll pay attention to that next time I see him.” The blonde laughed as she closed her notebook and put it in her bag. “The bell is about to ring,” she explained when she saw Max was about to ask her why she stopped drawing.  


“Oh, right, better get to my seat.”  


“You can sit here if you’d like.” Max stopped moving out of the chair, her butt hanging mid-air for a moment before she plopped back down. “No assigned seats means you can do that,” Kate giggled as she pulled out her world history textbook and Max followed suit.  


The class rolled by slowly with everyone taking notes and asking questions on that day’s subject, Max doing her best not to let herself get too distracted this time. Algebra was next, and, before Max knew, the bell signaling that lunch time was right around the corner finally rang. Monday really was one of the most boring days of the week, filled with classes the brunette cared little about.  


“Wanna go grab some lunch?” she asked the blonde who was sitting on the desk in front of hers. She was so happy that her and Kate shared almost all their classes; she couldn’t imagine what it would be like if she had no one to talk to for an entire day.  


Kate looked at her slightly surprised before she let a smile form on her lips and she nodded, putting her stuff carefully back in her bag. “It’s been a while since you asked me that question,” she commented as she stood up.  


“I know, I’m sorry… I promise I’ll be a better friend!”  


“Max, are you kidding me?” she laughed as they made their way out of the classroom together. “You have been more than a good friend, you’ve been amazing! Don’t sell yourself short, seriously.” They both giggled at the evident blush that made its way on Max’ face, the brunette relishing the feeling of happiness and relaxation that she finally felt.  


Conversation was always easy between the two friends. Bitching about life was something they both enjoyed doing, and it proved to be just the thing Max needed. Kate too, apparently, as the girl hadn’t laughed like that in months. They were in the middle of a discussion when Taylor and Courtney walked through the cafeteria doors having a discussion of their own; a seemingly heated one too.  


“I wonder what those two are so worked up about,” Warren placed his tray on the table across from Max and took a seat, his demeanor relaxed and cheery.  


“Didn’t take you for the gossiping type,” Max commented playfully, knowing, however, that she too wanted to find out what was going on in their little clique.  


“I’m not,” Warren defended weakly making both the girls chuckle.  


“Whatever it is, it’s none of our business,” Kate chimed in raising her shoulders.  


“Seems it’s at least one of us’ business,” Max commended quietly. “They’re coming this way,” she added.  


It was Taylor who approached first, Courtney seemed less than happy to be there. Nothing was said as she handed Max a folded piece of paper, eyed her knowingly for a couple of moments, and then walked away with Courtney in tow, asking why they had to bring the “stupid hipster” into this. Max didn’t quite catch Taylor’s reply as she turned her attention to the piece of paper in her hands. It wasn’t a note. If it was, Taylor would have just texted her, the girl was definitely no stranger to this. She slowly unfolded the piece of paper while trying to ignore the stares she was receiving from the other two people at the table.  


“ **Prescott heir found dead in mental hospital room.** ” Max paled. She could faintly hear her friends’ voices calling her name from somewhere in the distance, but she couldn’t focus on that. _‘This must have been what was up with Victoria last night…’_ she thought as her eyes scanned the rest of the article. Apparently, Nathan had wrapped his bedsheets around his neck in a makeshift noose and hang himself with it sometime late on Saturday night. Why Max was only now hearing about this was beyond weird. You would think someone would have taken it upon themselves to let her know that the person who killed her best friend was now also dead, but nothing of that sort had happened. On the bottom of the page the words “call me” were scribbled in what the girl assumed was Taylor’s handwriting, underlined and accentuated with three large exclamation points.  


Time started moving forward as Max remembered how to breathe again and she registered her friends’ worried faces looking at her questioningly. She cleared her throat and blinked to clear her vision as she hastily folded the piece of paper before shoving it in her bag and turning her attention back to the half-eaten food in front of her.  


“Um…” it was Warren the one who tried to break the awkwardness, albeit unsuccessfully.  


“Yeah…” Max sighed. For someone who always liked to mingle in other people’s lives, she was surprisingly private when it came to her own personal matters. “So…” she began once more. “I guess Victoria’s behavior yesterday makes sense now,” she said to Kate, the only person she had already spoken to about her kind of encounter with the queen bee of Blackwell. The blonde eyed her curiously but decided not to press the matter further and simply nodded. A couple of moments passed and Max quietly excused herself as she got up grabbing her bag and left, leaving her tray behind. She probably bumped into a few people on her way to the dorms, she could faintly remember muttering a half-hearted apology a couple of times, but it was all a blur in her mind.  


She reached the dorms what felt like two hours later though she knew it was only about five minutes. She was about to knock on Victoria’s door when she heard voices coming from inside the room. Max simply stood there for a few moments, trying to figure out what was going on inside the blonde girl’s room; the discussion didn’t sound all that pleasant and Victoria’s voice had adopted that somewhat annoying high pitch it usually would when she was upset about something. The brunette stood there for a little while longer, not realizing that the talking had ceased until the door in front of her swang open, revealing a very… un-Victoria-like Victoria. Max stared at the girl in front of her for a second, her eyes red and puffy, her hair a mess, her makeup blotchy, mascara running down her cheeks, and her phone clutched in her hand so tightly her knuckles had turned white.  


“What do you want, Shitfield?” Max winced, both because of the ’nickname’ Victoria had just used, and because of the rawness of her voice. “Came here to boast? Rub it in my face?”  


Max blinked in confusion, “what? N- no, I just… wanted to check up on you, that’s all.” True, she wasn’t actually planning on talking to Victoria just yet, but she really did want to make sure the other girl was doing okay. “I heard about Nathan…” she said, ignoring the “I bet you did” that came from the blonde. “I’m really sorry,” she offered. “I’m here to talk if you want to?” she cursed the uncertainty etched in her voice. Victoria was about to say something when the phone in her hand began to ring. She paled slightly when she glanced at the screen, her eyes briefly turning to look at Max before shaking her head and shutting the door. Her voice could still be heard as Max made her way to her room, the last thing that made it to her ears being Victoria arguing and then apologizing over and over again for something unknown to the young brunette.

* * *

 

Victoria sighed as she hung up the phone and plopped on her bed closing her eyes. She didn’t want Nathan dead, of course she didn’t; she wanted him cured. The boy needed help and she honestly thought he was getting it. Apparently, however, things never were as they seemed.  


She cursed herself again and again for being such a coward, for never visiting, never even calling. The only news she had of Nathan was what she would hear from his father on the rare times he would write to her or send her one of his infamous messages, blaming her for not being there for his son. And yet she knew, deep in her heart that she was the only one really there for him. He was like a brother to her; a very weird, very troubled, _very_ messed up brother. Then again, who wasn’t messed up? She certainly wasn’t one to talk, she was just as messed up as he was. Only she was able to hide it better. Her mask was simply stronger, his always had cracks on it.  


She hated the way things were. Hated the people around her, but most of all hated her own self. Oh, her therapist would have a field day once she talked to him about her thoughts and feelings. She cringed; she hated going to that place. He got paid to tell her that she should try more, be better, and then he would give her a bunch of prescription pills that were supposed to make her feel more relaxed, to take away her anxiety, her pain, to make her… numb, unfeeling. She hated that. It had never occurred to her just how many things she hated, how much she wanted to change; about herself, about everyone really. When she had become so bitter, she had no idea. She only knew that her mask had begun slipping away and that was something she couldn’t afford.

  
That- _bitch_ Max Caulfield, she was the one that started it all. She had to be all nice and cheery even when the only thing Victoria did was be mean to her, bully her, and called her names. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be; people weren’t supposed to be nice to those who had been mean to them.  


She moaned, feeling the beginnings of a headache drumming the sides of her head. She wanted to scream, she wanted to cry and she wanted to punch the world in the face. She also wanted to crawl into a ball and never have to interact with anyone ever again, but the constant ringing of her phone made it obvious that the latter was not going to happen anytime soon.  


The funeral… A feeling of dread formed deep in the pit of her stomach and she could feel an invisible weight on her shoulders; she had to get ready for the funeral. It wasn’t supposed to take place until the next morning, only two days after Nathan’s death, but she knew she had to figure out what she was going to wear, she couldn’t afford to leave that for the last minute. Her best friend was fucking dead and she was thinking about what clothes to wear so that her parents wouldn’t be on her case about that as well.  


She groaned loudly once more, despising everything and everyone around her. She was so fake and it all felt so surreal, like a strange dream. She didn’t want to go. She hated funerals and she had a feeling she was going to hate this one most of all. Not only because it was Nathan’s, the thought still felt foreign in her mind, but also because she knew just how phoney and pretentious his parents were going to be. She was never a big fan of the Prescotts and the way they treated their only son and she simply knew that seeing them at the funeral was only going to make her detest them even more. To be fair, the Prescotts were never huge fans of her, either. They used to be until they realized she was more interested in supporting their son and going along with him instead of talking her parents into merging their companies; or, better yet, talking them into selling the Chase Space to them. Those people could have all the power in the world and they would still want more. Honestly, Victoria couldn’t care less what Nathan’s family thought of her. She only cared about being there for their son and she had failed so miserably at that, nothing mattered anymore.  


She needed air, it felt like the entire room was closing in on her. The little orange bottle of pills laid half empty, forgotten on her bed. To think that only the morning before her biggest worry was for someone to find out about them, and now it was the least of her problems. Come to think of it, it wasn’t even a problem. She mentally slapped herself for her blatant stupidity as she exited the room, the door closing softly behind her. She heard a door opening as she made her way down the steps, followed by a hushed somewhat familiar whisper, but she couldn’t bring herself to care. It was getting too easy to simply ignore everything.  


“Yes, V. Keep at it and you’ll be fucking next,” she muttered as her eyes turned to the sky, the clouds dark and menacing, ready to fall on her and devour her whole. Not that she would mind that at all....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...? I'll be honest with you, guys, this definitely isn't my favourite chapter I've written. I don't know if it's because I've read it a bunch of times already, but something about it seems... kinda off. I dunno. Also, I wanted to write something lighter, happier if you will, I really did. But I can't escape the angst, I'm sorry! Hahah. Anyways, I still hope you liked it and are at least a little bit looking forward to the next chapter. Which, I assure you, won't take as long to be uploaded! Hopefully.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this took less than a month! I'm actually proud of that xD I kind of enjoyed writing this chapter a lot so I hope you guys enjoy reading it! Let me know what you think!  
> Also, a huuuge thanks to those of you who left kudos and who reviewed, thanks you awesome people!

Nathan’s funeral was nothing like Chloe’s. There was no feeling of familiarity to it, no sign that the person they were saying goodbye to belonged to a happy, loving family. It wasn’t for the lack of people, there were more people there than Nathan knew in his entire life; it was exactly because of how many people had attended. His father’s associates were there, people who only knew of Sean Prescott and his version of his son. Not the disturbed child in need of help and support, but the poster-child for wealth and privilege. The prodigy with the spotless record and the almost perfect GPO who got into Blackwell Academy with a full scholarship. That was Nathan Prescott, heir to the Prescott “throne”, not Nate. The Nate Victoria knew had deep-seated psychological problems, he was far from perfect and definitely far from what his parents wanted him to be.    
  


Victoria sat there, in the front row, right next to an empty seat that she was told had been reserved for Kristine, Nathan’s older sister, who had yet to show up.  _ ‘ _ If _ she shows up…’ _ she thought bitterly as she glanced at it and then turned her gaze to the rest of the church. Figured Nathan’s parents would have “reserved” a seat at church.    
  


Everything looked so sickeningly flawless, the girl felt as if she stood out like a sore thumb. Not that she hadn’t done her absolute best to look the part, whatever her part was supposed to be, but she was beyond certain that she was the only one there who knew that nothing in that family was perfect. And she felt that anyone who looked at her could sense it too. She cleared her throat awkwardly and tucked some hair behind her ear as she turned her attention back to what was going on in front of her.   
  


Focusing on Sean Prescott’s words proved to be harder than she expected. He was talking about how much he loved his son and how much he would be missed and Victoria found it really hard not to roll her eyes, groan in disgust or even get up and leave that place altogether.    
  


This wasn’t what Nathan would want. He wanted to be cremated and his ashes thrown from the lighthouse. He had told her that during one of the nights they spent together in her dorm room, just smoking and talking, sharing their demons and their darkest secrets. It was the same night that she had told him about her crush on the then new girl Rachel Amber and he had cried because there was finally someone who wouldn’t judge him for being attracted to guys as well as girls. And then she had cried because he had trusted her enough to share something that big and important with her. They had bonded over shitty parents and stolen childhoods and it hurt so much seeing him slip away more and more as each day went by.    
  


Before she knew it, everyone began rising from their seats and, soon enough, they were all headed to the burial grounds for a final goodbye to someone they didn’t even know. There was sadness in their eyes, but it was the kind you would feel when anyone this young would take their own life; it was obligatory.    
  


Victoria, being the only one who actually knew Nathan and also the only one of the boy’s friends who had been allowed by his parents to attend, knew she should probably make her way to the front, behind the Prescotts, but her feet were too heavy, her footsteps dragging her behind. She had wanted to say a few words in his memory, it was the least she could do, but the dirty look she had received from Sean Prescott had let her know that that was not going to happen.   
  


She let her mind wander once again to the only other funeral she had ever attended in her life only a few months before and she felt a fresh wave of sadness rushing over her. She suspected that one of the reasons she couldn’t stand Chloe was just how much loved the girl seemed to have been and still was. She didn’t have to be perfect for people to love her, didn’t have to overcompensate for anything, didn’t have to be something she wasn’t. She both hated and envied people who had the luxury to be themselves.   
  


“Hey,” she felt a hand on her shoulder that caused her to jump slightly in surprise. She turned around hastily at the sound of the familiar voice, her eyes growing wide and her mouth opening slightly in shock.   
  


“Kristine,” she whispered, her voice breaking slightly. “I wasn’t sure you’d come,” she continued in a hushed tone as she looked at the young woman in front of her in slight awe.   
  


“It’s my own brother’s funeral, Vic… Of course I’d come…” She softly wiped away a tear from Victoria’s cheek, making the younger girl curse softly. “It’s okay, your makeup isn’t ruined,” Kristine joked somewhat awkwardly in an attempt to lift the mood a little.   
  


Victoria chuckled despite herself. “I missed you,” she said, sincerity flooding her eyes as she touched Kristine’s hand that was still lingering on her cheek.    
  


“I’ve missed you too, dragonfly.” The sound of the old nickname made Victoria’s breath hitch in the back of her throat. Kristine was about to say something more when her eyes fell on something over the blonde’s shoulder making her stop and hastily pull her hand away, straightening her back. “Text me when you feel like it. We have a lot of catching up to do,” she stated simply as she slipped a small piece of paper in Victoria’s hand and walked away. The blonde turned around just in time to see Mr. Prescott looking at her with disgust and disapproval written all over his harsh features, but she couldn’t care less what the man thought of her. She was done caring the moment she had found out just what kind of person the man was and that was not going to change any time soon.    
  


Sighing softly, the blonde pulled out her phone and sent a text to the only other person she knew there. She had caught a glimpse of a familiar head of hair a while ago, but she couldn’t bring herself to look at her, let alone to go over and talk. A text was as good as anything. Plus, knowing the person, it was very likely she would end up coming to her anyway. She heard the incoming text sound of the phone a couple of seconds after she had hit the send button and she turned her head slightly towards its direction.   
  


Brown eyes quickly scanned the phone screen reading the message, and then looked around for the sender of the text. Victoria let a tiny smile appear on her lips as their eyes finally met and she received an awkward wave in return.   
  


“Hi,” the girl’s voice was even raspier now than what it usually was.    
  


“I didn’t expect to see you here,” Victoria commented quietly.   
  


“Yeah, uh… I hadn’t expected you to show up at Chloe’s funeral either so… I guess this makes us kinda even…” Max rubbed the back of her neck, silently wishing for the conversation to take a better, less painful turn.   
  


“What, are you paying a debt or something?” Victoria’s voice came out harsher than she expected; she apologized a second later.   
  


“Of course not, I wanted to be here. For Nathan… And for you…” she swallowed nervously. “I know that having to attend your best friend’s funeral can be really tough, I thought you might need someone to talk to,” she explained. “Or to blame…” she added quietly.    
  


“To blame?” Victoria squinted in confusion. “I don’t blame you, Max. Especially not you.”   
  


“But you do blame someone…” It was as much of a question as it was a realization.   
  


Victoria nodded faintly, “I blame his parents, yes. I blame myself, but not you… Never you.”   
  


It was Max’ turn to frown in confusion, “why would you- why would you blame yourself?”   
  


“Because, Max! Why do you blame yourself for what happened to Chloe?” Max’ breath hitched; she wasn’t expecting this kind of answer.   
  


“It’s not the same thing,” she muttered, her eyes downcast.   
  


“No, you’re right, it’s not,” bitterness was evident in the blonde girl’s voice. “You didn’t stand by while your best friend’s life went to shit. I did. I watched him day in and day out losing himself and I did nothing about it,” she took a deep breath and looked up in an attempt to stop the tears from escaping her eyes. She had promised herself she wasn’t going to cry. “I thought being there when he needed to talk or to vent or whatever was enough,” she continued with a sigh. “You didn’t have the chance to save Chloe, and I know that’s bad enough,” she had no idea how deeply her words were cutting Max. “But I had the chance to save Nate, and I fucking didn’t. I could have- I don’t know, reported him or something, I knew he was selling drugs to people in this hellhole, I could’ve stopped him. And you know what I did instead?” Silence. “Exactly. Nothing. God, I’m so stupid.” She turned her head away from Max, her eyes looking up once again. She wasn’t quick enough to stop a single, lone tear from spilling, however.   
  


Max could feel her head spin and her breath coming in short gasps; she could already sense the stampede of emotions running towards her. “You’re not stupid,” she mumbled, thankful that Victoria was still not looking at her so she couldn’t see the color draining from her face and her eyes suddenly growing unfocused and cloudy.    
  


She heard her classmate sniff quietly and her arm instinctively shot out, landing tenderly on the blonde’s shoulder. Victoria stiffened at the touch for a moment, but soon relaxed and turned her gaze to the shorter girl standing in front of her. She slowly, almost as if uncertain, placed her hand on top of Max’, enjoying the softness on her fingertips and was about to say something when-   
  


“Victoria.” Whoever was calling her did not sound happy. Victoria cursed under her breath and apologized softly to Max before turning around, her face betraying exactly how miserable she felt.   
  


“Mr. Prescott,” she greeted formally, her hands clasped in front of her and her back straight. Max had never met Sean Prescott before and she couldn’t help but thank her lucky star for spending most of her life ignoring the man’s existence.   
  


Sean Prescott was by no means an intimidating-looking man. He wasn’t particularly tall or muscular; not handsome or impressive in any way. Yet there was something about him, about his presence, that made a chill run through Max’ spine. Maybe it was the way he had called Victoria’s name. Maybe it was how Victoria’s attitude seemed to disappear completely in an instant when she saw him, or it could have been the way his small, beady eyes had scanned Max up and down or how disgusted his face looked and how harsh his tone sounded now that he was talking to Victoria.    
  


A few minutes passed when the conversation suddenly grew heated and Max did her best not to eavesdrop. She was rather unsuccessful, however, as the less than hushed voices easily reached her ears. She could hear Mr. Prescott blaming Victoria of caring only about herself, to which she clearly saw the girl trying to restrain herself, her knuckles white from how tightly she was clenching her fists. The blonde replied something to that that Max was unable to make out, but whatever it was, it caused both her and the man to turn and look at her. The frown that had immediately appeared on her face at the sight of Victoria’s apologetic look was quickly overshadowed by the strange feeling of dread Mr. Prescott’s gaze caused her. A second later, they both turned to look at each other once again as Max was left staring in confusion and worry. She wasn’t certain how much time passed after that, but it couldn’t have been more than a couple of minutes when she heard Victoria raise her voice suddenly before turning around and walking away, her head held high and her stride as proud as she could muster.   
  


“Meet me in my room at eleven. This is non-negotiable,” she muttered as she passed by the brunette, giving Max no time to reply or even to think about what she had just heard. The taller girl threw one last look of disgust over her shoulder at Sean Prescott and continued walking away, the loud clicking of her heels fading.    
  


Max had no time to relax as Mr. Prescott made his way towards her. The man audibly snorted at her before he too left, seemingly to talk to some of the people how were still there, leaving the young brunette to deal with the tangled, foggy mess that was her mind.  _ ‘What the fuck…?’ _

* * *

 

“Put this on.” She had no idea how or even why, but at precisely eleven o’clock that same night, Max had found herself knocking softly on Victoria’s door. Not only that, but Victoria had just thrown a dress in her face, one that looked way too tight and way out of her comfort zone. The blonde had mentioned something about the two going out, but she hadn’t said much else about it, something that left Max both intrigued and kind of worried.  
  


“Victoria…” she grabbed the dress from the floor and held it out in front of her.  _ ‘Nope.’ _ “Listen, if you need to talk about… everything, you know you can do that.” She carefully placed the dress on the bed and took a step away from it in an attempt to let Victoria know that she wasn’t actually planning on wearing it any time soon.   
  


Victoria let out an annoyed huff, “I don’t need to talk, I need to drink,” she stated as she grabbed something else from her closet. “And I’m not going to do that unless you get fucking ready so just put this on so we can go.” It was a shirt that landed on Max’ face this time followed by a skirt that she hadn’t seen the blonde wear before.  
 ****  
...  
  
Her hair was in soft, pretty waves and she was wearing makeup. Both courtesies of Victoria who had so skillfully made her look like a different version of herself. She wasn’t sure how she felt about it, but she definitely didn’t hate it. They left soon after the blonde had finished applying her own makeup. She looked flawless as ever and Max couldn’t help but stare if only for only half a second.  
  


They ended up leaving the campus grounds. With Victoria behind the wheel, Max had no clue what to expect. She had expected, or at least hoped, that they would stay on campus and they wouldn’t have to drive anywhere. True, she wasn’t aware of any Vortex Club parties going on currently, but she would never put it past Victoria or her posse to organize one in the last possible minute. Maybe in honor of Nathan’s memory… Yes, that seemed like something they would do. Max knew deep inside, however, that Victoria would never take her to such a party. If she had proven anything to the brunette, it was that, despite her best efforts, she was neither heartless nor insensitive. There was no way she would make her attend a party thrown in honor of the person who had killed her best friend.   
  


Max let her mind wander as she felt the cool air hit her face; she had her arm dangling outside of the window, enjoying the feeling of the wind around her fingers. It always brought back memories of road trips she had gone to with her parents. There were more memories that made their way in her mind this time, however. She wasn’t exactly certain if ‘memories’ was the best term to describe them since she was the only one remembering them, but it would have to do. Memories of her and Chloe in her beat down van driving to the blue-haired girl’s house for the first time after the incident in the school parking lot, them driving to the junkyard, them driving away from Blackwell that night they had broken in, both of them reeking of chlorine but neither caring in the slightest… Them reaching the bunker and, finally, them driving to the junkyard for the second and final time… So many memories she wished she could simply forget. She couldn’t imagine living the rest of her life remembering things that had never happened.  _ ‘But they did happen.’ _ She closed her eyes.  _ ‘They happened and they were real, everything was fucking real.’ _ She cursed herself for wishing that she could wake up in the morning and remember nothing of that cursed week. She would never want that, she would never want to forget Chloe even if that meant she would have to live the rest of her life in pain. It would fade away eventually, she hoped. One day she was going to think back and be able to smile at how happy Chloe seemed to be when they were together. She was never going to be able to forget what happened, but she didn’t mind; and she couldn’t believe that she had let such a thought enter her mind in the first place, even for just a second.   
  


“You okay, Maxine?” A firm hand shook her shoulder bringing her out of her thoughts.   
  


“Huh?”   
  


“We’re here.” The car had come to a stop in front of the only nightclub in Arcadia Bay. Max should have figured out that this was where they were going. “Are you okay? You spaced way out.” Victoria actually looked concerned.    
  


“I’m fine,” Max replied hastily, “just thinking I guess.”   
  


Victoria nodded slightly, not pressing the subject further. “Come on, then. There’s a bottle of Vodka in there with my name on it.” With that, she unbuckled her seatbelt and exited the car, leaving Max to do the same. This was not the brunette’s idea of fun but she knew they both could use some drinks after everything that had been going on.

* * *

 

They had danced; together and by themselves. Mostly together. And Max had enjoyed it, she knew that much. And they drank. They drank a whole fucking lot. They even took a selfie together at some point, but Max couldn’t remember much after that. At one point, they found themselves in the back of the club, a glass of Vodka in one hand and a joint in the other.  
  


Max could feel her mind growing hazy, the telltale signs of drunkenness setting in for good. She didn’t have much experience with drinking and her alcohol tolerance was definitely not as high as Victoria’s who had drunk triple the amount she had and was now beginning to feel the familiar and most welcome buzz. It was quieter out there, the two girls could listen to one another without having to scream in each other’s ear all the time. Not that they were saying much to begin with. It had to be more than twenty minutes since either of them opened her mouth to speak. The silence between them was easy and homey. Gone were the days Max would actively try to avoid being in Victoria’s presence in fear of being on the receiving end of one of the latter’s infamous verbal lashings. Victoria’s jabs, though still there, felt different now, friendly even.   
  


A few more minutes passed, and Max’ drink was left forgotten on the steps next to her. The dizziness had faded slightly and she was all of a sudden more aware of her surroundings. She didn’t mind too much as she was very well aware how bad she would end up feeling in the morning had she kept going. Victoria, on the other hand, showed no signs of stopping or even slowing down. She needed this, Max knew that, and Victoria always got what she needed.  From her place on the steps, Max silently observed the taller girl who was standing in front of her, her head tilted back a little and smoke coming slowly out of her mouth. She looked like a character from a movie with the light falling on her just right and the girl wished she could take a picture to capture the moment.   
  


“Take a picture, why don’t you? It will last longer.” Max froze. Victoria could read minds, there was no other explanation for this. There was a soft chuckle as the blonde made her way to the steps and took a seat next to Max offering her the half-burnt joint as she did so.    
  


“Sorry,” Max mumbled as she accepted the blunt. “I was just-”   
  


“Thinking, I know.” They both nodded. “Care to share? Or is it gonna make me blush?” It was not Victoria who ended up blushing.   
  


“N-no, what? No, I wasn’t thinking anything like that,” she stumbled upon her words.   
  


“Relax, Caulfield, I’m just teasing,” Victoria laughed a little before suddenly growing serious. “Listen… I wanted to thank you. You’ve been amazing and I know you didn’t have to. Coming to the funeral and then now coming here with me… It really means a lot. And I’m not only saying this because I’m drunk and high off my ass, you know. I really do mean it.” Victoria smiled and Max could have sworn she felt the wind getting knocked out of her. She was so distracted that she failed to notice the taller girl slowly moving in closer. The only thing that managed to pull her from her daydreams was the feeling of a soft, ever so cold pair lips upon her own.    
  


Red, flashing lights went off in Max’ mind as she stiffened, her back straight, her eyes wide open and her arms slightly raised, as if ready to push herself away. It was slow and timid but it felt so right. Before she knew it, her lips started moving of their own accord and she felt herself melting into the kiss. Things grew heated and Max felt Victoria’s tongue on her bottom lip. She didn’t even think about not opening her mouth and soon enough they were both fighting for dominance. Victoria let out a small moan as she suddenly pulled Max on top of her, their lips never separating. The thought of actually straddling Victoria Chase had never crossed Max’ mind before, but she had to admit it wasn’t as unwelcome as she once thought it was going to be. She felt a hand traveling up to her cheek and another making its way under her shirt. This was moving too fast.   
  


“You’re drunk,” Max whispered pulling her head away a little and she cringed internally by how turned on and needy she sounded.   
  


Victoria huffed, her breath filled with the smell of alcohol and cigarettes, “so?”   
  


“You don’t want this, Victoria,” Max tried reasoning with the girl whose right hand was now rubbing softly up and down her arm while her left rested on her cheek. She tried to ignore the heat pooling in the pit of her stomach as she half-heartedly pushed her classmate away.   
  


“I know what I want,” the blonde mumbled, her speech kind of slurred, but her eyes focused and determined.    
  


“Victoria please, you-” she didn’t have time to finish as the girl moved in for another kiss, already missing the contact. Max didn’t reciprocate this time, however. She felt Victoria hesitate after a few moments at the lack of response and she heard her curse quietly as she gently pushed Max off her.   
  


“Shit,” her voice came out muffled as she rubbed her face with her hands. “Fuck, sorry. I… I don’t know what I was thinking.” She reached to her side where she had left her still half-full glass and swallowed its contents in one go. “We should go,” she stated as she got up and dusted off her clothes. “It’s getting late, we have class tomorrow.” And just like that, all the walls that Victoria had let crumble were back up, even stronger than before. Max was left dumbfounded, staring at the blonde who was now digging through her purse for her car keys and cursing herself for making her feel bad about what she had done. While she found it amazing how quickly Victoria’s attitude had changed, she couldn’t blame her.    
  


The blonde walked back inside the club and made her way to the bar, leaving Max to push her way to her a few seconds later, just in time to see her downing a shot. She paid for it, probably leaving behind way more money than necessary from what Max saw, and hastily walked off again, this time towards the exit, ignoring the annoyed yells of the people she was pushing out of her way. She was about to enter her car when she felt a grip on her arm.   
  


“I’m driving,” Max simply stated and extended her arm out for Victoria to hand her the keys. “You just downed a glass of Vodka and a shot, I’m not letting you drive,” she insisted when the other girl showed to sign of even acknowledging her. Victoria let out a resigned and somewhat annoyed huff before shoving the keys into Max’ hand and walking to the passenger side door.   
  


The comfortable and familiar silence that was there before had vanished completely, making way for an awkward, heavy one that neither of the girls tried to break. Victoria spent the whole ride back to the dorms with her head pressed against the window, not sparing a single glance at Max whose eyes kept turning to her right, hoping to see even the slightest change in the girl’s demeanor. She gave up after a long while and forced herself to focus on the road. It was when they had reached the dorms and they were climbing up the stairs to their rooms that Max couldn’t take it anymore.    
  


“Look, I’m sorry,” she said, her voice low and apologetic and she heard Victoria’s draggy footsteps slow down. “I’m really sorry, I shouldn’t have shot you down like that…” she continued. “It’s not that I didn’t like it, cause I did, I really did. It’s just… I don’t wanna do it…” she saw Victoria stiffen. “Not like this. Not when we’re both drunk and so emotionally charged. I don’t want to be just a means for you to forget about your problems and I don’t want you to be the same for me... We’ve been through a whole fucking lot, Victoria, and chances are we’re gonna go through even more. I just don’t want us to be fuck buddies just for the sake of it. It doesn’t feel right…” She tried to explain as best she could. Victoria nodded and remained silent. For a couple of draining moments, Max was certain that this was going to be it, that Victoria was going to turn around go into her room and slam her door at Max’ face. And that was going to be the last time the two interacted in any way.   
  


“I get it,” the blonde mumbled a second later, putting an end to Max’ irrational thoughts. “I’m sorry for tonight, I know I shouldn’t have done what I did and I had no right to act this way.” She didn’t give Max a chance to speak. “I’ll see you around, I guess, Max.”  _ ‘Why does it always feel kinda weird when she calls me Max?’ _ “Night.”   
  
_ ‘Fuck…’ _ was the only thing in Max’ mind as she watched Victoria enter her room and close the door behind her before she turned around to unlock her own door, ready to face what seemed to be yet another sleepless night. And, this time, she only had herself to blame.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I hope you guys liked this! Sorry of the more angst, I couldn't help it xD Let me know what you thought!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *one eternity later*

**(Me @07:09): I fucked up.  
**

It was a simple text that said everything Victoria wanted to say and was more than enough to grant her a date with the one person she knew she could talk to at that moment. For someone so popular in the school hierarchy, Victoria really had very, _very_ few friends, that she could actually count using the fingers of one hand. And, given the most recent turn of events, she could probably count them using just one finger. Sure enough, not more than fifteen minutes later, there was a knock on her door, followed by a familiar voice, laced with concern.  


“What happened?” Taylor had all but barged into the room as soon as Victoria opened the door, her eyes looking at her filled with worry. “I was looking for you last night, but you weren’t here. Then I realized that Max wasn’t here either and I thought maybe you two were hanging out together that’s why I didn’t-”  


“Slow down, Tay. You’re giving me a headache and it’s already not a good day.” This only served to make Taylor’s worry grow as she plopped down on Victoria’s bed and eyed her best friend from head to toe.  


“How much did you have to drink?” she asked inquisitively. “I know a hangover when I see one,” she commented, making Victoria roll her eyes.  


“I lost count somewhere after six glasses, but that’s not the point. I’ve already taken like half a bottle of painkillers.” She moved to sit on her desk chair, a few feet away from her friend.  


Taylor made a mental note to check what kind of painkillers Victoria had taken. Last thing they needed was a trip to the emergency room. “Glasses of what?”   


After what had happened in the last couple of months, everyone had been just a little more cautious around alcohol and, before that night when Taylor had so stupidly slipped some shit in Victoria’s drink, Victoria had refrained from drinking altogether. She visibly cringed at that memory and cursed herself like she had done countless times already. She never got to apologize to Victoria about it and she had a feeling that, would the subject ever come up, the blonde would have some not so nice things to say to her. And she most definitely wouldn’t be in the wrong about it too.  


“Vodka.” Victoria’s voice drew her back to reality causing her to blink the haziness away from her eyes.  


“Straight?!” Taylor’s voice rose to uncomfortable levels for Victoria’s still sensitive ears.  


“Don’t be stupid, Taylor, when do I ever drink straight Vodka?” she huffed as she massaged the sides of her head, willing the pounding headache away.  


“I don’t know… It’s not every day that you go to your best friend’s funeral…” She didn’t have time to stop herself. “Shit. Too soon? Fuck, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. I’m- I’m gonna… Shut up now.” Taylor could have sworn she had begun to sweat.  


“My drinking habits is not why I messaged you, you know,” Victoria simply stated.  


“I figured as much. Those are hardly considered fucking up,” she cringed at her failed attempt to lighten the mood. Today was not her day. “What happened, babe? You know you can tell me.”  


“If word of this gets out you won’t be able to find a rock to hide under.” Victoria's voice lowered and she glared at Taylor who nodded hastily, assuring Victoria that if anyone found out about whatever she was going to say, it wouldn’t be from her.  


Beat. Beat. Beat. Deep breath. Beat. “I kissed Max.” It was quiet, a breathy whisper that would have gone unheard had Taylor not been paying close attention.  


She blinked. “What?”  


“I’m not repeating myself, it’s hard enough to say it once.”  


“I mean…” she cleared her throat a little awkwardly. “I know you two have been getting close lately, but- isn’t that a little _too_ close, Vic?”  


Victoria knew that Taylor had nothing against her liking girls. If anything, the two had “experimented” with each other on more than one occasions and neither was left unsatisfied. It wasn’t anything they had talked about before; the first time it had just sort of happened and they had rolled with it. After that, it was almost like an unspoken agreement between them that they would go to each other if there was too much pent-up frustration.  


“If I wanted your judgment, Taylor, I would have called Courtney over,” Victoria deadpanned, and Taylor knew things were serious.  


“How is that considered fucking up? She’s obviously into you too, you'd have to be blind to miss it,” she said, dropping the teasing attitude.  


“I know, I thought so too!” Victoria covered her face with her hands and tried not to let her frustration get to her.  


“But…?”  


“But she shot me down. She said she didn’t want this and she pushed me away,” she mumbled, her face still buried in her hands.  


“Did she though?” Taylor’s skeptical tone made Victoria look up and glare at her if only somewhat half-heartedly.  


“Were you there?”  


“No… But you do tend to overblow things sometimes…”  


Victoria let out an exasperated sigh. “Okay, maybe she didn’t exactly… push me away.” Taylor smirked. “She said she didn’t want this to be us using each other in order to forget about our fucked up lives.”  


“And she’s right, Vic. You don’t want to be someone’s- drug. And I bet Max doesn’t want that either. You should work on yourself before turning to someone else…”  


“When did _you_ become my fucking therapist?”  


“When you stopped going to yours.” Victoria’s eyes narrowed and Taylor readied herself for the verbal lashing that never came. Instead, Victoria let out a soft, dejected sigh, one that showed that she knew Taylor was right.   


“How could you know that?” she simply asked. When did this turn into an intervention?  


“Vic,” Taylor looked at the blonde as if what she was about to say was the most obvious thing in the world. “I’m your best friend.” It was. “I know you. I know when you’re happy because something good actually happened, and I know when you’re just pretending.” Victoria could think of about twenty places she would rather be at that moment, and this wasn’t one. “And I know the way you look after you visit your therapist. You have a… _gleam_ in your eyes, you seem hopeful and- Vic you haven’t looked like that in ages…” Victoria felt a lump forming in her throat which she unsuccessfully tried to swallow. “Look,” Taylor spoke again after a few moments of palpable silence. “It’s almost Christmas.” Victoria rolled her eyes. How could she have forgotten about that? “Why don’t you come home with me? We could go shopping, have sleepovers… You know, like we used to. Plus, my mom will be so happy to see you. She-”  


“No.” Victoria interrupted and saw Taylor visibly deflate. “I’m gonna be-” she caught herself at the last moment. _‘With Nathan.’_ She was supposed to be with Nathan, just like she had been for the past years. Not this time, however. And not any time after this one, unless- _‘Holy fuck, V, chill out.’_ “-here,” she finished. “I’m gonna be staying here.”  


“Alone?” Taylor asked before her mind had caught up to what Victoria had just said. “Wait, no, you can’t stay here, the dorms are closed during the Winter Break.”  


“I’m actually eligible for housing,” Victoria simply stated, still confused as to how her telling Taylor about kissing Max had suddenly turned into some kind of intervention directed at her.  


“You are? Well, I- I’m staying too. We can spend the break together, and we can watch movies and those weird anime shows you like to watch and I always say no!” The smile that had faded from Taylor’s lips a couple of minutes before came back a little brighter this time.  


Victoria sighed. She was really not up for this. “Don’t be stupid, Tay. You’re gonna go spend Christmas with your mother and you’ll tell her I said hi.” It wasn’t a suggestion. “I’ll still be here when you come back,” the girl’s voice was softer now. Almost as if she wanted to reassure Taylor that she wasn’t going anywhere.  


“I still don’t think this is a good idea…” She sighed when Victoria ignored her. “About Max… I don’t fucking know what goes on in that girl’s mind, I really don’t. But she was right about what she said. She’s obviously messed up, Vic, and… and so are you. And instead of using each other as crutches, you should help each other out. And maybe you’ll help one another in more ways than one,” she winked in an attempt to lighten the mood and Victoria groaned. She couldn’t help a small smile from making its way to her lips, however.  


“I hate it when you’re right,” she chuckled. Her tone was just a little lighter and more playful now and Taylor knew that perhaps everything would eventually be alright.  


“Wanna go eat breakfast with me?” she asked as she got up from the bed. It was still early, but not early enough to go back to sleep.   


“No, I think I’ll stay here for a bit.” Taylor nodded slowly.  


“I’ll… see you in class, then?” she asked with a smile.  


“Sure, yeah,” Victoria smiled back as she opened the door for her friend. The two kissed goodbye and Victoria sighed deeply as she shut the door behind Taylor. She let her hand linger on the doorknob for a moment longer, her forehead resting on the cold wood as she hastily wiped the sudden wetness from her cheeks.

* * *

Max groaned as her alarm clock started ringing obnoxiously right next to her head. There was a reason she was not a fan of alcohol and she was experiencing it right now. Her head was throbbing and her eyes wouldn’t open no matter how much she willed them to. She hadn’t even drunk all that much, her tolerance must have been lower than low.   


She blindly turned her alarm off and allowed herself a few more minutes of doing nothing before she had to get up. The day hadn’t even started yet, and she already couldn’t wait for it to be over. The one thing she was sort of grateful for after drinking, was the fact that her mind was numb enough during her sleep that she didn’t wake up drenched in sweat every half an hour. _‘But at what cost?’_ She groaned again as she threw the covers off herself and lazily swang her legs off the side of the bed. The thought of spending the entire day covered up to her eyes with a blanket seemed too appealing and she had to force herself to actually get up. And curse herself the moment she did. It didn’t seem that bad the night before. Hell, she was coherent enough to actually drive both herself and Victoria home, so it didn’t make sense that…   


_‘Victoria…’_ Max audibly groaned at the thought of the girl. In all her drunken haziness, she kind of hoped that her memories from that specific event would be blurry and unspecific. She hated that they were anything but. Was Victoria into her? Was _she_ into Victoria?  Truth was, she had never thought of the blonde girl as anything more than a possible friend. Yes, she was beginning to enjoy the time they spent together, and she would no longer dread the moment their paths would cross, but that didn’t mean anything. So why did that kiss feel so good? And why had Max felt so bad after what she had said?  


“Ugh, it’s too early for this shit…” she muttered as she groggily got up and made her way to her desk, in search for a forgotten bottle of water she had caught a glimpse of a couple of days ago and hadn’t bothered to either empty or refill. She took a cautious gulp and grimaced. Early morning water tasted about as bad as she felt right now. She sleepily gathered all her shower supplies and went to exit her room, her eyes falling on Victoria’s closed door. It was becoming a habit of hers now. Every time she would exit her room, no matter what time it was or whether she knew where her classmate was and what she was doing, Max’ eyes would always linger on her door for a second more than usual.

* * *

There was the usual commotion going on in the school grounds. People talking and laughing as they made their way to wherever they needed to be, some of them hanging out in the courtyard, waiting for their next class or, in quite a few cases, skipping their current one.  


Max bowed her head and clutched her books to her chest. She had first-period Photography Lab and she could already feel dread sipping into her body with every step she took closer to the classroom. For a moment, the whole Victoria predicament seemed insignificant as images flashed before her eyes of a timeline that had never come to be. She absolutely despised the fact that the mere sight of a camera could cause her mind to spiral like that, and she hated it even more that she was unable to stop it, no matter how hard she tried. The number of assignments she had avoided doing was simply ridiculous, and she knew that the professor wasn't going to be that lenient with her for much longer. She froze momentarily when she took in her surroundings; her feet had led her to her destination and she had been too lost in her head to realize. Something felt off this time, however, and it wasn’t the fact that she was late or that people were staring at her. Neither of those things was happening. No, she was in class before the professor, so that meant that the lesson hadn’t started yet. _‘One point for Max,’_ she thought as she slowly approached her seat and took a look around before placing her books and pencil case on her desk and taking a look around. She was in class and Victoria wasn’t. She squinted in confusion, her eyes falling to her left, to the seat the blonde girl usually occupied. Taylor was there, her eyes anxiously glued to the door. She would sit up every time someone entered only to deflate again when she would see that it wasn’t Victoria.  


About five minutes went by and Miss Hault finally walked inside, closing the door behind her. And still, Victoria was nowhere to be seen. Taylor threw a worried look at Max who simply raised her shoulders to show that she had no idea what was going on. _‘Maybe those drinks really did a number on her after all…’_ the brunette thought as she half paid attention to the lecture and scribbled down some unintelligible notes. She hated the sudden wave of relief that coursed through her body at the thought that maybe Victoria had been so drunk the night before that she had no memory of what had been done and said. Max would gladly take the easy way out of that situation any day.  


Suddenly, the words “Christmas break” were heard and Max’ ears perked up. She had been so preoccupied with the mess that was her life, she hadn’t even realized that this was their last week of classes before the Christmas vacation. She had no idea what she was going to do, she really didn’t feel like going back to Seattle, but, in all honesty, she had nowhere else to go. A change of scenery would probably be more helpful than Max cared to admit too. And seeing her parents didn’t sound half bad after everything that had been going on.   


She made a mental note to check for cheap flights to Seattle when she got back to her room and also call her parents to let them know she would be visiting them. The thought of her family made a small smile appear on her lips as she continued copying the notes from the board, this time a little more enthusiastically. She even made sure to use her nice handwriting, just in case she gathered enough courage during the day and stopped by Victoria’s room to give them to her. She thought back to the time Victoria was the one who had taken notes for her; it seemed like something that had happened ages ago. Everything was so different now, and yet strangely the same.   


_‘It’s funny how the roles can be reversed so easily…’_ Max was awakened from her thoughts when the sound of the bell echoed around the class. She sighed in relief as she packed up her stuff and threw a side glance towards Taylor who had all but run out of the room, most likely on her way to find out why Victoria had been absent.  


“So. Where were _you_ last night?” Max had seen Dana walking in and briefly chatting with Hayden, but she had no idea when she had made her way over to her. It was her playful voice coming from her right, however, the one that caused the girl to turn a soft shade of pink. She managed to get her blush under control before turning to face her friend.  


“What?”  


Dana chuckled amusedly. “I heard you coming in at like five in the morning, Max. You weren’t exactly being… quiet.”  


“Oh… Sorry,” Max mumbled, “I didn’t realize I woke you up.”  


“ _You_ didn’t,” she stated and Max knew right away where this was going. “You and _Victoria_ did.” She didn’t wink, but she might as well had. “What’s going on with you two anyways?”  


“Nothing, she just needed someone to talk to, that’s all.” The brunette tried her hardest to stop images from the night before from making their way into her mind.  


“Okay…” Dana didn’t seem fully convinced, but Max didn’t care. As long as the other girl stopped asking about it, she was happy. “Well, don’t tell Juliet I said this, but I don’t actually think Victoria is the evil bitch she wants everyone to think she is. I mean, she is a bitch, for sure, and that shit she pulled with me and Zach was beyond uncool. But if you stay on her good side, she seems kinda… okay, I guess.” Max nodded faintly, not knowing how else to respond. “Anyways, gotta run! Talk to you later, Max!” Max briefly wondered if the only reason Dana had come in the room was to praise Victoria and ask her about what was happening between them. She wouldn’t exactly put it past the girl to do so. With a shake of her still aching head, and wondering why everyone seemed to try and speak highly of the queen bee in front of her recently, she gathered all her stuff and made her way to Kate’s desk, offering her a small smile. The two leaving, soon after, on their way to their much-dreaded World History class.

* * *

Three classes. She shared three classes with Victoria on Mondays, and the blonde had been in none of them. If Max hadn’t been worried before, she definitely was now. She had used the lunch break to kind of take her mind off everything, hanging out with Kate always was a welcome distraction, after all, but that had lasted way less than she had hoped. And the fact that she didn’t share any more classes with Kate that day didn’t help in the slightest.  


By the time classes were over, she had made up her mind. Confident strides had led her right outside Victoria’s door, which was where she found herself now, her hand raised, ready to knock. One minute went by, then two, and Max hadn’t moved in the slightest. She could feel all her confidence and certainty washing away. The brunette clutched the notes she had been holding to her body as she slowly leaned in, her ear almost pressed against the door in an attempt to listen for any sound coming from inside. The silence was deafening.   


With a small groan and a deep breath, Max’ knuckles finally rapped on the door in front of her.  


“Go the fuck away,” the response was almost immediate and it made Max cringe.   


“Hey, i- it’s Max…” A soft ruffling coming from inside interrupted the heavy silence and Max’ eyes lit up slightly but nothing happened. She waited. And waited and then waited a little more, hoping all the while that something would happen. She was about to turn around and leave when she heard the telltale sound of keys turning in the lock.   


The door was suddenly open and a very annoyed-looking Victoria, with her arms crossed over her chest, was staring at her expectantly. Max felt small again, her mind traveling all the way back to her first interactions with the blonde.  


Victoria raised a perfect brow and Max swallowed nervously. “I uh… I got you notes,” she said trying to keep her voice strong and level. She hated that the taller girl still had that effect on her. And suddenly, just as the door had open in front of her, it slammed shut; leaving Max alone in the hallway, her mouth slightly agape and her hands still clutching the notes close to her chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise the next chapter will not take a month and a half to be up! That said, hope you guys liked this one! ^^ And a huge thanks to everyone who commented and gave kudos and bookmarked! You guys are awesome!!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit, this took me less than two weeks, what is this sorcery?!  
> (This chapter picks up right where the previous one left off)

It was about ten minutes later when Max heard a knock on her door. She was expecting Kate to stop by so the two could go over some notes for their English Lit class, but this particular knock was louder than Kate’s usually was and more persistent. So Max knew it couldn’t have been her. She had an idea of who it might be and, as she moved to open the door, she wished with all her might to be wrong. She wasn’t.

“Yes?” The surprised look on Max’ face faded as she did her best to copy Victoria’s attitude from before, surprising even herself by how cold and foreign her voice sounded in her ears.

If Victoria was taken aback by her tone, she did a good job at hiding it. “I’m here for the notes,” she simply stated, crossing her arms in front of her chest, her stance mirroring the one from ten minutes ago. Max sighed and rolled her eyes as she turned around and walked to her desk to grab the notes she had gathered during the day.

“Here,” she muttered as she handed everything to Victoria who mumbled a thanks in return and left without another word. Max sighed once again as she closed her door. She knew that what had happened the night before was going to affect Victoria just as it had affected herself, but she honestly hadn’t expected the blonde girl to do a complete one-eighty overnight.

The brunette plopped herself on her desk chair and buried her face in her hands. She briefly wondered if Victoria was bipolar, it would be an explanation that actually made some sense among all the craziness. She didn’t have enough time to think about that, however, the sound of someone knocking on her door once again interrupting her thoughts.

“It’s open,” she called out without bothering to get up this time. She knew it was Kate, the girl had never once been late for as long as Max knew her. The door creaked open and then softly shut and the brunette prepared herself for the question of concern she knew would come her way.

“What the fuck is this?” That wasn’t the question she expected, and that definitely was not Kate.

 _‘Crap. Crap, crap, crap,’_ Max’ head shot up, her eyes meeting the green ones of an aggravated Victoria. The brunette lowered her gaze to Victoria’s hands to see what she was talking about. She was holding the photography class notes, the Christmas Break assignment sitting on top of the papers. Max’ breath hitched in the back of her throat. She knew she was forgetting something, and now she was very well aware what it was.

“Miss Hault’s assignment?” she replied trying to keep her gaze on Victoria’s burning one, something that proved to be more difficult than she thought.

“I can see that. Why the fuck am I your stupid partner?” She knew the queen bee would be less than pleased to have to work with her, but she didn’t expect her to be that open about it. Then again, this was Victoria, after all…

“It wasn’t my choice if that’s where you’re getting at,” truth was, she would much rather be Kate’s partner any day. “Miss Hault assigned the teams,” she explained.

Victoria huffed. “If you think this is going to turn into one of those tropes where two people have to work together and they open up to each other and become friends, it’s not.”

“I… thought we were already friends? Kinda?” Max frowned in confusion.

“Well, we’re not.”

The shorter girl felt like she had just been slapped full-force. “Victoria… Maybe we should talk about this?” She wasn’t sure if she wanted to do that, but if not talking would lead to them being on worse term than the ones they started out on, she was not going to sit by and watch.

“I said and did all I had to say and do,” Victoria uttered. “Now we’re gonna ace this assignment, and you’re never going to speak to me again.” Max could have sworn the air had just been knocked out of her chest. She was about to say something when Victoria’s voice cut her off. “I’ll text you when we can meet up.” And with that, she turned around and left, leaving Max staring once again in complete confusion and… disappointment? Hopelessness? This felt like the proper word to describe what she was feeling. She couldn’t wait for Kate to get there so she could distract herself in the girl’s company.

* * *

**(Victoria @15:29): Meet me at the clearing behind the dorms in half an hour.  
  
**

_‘The what?’_ It hadn’t taken Victoria too long to text her. In all honesty, Max expected her to stall as long as possible, but apparently, the blonde had other plans. _‘She probably just wants to get this over with as quickly as possible,’_ Max sighed as she walked to her closet. She couldn’t help but feel just a little grateful that Victoria hadn’t wanted them to meet somewhere off campus, she was really not in the mood to commute anywhere.

Twenty minutes later, the brunette looked herself in the mirror and sighed. She was pale, her hair was not doing what she wanted it to do, and her clothes were boring and plain. She could practically hear Victoria’s judgy voice in her head. Groaning, she hastily tied her hair up in a high ponytail and threw on a heavy jacket over her sweater. Being December, she knew she had to layer her clothes for maximum heat. She stood there for a moment, in the middle of her room, willing her legs to start moving. Now, _she_ was the one stalling. A short moment later, after hyping herself up a little, she grabbed a notebook and her pencil case and left the room cursing the universe and its games under her breath.

Max had no idea there was a clearing behind the dorms. Which was odd, considering her natural tendency to explore everything around her. Turns out, the clearing was a little bit further than “behind the dorms” after all. She finally got there fifteen minutes later slightly out of breath and her cheeks flushed. She took a moment to compose herself before walking any further.

Victoria was already there, sitting on a log, her back turned to Max. She was a little hunched over and appeared to be jotting something down on a piece of paper. Her phone was laid on the log next to her, a familiar melody coming from the speaker and Max could hear Victoria humming along to it. It was a very different song from what the blonde would usually listen to, much too similar to something Max would enjoy and the girl suddenly found herself feeling a lot more at ease.

“I love this song,” she stated softly as she approached the sitting girl who jumped slightly in surprise and turned to glare at her. “Sorry,” she mumbled and Victoria rolled her eyes. She didn’t say a word as she turned to her side to silence her phone.

“You’re late.” Max wasn’t surprised to hear that.

“Took me a while to find this place,” she explained as she sat down on the log as far away from Victoria as she could. “It’s nice, though,” she commented as she took a look around.

“It’s our spot,” Victoria simply stated. “Mine, Tay’s and Courtney’s,” she added as an afterthought and Max nodded. She sighed as she waited for the blonde to speak. She hated how awkward things were between them once again. “I trust you went over the assignment?” Victoria asked after a few moments of heavy silence.

“Yeah,” Max nodded flipping through her notebook to get to where she had everything written down. “It shouldn’t be too hard,” she commented. “We can just each do our part and then meet up to combine them…”

“The purpose of a group project is to work with someone else, you know that, right?” Max rolled her eyes. She was only trying to make things easier for both of them, but apparently, Victoria was having none of it. “We have the entire winter break to work on this, so it shouldn’t be much of a problem. We’ll have time to meet up.”

“I uh… I’m kinda visiting my parents during the break…” Max’ voice sounded weak as if she was scared the other girl was going to yell at her for what she had just said. “Haven’t seen them in a while.” She flinched when Victoria glared at her.

“Are you serious?” she asked, obviously displeased by that turn of events and groaned as Max nodded.

“Your folks live in Seattle too, right? Aren’t you visiting? We could meet up there and work on it. It’ll be a nice change of scenery too…” the brunette wrecked her brain to find anything positive to say to show that this wasn’t necessarily going to be a bad deal.

“So not only will I have to spend most of my break with you, I’ll have to visit my parents too. Nice. Thanks a lot, Caulfield,” she really wasn’t trying to hide her vexation at all.

“Look, I know you’re not happy about this, Victoria, but there’s not much I can do to fix it. I told you we could work on separate sections, but you didn’t like that either so… So just suck it up and do it, okay?” Max was surprised at herself and the resolve in her voice. Victoria simply blinked. “I know you're still… _mad_ at me for what happened, but you know what, Victoria? You have no fucking right to act like this! I can't fucking compete with you, I really can't. How can you be so warm and inviting one moment and such a bitch the next?! You told me to go see a psychologist once, remember that? I'm not the one who needs professional help here. I don't know what your deal is, but I have my own shit to deal with too, you know. I was willing to be there for you, though. I _wanted_ to be there, I wanted to help you and- and I wanted to- Ugh!” She groaned in frustration and took a deep breath in an attempt to calm herself. “Look, we have four days of classes left before the break. That means you have four days to work out what it is you want from this. Whether you come to Seattle or not, I honestly don't care. I _can't_ care right now. Just make up your mind and don't talk to me before then.” And with that, Max gathered up her stuff and left, throwing one last glance over her shoulder to Victoria who sat there unmoving, her eyes gleaming with tears that she refused to let fall.

* * *

Max refused to feel like shit. Or at least she tried to. It had been three days since her confrontation with Victoria, and the blonde hadn't even looked at her until then. She would always act as if Max didn't exist and the girl didn't know which was worse; being on the receiving end of Victoria's bullying or not being acknowledged at all by her. So yeah, Max refused to feel like shit. The only problem was that she was failing miserably at it.

It was right after lunch when she finally made up an excuse for her to retreat back to her room. Kate's company was pleasant and it never failed to take her mind off things, but she wanted a break, she _needed_ it. She knew that Victoria needed to hear everything she had told her and maybe even more, but she wasn't exactly planning on it to happen this way.

She whimpered as she walked in her room and slammed the door shut. She wanted to scream and cry and then scream some more. With a huff, she managed to compose herself enough to plop on her chair and turn her laptop on. She had to check for tickets, she had avoided doing so in hopes Victoria would come to her and let her know she was going to travel with her. Because, despite everything, a part of her still hoped that Victoria would choose to do that.

She had spent about half an hour aimlessly browsing the web, getting lost in shitty sites that offered nothing of substance, the tab where she had the airline website opened was left forgotten on her browser for the past twenty-five minutes. She was about to click on yet another video and continue her journey down the YouTube rabbit hole when her phone lit up. Her eyes did the same if only for a second. The light faded when she picked up her phone and saw it was only an email. She was about to put the device back down thinking the email to be spam, but something caught her eye. Why would a spam email be titled “Ticket Order Confirmation”? She hastily tapped on the notification, her curiosity getting the better of her, and she stared.

“What the fuck?” No matter how many times she blinked, the words in front of her didn't change. They remained the same even after she opened up her email on a new tab on her laptop, foolishly thinking a bigger screen would help her see what was actually written. Nope. Her eyes hadn't deceived her. Right there, on the screen in front of her, written in big, bold letters was indeed a ticket confirmation, urging her to click on a link in order to view her ticket. To Seattle. In first class. Max blinked once again.

Only a handful of people knew that she was going to Seattle over the break, and only one of them could actually afford to do something like this. And it was the same person Max would never expect to do it. Especially after what had gone down between them those three days before. A surge of questions swarm her mind, and yet the only thing that managed to come out of her mouth was a confused “what the fuck” followed by more blinking.

 ******_(Me @13:56): ??_**

It was the only thing Max could think of to send. And, quite frankly, it described her feelings to a tee. Her phone vibrated and she seriously thought that Victoria was always waiting over her own for a text to come. She couldn’t help but feel just a little bit nice at the thought.

**(Victoria @13:57): You said I had four days to think about it. Turns out, I only needed three. Meet me at the baggage check-in point at four on Saturday.  
  
**

Victoria’s tone was cold even through text and Max resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Another incoming text a second after the first one, however, was enough for her to do so after all. She still hadn’t decided whether she liked that the blonde would always send multiple texts one after the other or she found it completely needless and annoying.

**(Victoria @13:57): Surprised you figured out so quickly it was me.  
  
**

Max groaned and placed her phone on her desk without replying. No more texts came that day or the day after. In fact, she hadn’t even seen Victoria at all those couple of days, and she was both grateful and kind of worried about it. That meant that the two’s first interaction after what had gone down in that clearing was going to be on a plane trip to Seattle. And this was more than enough to make Max’ stomach twist with worry. And maybe a little bit of anticipation, but she really couldn’t bring herself to think about that right now.

* * *

It was awkward. So, _so_ awkward. They had met at the airport like Victoria had so nicely demanded, Max not even daring to ask her if she wanted to go there together. Victoria, ever the punctual one, had arrived there much earlier than needed and had already checked her bags in when Max got there looking disheveled and slightly out of breath. She ignored the brunette’s half-hearted excuse about meeting traffic on the way with a roll of her eyes, knowing that there was only so much traffic when traveling by train. Truth was, Max had simply, once again, miscalculated the amount of time she was going to be needing. That, and she was still not a hundred percent certain she actually wanted to be there. But she would rather Victoria not know the latter.

“We could have travelled coach, it’s only a forty-minute trip…” Max had mumbled while waiting for her carry on luggage to go through the security check. Victoria had ignored her, and now the two were sitting next to each other, about to take off. Victoria had, surprisingly, let Max take the window seat, commenting on how ‘a hipster like her would probably want to take pictures out of it’.

“So, uh… Thanks for doing this, Victoria… I really do appreciate it,” Max tried to break the silence that had fallen around them, causing the girl next to her to put her phone down and remove one of her earphones.

“It’s not like you gave me much of a choice, Caulfield,” came the cold reply, bringing the conversation closer to the one thing Max would love to avoid talking about. She wasn’t sorry for what she had told Victoria, and she wasn’t about to take any of it back; but she would rather for her trip to be as pleasant as possible, instead of dipped in awkwardness and heavy silences.

If Victoria was going to use one word to describe herself at that moment, she was going to use ‘whipped’. Victoria Chase was so fucking whipped by Max Caulfield, it wasn’t even funny anymore.

Her frustrated groan was timed perfectly with the telltale sounds Max’ camera made every time the girl snapped a picture, so it was easy to cover it up by pretended she was annoyed at the brunette next to her. Max, on the other hand, couldn’t bring herself to care that Victoria was, apparently, less than happy to be sitting there. She was too busy being completely shocked by what had just happened.  She had taken a picture. After months of her stomach twisting and her mind bringing forth images she wished she could forget, she had finally pressed the shutter hard enough to take a picture. Of Victoria Chase. _‘Shit.’_

It suddenly clicked in Victoria's mind. “That was the first picture you snapped since… then, wasn’t it?” The blonde’s voice was soft and quiet, nothing like what Max expected it to be and she found herself nodding slightly. She wanted to ask how Victoria could know that, but her voice wouldn’t come out of her mouth. Lucky for her, the queen bee seemed to possess mind-reading powers, Max was becoming more and more convinced of that as time went by. “I know you haven’t handed in any of the assignments and you haven’t been walking around with your stupid hipster camera in hand in ages. Honestly, it was kinda unsettling. It’s good to see you coming back, Lamefield.” For some reason, Max found herself smiling at the name she had just been called. Victoria’s tone had a teasing quality about it, it lacked the bite it usually had. Truth be told, her words felt more like friendly banter if anything else; and Max could get used to that. The brunette had just settled down back in her seat when Victoria’s voice came again, her head never once turning to face the girl next to her: “I’m… happy I was the subject of your first, post shitshow picture.” The smile in her voice was painfully obvious, no matter how hard she tried to hide it. “Maybe your taste isn’t unsalvageable after all,” she added, hoping that the faint pink color she knew her cheeks had taken as soon as she heard the faint giggle from her right was not all that visible.

They didn’t talk at all after that. Victoria went back to playing with her phone, albeit this time she was wearing only one earphone, in case Max wanted to say something, and Max had leaned her head back on her seat, watching the clouds go by as they flew through and past them. They were back to the somewhat comfortable, easy silence once again, however, and that was a nice change of pace. They both knew they would have to talk sooner or later. Both about what had happened that night at the club and what had been said those five days ago. Of course, neither of them was willing to ruin the calmness of the moment; it would have to happen, just not yet. They both shuddered involuntarily as the same exact thought passed through their minds.

Much too soon, the plane landed and it was time for everyone to disembark. Max had no idea what they were going to be doing now that they were actually there. She was going to her parents; in fact, knowing them, they were probably already waiting for her at the gate, but she had no idea what Victoria’s plans were. She had seemed less than happy to be spending time with her family, and Max could suddenly feel a pang of guilt in the pit of her stomach. Had Victoria really done this for her even though she really didn’t want to? Was that project so important to her? In reality, the brunette knew it wasn’t so much for the project itself, rather than the person she had to do said project with. In her own, quite Victoria-like way, Victoria had made it possible for them to spend more time together than they ever had before, and Max didn’t know if she had to be impressed or worried by that turn of events.

They both walked to the baggage carousel, Max struggling slightly to keep up with Victoria’s wider strides. She sighed as they waited there, causing Victoria to look at her questioningly.

“So… you decided to see your parents after all?” the brunette asked awkwardly after a moment of them silently exchanging looks.

Victoria huffed, “it wasn’t a… decision, exactly. More of an obligation.” Max knew she should probably be offended by that. She never meant to make Victoria do something against her will.

“I never said you had to come along, you know,” she stated, her tone somewhat harsh and annoyed. The blonde didn't pay it much mind, however.

“Who said I was coming for you, Shitfield? My parents are hosting a young artists event at the Gallery and they wanted me there to help.” It was only half the truth. “Probably have me check the tickets or serve drinks, to be honest,” she muttered bitterly as she took a step forward and grabbed her bag from the carousel. She noticed Max moving forward, her arm reaching out as her suitcase appeared shortly after, so she made a point to grab hers as well.

“Thanks,” was all Max said before letting silence take over once more. She wanted to say something about the new information she had just learned, but she knew it probably wasn’t such a good idea. She could imagine that having her own parents host a young artist exhibit at their own, very famous Gallery and not include her wasn’t something Victoria would want to be brought up.

They silently walked to the exit and were about to say their goodbyes when Max parents approached them, huge grins plastered upon their faces.

“I should go,” Victoria said in a quiet voice and was just about to do so when a cheery male voice stopped her.

“Nonsense!” She assumed the man was Max’ father, she could definitely see the resemblance. Max let out an embarrassed sigh.

“Victoria, this is my dad, dad this is Victoria…” she introduced them half-heartedly, hoping there was going to be no suggestion of Victoria coming over to their house.

“Hello, sir,” Victoria greeted politely, reaching out for a handshake. She stiffened as the man grabbed her hand tightly, but managed to hide it from everyone. Well, almost everyone.

“Please, call me Ryan,” the man said as he shook the girl’s hand. “This is my wife, Vanessa,” he nodded towards the woman standing next to him, a polite, relaxed smile on her face. She thought Max looked like her father, but now she wasn’t sure. The woman in front of her looked just like an older version of her classmate.

“M’am,” Victoria nodded towards her with a small, polite smile on her face. She sure knew how to make a good impression if she wanted to.

“So you’re the infamous Victoria,” the woman laughed. “We’ve heard a lot about you.”

“Mom…” Max whined as her eyes widened and her face turned bright red. She should have known something like this was going to happen. The blonde girl simply glanced at Max and smiled, albeit a little awkwardly.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you both,” she said. “I should get going now, though. I’m sure my parents are waiting for me at home.” They weren’t. The two nodded and relief washed over Max’ features.

“Be sure to drop by for dinner any time you want, I’m sure Maxie here would love to have you,” Ryan laughed, firmly squeezing Max to his side. She also should have known that they wouldn’t let Victoria leave that easily.

“Sorry…” the brunette mouthed helplessly as her classmate chuckled softly and turned around to leave.

“I like her!” Ryan declared as he picked up Max’ luggage with one hand, the other still holding his daughter close to him. Vanessa chuckled from somewhere to the right, and Max could feel more heat rushing up to her face. In all honesty, no matter how embarrassing they were, she had truly missed her parents a whole lot.

* * *

The house was big, cold… And empty. Victoria sighed as she shut the door behind her and placed her suitcases right next to it. She knew her parents were at the Gallery, and she knew she had to go there as well if she wanted to stay at least somewhat on their good side.

She hadn’t lied when she had told Max that she was needed at the Gallery. Just like she hadn’t lied when she accidentally let it slip that she was probably going to be greeting the visitors at the door or serving them drinks. Or maybe even both. She was, however, eternally grateful that the brunette had decided not to press the matter.

Sighing once again, she made her way upstairs to her room, already making a schedule for herself in her mind. Unpack, have a shower, grab something to eat, go to the Gallery, probably get yelled at. Yeah, that sounded about right.

The water ended up being cold, the fridge empty, and her car nowhere to be found. So Victoria made it to the Gallery frozen, hungry and more than an hour late. Not that they had told her what time she needed to be there, but her parents knew what time the plane would land and how long it would take their daughter to go from the house to the Gallery. She shuddered as she walked through the huge glass doors and she wasn’t sure if it was because it was actually colder in there, or because she would simply rather be anywhere else and her body was making that clear for her.

Her father’s dark eyes turned to look at her as she walked up to him and her mother.

“Welcome back Victoria,” he said coldly as she slowly approached them.

“Father,” she greeted curtly, her hands clasped in front her. “Mother,” she nodded. She hated how they made her feel.

“You were supposed to be here an hour ago,” her mother stated briefly glancing at her before returning to her talk with one of the workers who were setting up the exhibition.

“Some things came up, I’m here now,” the blonde rolled her eyes.

Her father, who had been leaning over a table with some papers on it until then, stood up straight to face her, a stern look on his face. “This attitude better be gone by tomorrow.” Victoria bit the inside of her cheek in order to stop herself from rolling her eyes again.

“What am I doing here?” she asked after a moment. “I have a project I’d rath- I have to work on.” She was about to say she would rather work on her assignment with stupid Max Caulfield than be with her parents, but she knew better. It wasn’t like the Chases were a tight family, quite the opposite in fact. But whatever they could do to keep Victoria where they could see her, they more than did it.

“As I’m sure you father already explained on the phone, sweetheart,” the blonde shuddered internally at the use of a pet name that, if used by anyone else would be an honest term of endearment, “we need you here to help with the exhibition. Surely that… project of yours can wait.”

“It’s a photography project,” she explained. “You always say I have to work harder and get better, how am I supposed to do that if I don’t do my assignments? Besides,” she added as an afterthought. “I’m not working on it alone. I’d hate to drag somebody else’s grade down along with mine.” _‘Caulfield’s grade doesn’t need any help doing that. It could definitely use a boost to the opposite direction, though…’_

“You know how ruthless and unforgiving the real world is, Victoria. Help someone climb and they’ll step all over you on their way up. The only person you have an obligation to help is yourself.” She absolutely hated it that her parents had drilled that way of thinking into her brain. They weren’t wrong per se, she would never say that, she had seen how the art world operated. But the whole “eat or be eaten” mentality was toxic, to say the least.

“Max would rather fall down so that others could climb than step over them,” she stated before she could stop herself and now she wished she had never opened her mouth in the first place. Her father’s eyes gleamed and her mother finally turned to face her.

"So it’s all about this Max fella, isn’t it?” the man snickered. “And is he your classmate? I don’t recall you ever mentioning a Max before.” Victoria felt disgusted.

“It’s not like I ever talk to you about my classmates,” she mentioned. “You never listened when I did so why do it?” She was getting them riled up and she kind of liked it too. She knew they would probably end up yelling at her but, at this point, she would welcome any form of interaction with them that showed they were not pre-programmed androids. She found that thought amusing.

“I suppose it is a pleasant change, however, Victoria,” came her mother’s voice and the girl knew right away where this was going. “I’m very glad to hear you’ve left those… perverted thoughts behind you and going after a guy now, dear.” Victoria could have sworn her eye twitched from the anger she was feeling. “I told you you just needed to be with a man to get back on the right path, didn’t I?” the woman was smiling.

“You did,” the blonde said through gritted teeth. It was physically painful for her to agree with the words that were coming from her mother’s lips. Maybe riling them up wasn’t such a great idea after all. “I’m going back home. It seems my presence here isn’t necessary yet. I’ll be back tomorrow before the opening.” And with that, Victoria simply turned around and left, not giving her parents the chance to say anything further and wondering why they couldn’t be more like Shitfield’s parents who seemed to genuinely love and care and support her, no matter what she did. She groaned. She didn’t need those thoughts right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bruh, this is my longest chapter to date! That's only cause I had no idea where to cut it, tbh... I still hope you guys enjoyed it! And thank you so so much everyone who commented and left kudos, there were about 30 new kudos in like 12 days, holy shit you guys!! Thank you ^^


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ANGST!  
> (also, thank you so much for commenting and the kudos, holy crap you guys!)  
> Oh! Also, there's a nod to the Love Is Strange game in here only cause I loved that line too much and wanted to use it somewhere. It's pretty obvious what line it is, but, in case you haven't played it, it has to do with pastry xD

Max felt… happy. She woke up with a smile on her face and she had no idea how long it had been since the last time that had happened. The smell of freshly-made waffles immediately assaulted her nose and her smile grew. She had forgotten how absolutely wonderful it was to be home and she wasn't even gone that long.

For the first time in a long while, she got out of bed without groaning and without dreading the day ahead. She didn’t bother changing out of her pajamas as she made her way downstairs, her nose leading her straight to the kitchen. She smiled when she saw a bowl of cereal in her designated spot on the table. It was as if nothing had changed. She sleepily greeted her mother as she grabbed the milk carton and sat down.

“Well, someone’s up early,” the woman joked as she placed a plate of waffles in the center of the kitchen table. “Didn’t think you’d be up for another couple of hours, you usually like your sleep too much.” Max rolled her eyes and chuckled.

“The smell woke me up,” she informed pouring some milk into the bowl. The warmth of the house, the soft light coming in through the kitchen window, the mouth-watering smell, the smile on her mother’s lips and the love in her eyes as she looked at her… Everything served to make Max feel as if a burden had been lifted from her chest. _‘And to think I wasn’t even going to come,’_ she thought as she swallowed a mouthful of milk and cereal.

“There’s my Maximus!” came a male voice suddenly from somewhere behind her and it made her freeze if only for a second. No one called her Maximus. Well… almost no one. The brunette blinked the thoughts away as she turned to face her father’s grinning face. “What kind of miracle took place for you to be up at this ungodly hour?” he joked and ruffled his daughter’s hair as he took a seat next to her.

She wasn’t certain if joking and laughing were her parent’s ways of making sure she was okay, but she couldn’t help being grateful for their approach. She didn’t know if she would be able to handle an actual heart-to-heart, even if she knew, deep down, that she needed it.

“So what’s the plan for today?” Vanessa asked as she too took a seat at the table. Max hadn’t realized until now just how much she had missed their family time. It felt as if it had been years since they were last all together, despite it being only a few months.

“Dunno,” Max raised her shoulders as she chewed. “I figured I could hang out with you guys a little. And then I might call Victoria to work on our project or something, we’ll see.” She knew mentioning Victoria’s name was a mistake the second the word left her mouth.

“So… This Victoria is pretty, isn’t she?” came her father’s knowing voice, making her heart beat just a little faster.

“Sure, I guess. If you’re into cool, high maintenance mean girls,” she mumbled what was probably the wrong thing to say as both her parents’ eyes turned to look at her confused.

“Now, now, Maxie. I thought she was really nice. And polite,” her father said and her mother nodded in agreement. Max knew she shouldn’t be bashing Victoria. Especially after everything that had been going on between the two and how the blonde girl was obviously making a big effort to get on her good side. Not that she ever was on her bad side per se. Just on her… don’t really care side.

“And if she really were that mean, I don’t think you would agree to hang out with her, would you? You’ve only been gone for three months, there’s only so much that can be different about you,” Vanessa chuckled, making Max roll her eyes and turn her full attention to the food in front of her.

It was only about two minutes later when her father’s voice broke through the silence once again. “I almost forgot!” he exclaimed as he got up from his chair and made his way to the living room. He returned a couple of moments later, holding what seemed to be a brochure about something. “Some woman gave this to me the other day and I thought you might be interested,” he said smiling as he handed what he was holding to Max. It was a brochure for a photography exhibit at…

“The Chase Space…” Max mumbled as her eyes ran over the booklet in her hands.

“Yeah, it’s for young photographers, I figured you could go take a look at what your fellow youngsters-” he ignored the eye roll he received from both his wife and daughter “-are up to.”

Vanessa nodded with a smile on her face, “you can take Victoria with you, too. If she’s anything like you, I’m sure she’ll love it.”

Max cringed. “I don’t think she’ll need me to take her, mom. She’ll… kinda already be there, I’m pretty sure.” Both her parents looked at her confused. “Her uh… Well, her parents kinda like own the place,” she explained awkwardly, unable to understand the uncomfortable feeling that had suddenly settled in her chest.

“Oh…” was all either of her parents said before going back to their breakfast, and Max didn’t know if this was a good thing or not.

They didn’t say much for the remainder of breakfast. Max checked her phone absentmindedly once or twice feeling just a little bit disappointed she hadn’t heard anything from Victoria yet, not that she really expected to, while her parent read the paper and watched TV.

“So… What are you guys doing today?” Max spoke up again a few minutes later, her plate and bowl now empty in front of her. It had been a while she had enjoyed a breakfast like that. “I figured we could go down to Pike Place Market, walk around, have lunch. It’s been a while since we’ve been there.”

“You better go get dressed then, cause I’m not driving down there after twelve.” Max nodded hastily as she got up from the table, she paused briefly to pick up her plates and glass after receiving a look from her mother and dashed off to her room. “And bring money with you!” Ryan yelled after her. “Last time we went there, I got back eighty dollars poorer!” He chuckled as he heard Max do the same.

She had just managed to take her shirt off when she heard her phone vibrate and she saw the screen light up, Victoria’s name flashing on it as an incoming text made itself known. Truth be told, she didn’t expect Victoria to be the one to text first. She attributed the shiver that she felt running down her spine to the fact that she was standing there in her bra mid-December, but she knew that that wasn’t the only reason her skin tingled.

**(Victoria @10:36): Project tomorrow noon? I’ll be busy ‘till then.  
**   


Max felt herself deflate slightly. She hadn’t realized how excited she was to potentially hang out with Victoria later that day.

 ****_**(Me @10:37): Yeah sure**_  


**(Victoria @10:38): I’ll text you the time and place.  
**   


The reply came seconds later like it always did and Max smiled.

 ****_**(Me @10:39): Kay, coolio ^^**_  


The brunette facepalmed so hard, she thought for sure her parents must have heard it. “Coolio?” she groaned in frustration as a blush crept to her face. “Who the fuck says ‘ _coolio_ ’?!” She let herself fall forward on her bed and buried her head in her pillow. Victoria didn’t reply after that and Max could hardly blame her. Max could almost imagine her blank stare as she received the text and, had she not been so embarrassed, she would have found it hilarious.

She had no idea how long she stayed there, lying face down on her bed, wishing she could disappear. It was her mother’s voice calling for her that finally snapped her out of her thoughts and made her move again. Embarrassed or not, she was not about to miss the trip to Pike Place Market. She loved that place too much.

* * *

 

“Victoria.” Her head snapped up to the direction of the voice. Her hand was on its way to fish her phone out of her pocket, and she could tell her father was not happy to see that. He only needed to nod his head for Victoria to know what he meant. ‘Put your phone away or suffer the consequences.’ The blonde rolled her eyes before shoving the device back in her pocket and grumbled. She straightened her back and released a sigh as she stood there, waiting to be told what to do.

Her parents hadn’t returned the night before by the time she went to bed, and they had already left when she woke up. She had spent the day chatting with Taylor and trying to relax, but her house wasn’t such an easy place to do so. She had ended up lying in bed most of the time, aimlessly browsing the internet and listening to music in an attempt to drown out the deafening silence that was all around her. That was the second time she was seeing them since her arrival and it was already two times too many.

She had briefly been informed on what her “duties” were going to be and, like she had already figured out herself, she was only there to check people's invitations in case they had been personally invited by the Chase family -she would be the first to admit that she was quite excited to meet some of the more important people in the industry her parents had undoubtedly invited, like they had done all the previous times there was an event of some sort in the Gallery- and she would then have to walk around the exhibition and practically make a fool of herself by serving people drinks.

Victoria thanked whoever was up there that they hadn't given her a waitress outfit to wear. Instead, she had been presented with four equally un-Victoria like dresses, one of which she would have to choose for the opening. She loved getting dolled up and going out, she really did, but not in the way her parents wanted her to.

A few more minutes passed with her standing there by herself before she had had enough. With a huff, she threw on her coat and headed out with a mumbled “I’ll be right back” to no one in particular. She wanted- no, _needed_ a smoke.

Stepping outside, she let the cold wash over her, taking away the smell of the Gallery. Ever since she was little, she always thought that that place had a particular smell, one that would never fail to wake up dormant parts of her mind. Leaning back against the sidewall, she dug into her jacket pockets for a half-heartedly hidden packet of cigarettes. Her parents had caught her smoking once a few years ago and things had not ended up well for her. She had promised to quit then, but she never did. She pulled out her phone next. Mostly to check the time, but also because there was a nagging thought in the back of her mind that she had to talk to Max. She hated that part of her brain that made her want to spend time with her daw-eyed classmate and, every day, the universe seemed to be working extra hours to make them be around each other even more. She hastily typed up a text to Max asking her to meet the following day and was surprised to see a reply not even a minute later. Smiling slightly, she texted the girl back telling her that she would let her know about when and where to meet and was about to put her phone back in her pocket when she felt it vibrate again. Victoria stared at her the screen in confusion and disbelief wanting both to laugh out loud and groan because of the second-hand embarrassment she was currently feeling. Unfortunately, she could do neither as she saw her mother made making her way towards her. The woman looked less than pleased, and Victoria wiped all feelings from her face. She had learned at a young age that the best way to deal with the woman was by being passive and agreeable to whatever came out of her mouth. Which had been increasingly hard to do lately.

“Smoking again, Victoria?” she asked and the blonde’s eyes snapped towards the cigarette that was still resting between her fingers. She cursed herself but made no move to put the cigarette out.

“Drinking again, mother?” she bit back and she instantly knew she was going to regret it one way or another. The woman’s face turned red in an instant as she tried to contain her anger and not make a scene in public. For all her faults, the woman cared too much about the public opinion to do anything that would cause her to be disliked in any way.

“Go home and get changed. Be back here in two hours and _don’t_ make me lose my patience with you,” she ordered as she made her way back inside and Victoria was left staring at her, unable to believe how easily she had gotten off the hook this time. She wondered if this exhibition was that important to her that she would willingly let a comment about her drinking problem slide like that. It was only a young artists exhibit, it wasn’t about anyone important or famous, and yet her mother certainly acted like it was. And, come to think of it, all the preparations seemed over the top as well. Victoria shrugged and took a drag of her cigarette. She couldn’t bring herself to care too much anyway.

* * *

 

It had been hours. Victoria knew exactly how many as she had spent all of them staring at the clock on the wall right across from her. People had come and gone, not more than the amount you would usually find in an exhibit like this one. Kids with their parents were the first to arrive, some of them followed by their entire family too, making the blonde groan and roll her eyes. Everyone was so enthusiastic and supportive and the art wasn’t even that good in most cases. Victoria knew for a fact that she could do better than more than ninety percent of the people in there and instead she was busy walking around with a smile on her face and a tray in her hands. She absolutely _hated_ it.

“Victoria?” She froze mid-stride. She knew that voice well. Too well. And it was the last voice she wanted to hear at that moment. Slowly, the blonde turned around, hoping against all odds that the person standing behind her was anyone other than-

“Max,” she deadpanned. “Of course you’re here.”

“It’s nice to see you too, Victoria,” Max chuckled.

The taller girl took a step towards her classmate. “What the fuck are you doing here?” she asked in a hushed tone.

“Here for the art,” Max waved her arms around. “So… Where’s yours? All in a private room where you have to be a VIP to enter?” she joked.

“Don’t be stupid Caulfield. As if I’d ever have any photos here.” Max wasn’t sure if the comment was meant to show that Victoria’s pictures were too good to be exhibited in her parents’ Gallery or that her parents would never put up any of her photos. It felt like she had aimed for the former but got the later. She smirked slightly as she saw Max’ eyes run up and down her body.

“You look nice,” the brunette said not even a second later.

Victoria huffed and tried to hide her growing smirk. “Of course I do,” she stated, “this dress probably costs more than your entire wardrobe.” Max rolled her eyes at that. She wanted to say that material possessions didn’t matter, but she wasn’t about to get into that discussion. Especially not with Victoria and especially not there. Another moment passed before Victoria realized she still had a tray full of glasses in her hands. She couldn’t do anything to stop an embarrassed blush from spreading across her face. “Don’t you breathe a word of this to anyone, Shitfield. I mean it,” she hissed as she hastily walked to a nearby table and placed the tray on it. “Come on,” she muttered grabbing Max’ arm and pulling her behind her, the brunette struggling slightly to keep up with the taller girl’s wider strides.

Max wanted to ask where they were headed when Victoria pulled her sharply to the right and up a few steps, but her mouth couldn’t for any words. They entered one of the elevators and Victoria’s finger quickly pressed the button to the third floor. Just how huge was this place? It had been ages since Max had last been there and, back then, she could have sworn it was only one single floor. Now, apparently, it was three. ‘Well, color me impressed,’ she thought as she looked awkwardly around, Victoria’s lingering, tight grip around her wrist becoming all too obvious. The elevator bell dinged, the doors opened and the Gallery’s cafe came into view. _‘Aaah… So coffee date it is...’_ realization dawned on Max’ features. Before she had time to speak, she was told to sit at a table that had a quite decent view, she had to admit. Victoria returned a few minutes later and took a seat right across from the brunette. Her eyes followed Max’ outside the window.

“It’s no Space Needle, but it’s not half bad,” she commented, drawing the girl from her thoughts. “Believe me, if my parents could manage it, this place would be taller than the Space Needle.” There was a faint chuckle in her tone, but it sounded far too forced for it to be genuine. Max offered a forced chuckle in return.

The two girls sat there in a weird mixture of awkward and comfortable silence for a few minutes. It was so clear to Max that Victoria was outside of her element, the brunette felt awkward just thinking about it. And she had to wonder why. She was in a Gallery filled with art, had Max’ parents owned a place like this, she would be absolutely ecstatic to spend every day there.

“This is nice…” Max mumbled in an attempt to break the ice that, given everything the two girls had gone through together, shouldn’t even be there in the first place. It felt like Victoria was deliberately putting up walls around her every time something didn’t go the way she thought or wanted it to. And it was getting harder and harder to bring them down.

The blonde raised her shoulders in a show of indifference. “It stops being so cool when you grow up in here,” she stated, her eyes looking around the room.

Max chuckled, “I can just imagine a little Tori running around the Gallery actually.” Her smile faded, however, when she saw the look Victoria was giving her.

“You don’t ever run around a Gallery,” she stated, looking almost confused that Max would say something like that. “Especially the one your parents own,” she added in a somewhat quieter voice. “And don’t call me Tori.” It wasn’t a suggestion. Max let out a defeated breath and she felt her chest deflate. She was about to make her second ice-breaking attempt when a waiter came over to their table and placed a couple of steaming cups in front of each of the girls and a plate with some kind of pastry on it.

“You got us… bread?” Max asked without thinking and she swore Victoria was about to give herself a concussion from the eye roll she had just done.

“It’s a croissant, Maxine. For fuck’s sake, not even you can be so… ugh, you!” The brunette quickly apologized for her ignorance, but she couldn’t keep a small laugh from escaping her lips. “I didn’t bring you here so I could educate you in the French cuisine,” Victoria deadpanned. “Though it might need to be done in the future,” she added mumbling.

“You dragged me here cause… you missed me?” Max tried with a smirk on her lips. She was only half joking.

Victoria rolled her eyes again and huffed, but the brunette was willing to bet money that she saw a faint blush making its way to her cheeks. One she quickly tried to hide by bringing the steaming cup of coffee to her lips, thus covering most of her face. “We have a project to work on, in case you forgot,” she said a moment later, obviously having composed herself.

“I didn’t forget,” Max nibbled on the pastry as she spoke, “but I was under the impression we were meeting up tomorrow.”

“After that text you sent me earlier, you’re lucky I’m even talking to you, Caulfield.” The brunette felt her entire face heat up in response to the wave of embarrassment that had just washed over her. She mumbled something that either went unheard by Victoria or she chose to ignore it as she showed no signs of having listened. “I figured we could go to the Chihuly Garden and Glass. There's always a lot of people there, it shouldn't be too hard to find some willing to be photographed.” Max nodded. Victoria had obviously done her homework.

“Second part is finding people who will say no to us, though,” Max interjected and the blonde let out a laugh.

“You'll be surprised by how many people will deny you things and reject you, Caulfield. The point of the project is obviously to face and handle rejection. I know your little hipster self isn’t used to that, but it is what’s gonna happen about ninety percent of the times.

“I don’t like being rejected…” Max mumbled, her eyes downcast. She really hated it and it was one of the main reasons she hadn’t gathered enough courage to send her work out to anyone.

“No shit, Caulfield, no one _likes_ it. It’s not exactly the best feeling in the world.” Max was well-aware that Victoria knew what she was talking about if that rejection letter she had found in her room while snooping was anything to go by. “Okay, so we’ll-” she paused and Max wondered if the color had indeed just drained from her face or if it was just her eyes playing tricks on her. “Fuck,” the blonde suddenly cursed under her breath, her eyes glued to the entrance of the café. “You don't fucking say a word,” she breathed as a woman approached their table.

She didn't even spare Max a glance as her eyes burned holes in Victoria's head. “I don't recall saying you could take a break, sweetheart,” she stated, her lips smiling but her jaw clenched so tightly, Max thought her teeth would break.

Victoria took a deep breath, visibly trying to calm herself. “I ran into a friend and we're just catching up,” she replied, her own eyes just as intense as the woman's. The altercation made the brunette swallow nervously. She hated being caught up in family drama, it always made her feel awkward. And Victoria's family seemed to be filled to the brim with drama.She glanced up at the mention of her presence just in time to see the woman throwing a look that would put Victoria's to shame.

Her mouth felt dry as she hesitantly extended her arm out for a handshake. “Ma-”

“Maxine Caulfield,” Victoria interjected hoping her mother didn’t care enough to make the connection and her eyes almost pleading Max to not say anything. “This is Maxine Caulfield, we met at Sunday school before I left for Blackwell. Maxine, this is my mother,” she introduced in a clipped tone.

“...right…” Max was able to utter. “Maxine Caulfield,” she introduced herself, somewhat surprised that the woman in front of her actually shook her hand. “It's nice to meet you, Mrs. Chase,” she offered one of her best fake smiles and hoped it was convincing enough and didn't make her look as if she was in pain. She was about to play it up a little and say that Victoria had told her a lot about her, but something stopped her and, frankly, she was glad it did. Victoria and her mother didn't seem to be in the best of terms, and she doubted that her classmate would have anything nice to say about her. The blonde woman simply huffed as she roughly pulled her hand away and turned her attention back to her daughter.

“Break time is over, be back there in two minutes,” she all but hissed as she turned around to make her exit but not before throwing Max one more repelled look that made her fidget in her seat. As soon as the woman was out of both earshot and sight, she let out a breath she had been holding and heard Victoria do the same, the blonde visibly slouching in her seat.

“So… your mum is...” she paused, trying to find the right word to describe the woman she had just met.

“Obnoxious? An asshole? A grade A bitch?” Victoria offered.

“Well, I was gonna say stiff, but… sure, those work too...” Max didn’t know what else to say, but, suddenly, a lot of things about Victoria began making sense.

“Yeah, well…” the blonde grumbled, getting up from her chair. “I have to go,” she stated. “I’ll message you later about the time.” Max simply nodded as Victoria turned to leave. She paused half-way, however, throwing a glance over her shoulder. “I’m… sorry about this, Max.” There was dejection in her voice. “I’ll explain at some point,” she said before taking a deep breath as if to hype herself up, and walked through the cafeteria doors with her head held high.

* * *

 

“So how are your therapy sessions going, dear?” As if the day hadn’t been bad enough. Victoria swallowed the mouthful of food she had been chewing and raised her eyes to look at her father. They weren't going to beat around the bush in the slightest.

“They're okay,” she replied noncommittally. She was well aware of the doctor-patient confidentiality, but she wouldn't be too surprised if her parents had paid their way past it, to be quite frank. They were the kind of people who would do that.

“You _have_ been going, right?” The dreaded question came without pause and Victoria had to weigh her options. Her first instinct was to lie, but she knew that the consequences would be ten times worse when she got caught.

She slowly shook her head. “I… took a break. Things have been really hectic these last couple of weeks, I needed some time for myself.” It wasn’t a lie. It wasn’t the full truth either, however. She knew that what she had just said would give her parents an opening to talk about Nathan and the Prescotts and her apparent insistence of never doing what she was told, but it would also take her mother’s mind off Max. Victoria knew her mother too well, she knew that, sooner or later, she would ask about that too. Quite honestly, she didn’t know which was worse at the moment.

“Yes, it is a shame the Prescotts’ boy killed himself,” her mother spoke up, not even trying to mask the tone of indifference in her voice. “You two were good together, you would have worked out.” She took a sip of wine from her glass, her eyes never leaving her daughter’s.

Victoria clenched the fork in her hand as she felt her temperature rise. “He’s fucking dead and all you’re going to say is it’s a shame we didn’t get the chance to marry?” She doing her best to keep her voice down, but she wasn’t being entirely successful.

“You will watch your language in this house, Victoria,” came her father’s voice from her right. His back straight as a board and his eyes cold and calculated. The blonde rolled her eyes before turning back to face her mother.

“Nathan was like a brother to me, the only person I could trust. And it was the same for him too. So yes, it is a... _shame_ he killed himself, but not because now we won’t end up getting married like you hoped for.” She could suddenly hear her pulse beating in her ears and she tried hard to keep her composure. “It’s a shame because he was an 18-year-old boy who had his entire life ahead of him! He had dreams to chase and things to be! He had his whole future and he took it away from his own self because he felt like no one understood and no one could help him! It’s a shame because his parents cared more about their image than their son’s health. Because it was more important to be rich than to be there for their own fucking child! Stop being so fucking shallow and indifferent for once in your life and look around you! You’re doing the exact same thing, you’re not the only person in the world, like it or not, you have a family. It wasn’t my choice to be your daughter, but it was _your_ choice to become a mother, so fucking act like it!” She had screamed, she was pretty sure of that. She could feel angry tears brimming her eyes and she had stood up at some point during her speech. Her chest heaved as she breathed heavily, her hands shaking. She couldn’t remember the last time she was this angry.

She didn’t even see it coming. She only felt the sudden stinging on her right cheek after it had happened and, even then, it took her a couple of seconds to process it. Her hand raised to her face as her eyes stared at her father unblinking. He too was standing up now, his eyes ready to shoot flames. “Listen here you little dyke,” Victoria audibly gasped, her eyes growing wide and her breath hitching in the back of her throat. She expected him to say a lot of things, but this wasn’t one of them. “I will not tolerate this kind of behavior in my own home.” His voice was eerily calm and contrasted heavily with the intensity of his stare.

“How dare you…” Victoria managed to say. “How fucking dare you speak to me this way?” she yelled. “Who do you think you are?”

“I am your father and you will respect me.” The man’s stern and threatening tone did nothing to deter the blonde girl currently seething in front of him.

“I only respect people who have earned it,” she hissed, her teeth clenched, before turning around and leaving the dining room, tears finally flowing freely down her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know no one asked for extra angst and, tbh, I wasn't planning on adding any. But shit happened and angst was added after all. And I'm not too mad about it xD Hope you guys enjoyed this! I promise you the next chapter will be happier. Probably. Well, I promise you I'll try harder to make it happier haha


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am still alive!

“I’m here! Sorry, I’m here!” Max came to an abrupt halt in front of a waiting Victoria. “I uh… may have overslept a little, I’m sorry,” she explained sheepishly as she tried to not look like she had trouble catching her breath. Of all the times her lack of exercise had betrayed her body, this was the worst possible moment for it to do so. She braced herself for the undoubtedly harsh words that would be coming her way but was surprised, to say the least, by what she got instead.   
  


“It’s okay,” Victoria simply shrugged giving Max pause for a second.   
  


“O… kay…” Indifferent Victoria was not Max’ favorite Victoria. “So… Should we get going? If we take the number 4, we’ll probably be there in fifteen minutes.” Max was about to make her way to the bus station when she realized that Victoria was not following. “Um… or we can…  _ not  _ take the number 4?”   
  


“I figured we could walk.” Had it come from anyone else, Max would have taken it as a simple suggestion. The way Victoria said it, however, it was obvious that she had made up her mind.   
  


“Walk?” was all the brunette could say before being pulled by the arm to follow the taller girl. Max chuckled in her head.  __ ‘Twice in two days.’   
  


“You’re wearing Converse. You can walk there.” Max found it impossible not to roll her eyes at the way Victoria had said the word “converse”.   
  


Fifteen minutes of either silence or Victoria being uncharacteristically agreeable and nice, and Max couldn't take it anymore. She had to know what had changed and she wasn't about to take no for an answer. She suddenly stopped walking and it took the blonde a full couple of seconds to realize that the shorter girl had suddenly disappeared from her peripheral vision. She stopped and turned around, only to find Max staring at her with her arms crossed over her chest. They simply stared at each other for a moment, each waiting for the other to talk first but Victoria wasn't about to say anything.    
  


“What's going on?” Max kept her voice as firm as she could. It dawned on her that she could never keep a strong, certain voice when in the other girl’s presence. That would be something to think about later, however.    
  


“ _ We _ are going on. To the glass garden. Or at least we were; I hope you're not going to throw a temper tantrum right now, I won't stay here and watch you make a fool of yourself.”   
  


“Victoria, I'm serious,” Max took a step forward and didn't miss the way Victoria’s breath hitched ever-so-slightly in the back of her throat. “You're not being yourself,” she continued. It was as much the truth as it wasn't. Victoria knew that, to Max, she wasn't being herself but, in all honesty, this was the first time in a long while when she was truly being who she was. The brunette sighed when she got no answer. “Did something happen?” Silence. “With… With your mom?” she tried again and this time she knew she hit the nail on the head as Victoria's whole demeanor changed right in front of her, her eyes growing wide and cloudy, and her skin turning an ashy white.    
  


“Everything’s fine, Caulfield. Stop sniffing around for clues, you won’t find any.” Max didn’t miss the way Victoria avoided eye contact or how she had clasped her hands in front of her. She couldn’t help but wonder when she had become so observant but figured this would have to wait for later introspection.   
  


“You know you can talk to me, right?” She took a tentative step towards her classmate. “Like… actually talk to me. And I’ll listen. I’m good at it, too. Listening, I mean.” She felt a wave of heat rushing up to her cheeks at how awkward this was making her feel, but it was too late to turn back now.    
  


Victoria nodded faintly before letting her eyes finally land on Max’. “I know,” she muttered and Max felt a small smile forming on her lips. At least her efforts hadn’t gone to waste. And she knew that Victoria was “good at it” too. She had helped Max in her time of need and the brunette had done the same in return. It seemed like all the two would do lately was to sit and hear the other vent. Did that solve any problems? Not really. Max still felt like she couldn’t breathe sometimes and she would still cry herself to sleep whenever Chloe’s face would pop in her mind, and Victoria… Well, Victoria obviously had her issues as well, but it helped. Knowing that there was someone there to listen and to provide a shoulder to cry on or a hug or even a joint and an old but surprisingly soft blanket that smelled of lavender helped both of them move forward.   
  


“Come on.” Max, who had now taken a few steps forward and closed the gap between them, grabbed Victoria by the hand and led her to a nearby bench. The taller girl ignored the slight tingling sensation that shot through her entire arm at the gesture, rolling her eyes at herself for being so hopeless that even a little bit of innocent hand-holding could make her feel this way.   
  


“It’s nothing I’m not used to, it’s not even worth mentioning, to be honest,” Victoria said after a couple of moments of mostly awkward silence which only got worse with Max’ eyes staring expectantly at her, urging her to talk.   
  


Max groaned quietly and rolled her eyes. “It is if it’s making you act this way,” she stated but immediately regretted it seeing how Victoria looked at her.   
  


“So me being actually nice is weird to you,” it was more of a statement than a question.   
  


“That’s not what I meant…” Max gulped at the sight of Victoria’s eyebrow arching as she looked at her. She wasn’t really sure why she felt like she had to apologize and to explain herself to the other girl. “I’m just- well, not used to you being so… agreeable?” she tried again with an awkward smile. “I know I don’t have a special blanket or weed, but come on. Tell aunty Max what’s bothering you.” This coaxed a snort from Victoria, making Max’ eyes light up slightly.   
  


Victoria eyed her curiously, obviously trying to put her thoughts in order. “Well,  _ aunty Max _ ,” she teased and chuckled at the red hue that was suddenly adorning Max’ cheeks, “let’s just say that life in the Chase household isn’t exactly... ideal. There’s a reason I wasn’t too excited to come back here.” Max actively tried to stop herself from probing further and let Victoria say as much, or as little apparently, as she wanted, but her natural curiosity was hard to beat. She had to bite her tongue to stop herself from letting an avalanche of questions tumble out of her mouth. “I can practically see the cogs in your brain turning,” came Victoria’s quiet voice a second later. “You may as well go ahead and ask now.” With every passing day, Max was becoming more and more certain that the girl next to her could read her mind. And, given everything, she wouldn’t be too surprised if it turned out to be true.   
  


“Does it have anything to do with how you introduced me as Maxine to your mom?” she tried. For someone who was pretty much incapable of reading other people, she had been surprisingly perceptive lately.   
  


Victoria nodded. “I called you Max when I told her I had to work on a school project,” she explained. “She thought you were a guy,” Max could hear a hint of something in the girl’s voice that was strangely similar to embarrassment, “she wouldn’t be too happy to know that Max is actually a girl…” It took a moment for the brunette to put two and two together, her eyes growing wide when she did.   
  


“Your mom would think we’re…”    
  


Victoria nodded. “She thinks being gay is the worst thing in the world, like God is punishing her for something. At least that’s what she’s said over the years. The funny thing is, I’m not even a lesbian.” Max felt her throat dry at that particular statement as she stared into the green eyes of her classmate.   
  


“But you…” she began but the words died before they had the chance to leave her mouth. “We… You’re not?”   
  


Victoria shook her head ‘no’ this time and Max felt like crying. Or screaming. Or both. “Pan,” the blonde simply stated. “Of course that’s as good as being the biggest dyke there is if you’re my mom.” She saw Max blink in confusion. “She… caught me with a girl back when I was fourteen,” she decided to elaborate. “Gave me the whole ‘you’re a disgrace of a daughter’ speech and then told my dad who- well, he didn’t react any better. It didn’t matter that I explained to them that I was still attracted to guys, in their minds I was a vile, unnatural human being.” She raised her shoulders at her last statement, as if to show she didn’t care, that it didn’t matter or that she didn’t feel hurt by it.   
  


“You like guys?” Max found herself asking before she could stop herself and Victoria chuckled quietly.   
  


“Out of everything I just said, that’s what you wanna know?”   
  


“Sorry… That- That was rude.” Max laughed awkwardly, her hand scratching the back of her neck as she spoke.   
  


“I like… people, I guess.” Max couldn’t keep back a snort at that statement, something that made Victoria laugh in return. “Or I don’t. I’m not much of a people person.”   
  


“Yeah well, no shit.” Max felt a playful slap on her shoulder and she wasn’t sure if it was meant to be as painful as it was.   
  


“Look, it’s not about whether someone is a guy or a girl or both or neither, I don’t care about that.”   
  


“I know what pan is,” Max laughed and rolled her eyes.    
  


Victoria laughed softly. “What about you?” she asked in a serious tone a moment later. “Who do you like?”   
  


“I don’t know…” Max raised her shoulders as a soft pink color took over her face. “I don’t like putting labels on everything,” she explained. She was well aware of her crush on Chloe ever since they were young and she had mentioned it in passing to her parents as well. No one ever made a big deal out of it so it just never came up again. She had crushes on cute skater guys over the years, and she wouldn’t be ashamed to admit that she had admired more than a few pretty girls too, but nothing felt like what she would feel for Chloe. And that week they spent together only served to fan the idle flames. She was suddenly so lost in her thoughts of Chloe, she almost missed Victoria’s lips moving as she spoke. Her voice sounded muffled and distant in Max’ ears as she blinked some clarity back to her mind.   
  


“...nts who understand.”   
  


“Huh? Sorry, I wasn’t listening…”   
  


“Where are you off to? You keep spacing out on me.” The blonde’s tone wasn’t accusatory in the slightest as Max had expected. On the contrary, she seemed to be genuinely interested and even a little bit worried.   
  


“I was just thinking, sorry. What did you say?”   
  


Victoria squinted, her eyes examining Max’ own, but she dropped the subject a second later. “I said that it must be nice to have parents who understand.”   
  


Max nodded. “It’s nice to have people around you who won’t judge you… Speaking of parents,” she continued after a short pregnant pause, “I’ve been informed that mine would  _ love  _ to have you over for dinner.” She chuckled a little awkwardly and let out a sigh when she heard Victoria do the same.   
  


“It’s a little early in our relationship for me to meet your parents, don’t you think?” Max, who had taken out a bottle of water and was in the process of gulping down large amounts of the cool liquid, squeezed her eyes shut as she felt the water suddenly sputter out of her mouth. She had half a mind to turn the other way at the last moment, saving Victoria from the admittedly disgusting shower she would get otherwise. “Holy shit, I’m just kidding Caulfield,” she felt a hand patting her back firmly, helping her breathe again.   
  


“Your timing is fucking terrible, Victoria,” Max wheezed, water running down the side of her mouth.    
  


“Depends on which end of the joke you're on. It was pretty funny for me,” she laughed playfully as she dug in her purse for a packet of tissues she knew was in there. “I don’t know, meeting parents is always so… awkward,” she said, ignoring Max’ pointed look as she handed her a tissue.   
  


“Oh, come on, it’s just food, Tori. You do eat, right? I mean… You don’t just feed on other people’s souls…?” She was left staring as the taller girl suddenly got up from next to her and started walking away. She wasn’t sure if that was one of Victoria’s games or if she had really taken things too far, though she didn’t think she had.   
  


“No food until we actually start on this stupid project!” Victoria half-yelled at her over her shoulder making her stand up, throw her bag over her shoulder and jog towards her to catch up.

* * *

 

“Please tell me you’ve seen my blue shirt.” Max’ footsteps rang around the house as she hurried down the stairs and practically burst in the kitchen. “The one with the polka dots on it,” she explained, looking at her mother expectantly.   
  


“That’s not a very good choice for mid-December, sweetheart. It has short sleeves,” the woman replied. “And anyway, I think I saw it in the laundry basket,” she added before her daughter had the chance to protest.   
  


“What? What is it doing in there, I haven’t worn it in age. It’s not dirty,” Max groaned when she received no other answer than raised shoulders. She turned around and made her way back upstairs, muttering about how she had to find something else to wear now and how late it was already. Her mother chuckled.   
  


“You can wear this, in case you still haven’t found anything to wear.” It was about fifteen minutes later when Vanessa made her way in Max’ room, stopping dead in her tracks as her daughter’s head poked from inside the closet. “What on earth happened here Max?” she asked as her eyes took in the sight in front of her.   
  


“I have nothing to wear,” Max complained, plopping down on her bed with a defeated sigh.   
  


“Your entire wardrobe is on the floor…” The woman’s words were mostly an observation and not aimed at anyone in particular. “Here, put this on, run a brush through your hair and clean this mess up cause I’m not doing it for you.”   
  


“Is this yours?” Max couldn’t help but ask as she grabbed the shirt her mother had offered her. “I don’t wanna wear something… Well.”   
  


“Something an old woman wears?” Vanessa joked. “Be happy I’m even letting you borrow this after seeing how badly you treat your own clothes, Maxine. I mean honestly…” she sighed. “You know, I’ve never seen you so… nervous about something like this. And god knows I’ve never seen you worrying about what to wear before. If I didn’t know you, I’d think-”   
  


Max felt her face flush as she got up and pushed her mother out of the room. “Yes, thank you mother, I really appreciate it, I am forever in your debt, however will I ever repay you?” she exclaimed dramatically. “And don’t call me Maxine!” she practically slammed the door on her mother’s face.   
  


It was almost twenty minutes later when Max could be heard running down the stairs yelling “I’ll get it,” to no one in particular as she made her way to the door. It was still fifteen minutes too early, but somehow this didn’t surprise her in the slightest. She paused with her hand wrapped around the doorknob to take a deep breath and compose herself, the last thing she wanted was to seem too eager, and she threw the door open a moment later.   
  


“Hey,” she greeted, mentally patting herself on the back for managing to not sound as awkward as she felt. She shrugged slightly under Victoria’s examining gaze that traveled up and down her body. The blonde smiled slightly as their eyes finally met.   
  


“Sorry I’m late,” she said, not making a move to walk inside.   
  


Max eyed her in confusion. “You’re… fifteen minutes early…” she informed her as she moved to the side to let Victoria enter and reached out to take her cardigan.   
  


“I make it a point to never actually be late,” Victoria stated and Max blushed at the subtle accusation.   
  


“Well, the food’s not ready yet, as far as I know… We could go up in my room if you want?” her mind thought back to all the childhood memorabilia that was stored away in her room and, suddenly, she didn’t know if that was such a good idea after all. “Or we could just hang out in the kitchen or the living room…” she tried lamely.   
  


“Your room is fine, I suppose.” Victoria sounded nonchalant as she walked around a little, curiously looking at every little detail of the area. The house, though definitely smaller than her own, seemed warm and welcoming. It gave off an air of familiarity and the blonde didn’t know if she loved it or hated it for that.   
  


“Mum’s in the kitchen,” Max informed a second later. “She’s waiting to meet you.”   
  


“Well then let’s not deprive her of that joy,” Victoria chuckled. “Lead the way, Maxine.” She smirked when Max rolled her eyes at the name.   
  


The kitchen was just like Victoria had it expected to be. Where the kitchen in her house was big, and seemed sterile and impersonal, looking more like something you would see in a hospital, this one was small, cute even, full of warm colors and, Victoria was willing to bet, family moments and memories. And she was right if the pictures on the fridge were anything to go by. The sole occupant of the room, Max’ mother as she had come to know, turned to look at the two girls with a beaming smile on her face.   
  


“Victoria!” she exclaimed wiping her hand on her apron before reaching over for a handshake. “Hi, it’s nice to officially meet you.” Victoria was forced to stop thinking of how cliche this whole thing was and turn her attention back to the woman.   
  


“Hello, Mrs. Caulfield,” she greeted politely. “It’s nice to meet you.”   
  


“Oh, call me Vanessa, darling. No need for such formalities.” Victoria let out a laugh and nodded. “Max, why don’t you two go up to your room? The food won’t be ready for at least another half an hour.”   
  


“That’s what we were about to do,” Max nodded. “Oh, hey. Where’s dad?” she wasn’t sure if she wanted her father to meet Victoria just yet. Knowing him, he would make jokes about Max and try to embarrass and that was something that could wait. “The house feels unusually quiet,” she joked.   
  


“I sent him out to buy some wine. You drink wine, right, Victoria? We don’t usually keep any around but I figured that would be the safest choice,” her eyes turned to look at their guest.   
  


“Oh sure, yeah. Thank you,” Victoria smiled.   
  


“Great! Now off you go,” the woman ushered the girls away. “I don’t want anyone clumsy in my feet,” she said knowingly causing Max to groan.   
  


“I’m… sorry. They can be a bit- much sometimes,” Max began as the two made their way upstairs and into a room that screamed ‘Max’ from miles away. Victoria had to hold back a chuckle at how hipstery everything was. “And you haven’t even met my dad yet…” she mumbled, shutting the door behind her.   
  


“It’s fine, I don’t mind,” Victoria sounded distracted. She was too busy taking in every detail of the room she was in and that only served to make Max feel exposed and self-conscious.   
  


“So uh… this is my room…”    
  


“No shit,” Victoria rolled her eyes. “You might as well have written Maxine on the walls.” Her tone was playful, knowing exactly what the next thing out of Max’ mouth was going to be.   
  


“Max. Not Maxine,” the brunette stated, confused when she heard Victoria laugh.   
  


“Oh shit,” she said after a few more moments of exploring and Max turned her head to see what it was she had seen. “Is that fucking Final Fantasy Spirits Within?” Victoria had crouched down in front of the small TV and was eyeing Max’ DVD collection which ranged from cheesy rom-coms to… well, Final Fantasy Spirits Within.   
  


“Uh… Yeah? It’s only one of the best sci-fi movies ever made!” she said defensively, blushing at the way Victoria was staring at her.   
  


“One of the best sci-fi movies ever made…” the blonde mumbled as if trying to let the words sink in. “Have you ever seen like… Any other movie?” she asked a second later. “This shit was a technical milestone, sure, but its plot was nonexistent. The whole thing was so awkward.” Max blinked, the only thing in her mind was the fact that Victoria had watched this movie; and she had a… not too great opinion about it too, apparently.   
  


“It came out in 2001, Victoria,” Max defended. She wasn’t just going to stand around and listen to Victoria bash one of her favorite movies in her own house.   
  


“And Alien came out in 1979, what’s your point?” Max huffed in annoyance. She wasn’t about to get in an argument with Victoria over this, but she would make damn sure the blonde knew she did not like her attacking one of her favorite movies. “Where’s Paprika?” came the blonde’s voice again as her eyes scanned the rest of the DVDs.   
  


“Uh… What?” Based on the look Victoria just threw her, one would think Max had just offended her in the worst way possible.   
  


“You don’t…” she shook her head in disbelief. “You have no idea what I’m talking about,” her eyes grew wide as realization came.   
  


“I mean… I know  _ of  _ paprika?” Max’ lame attempt to save herself was futile.   
  


“I’m willing to bet money that you’re talking about the spice right now.”   
  


“Am not!” the brunette’s voice rose slightly as she once again tried to defend herself. “I’m… talking about the… movie…?” she wasn’t even able to convince her own self, let alone someone else.   
  


“Sure you are,” Victoria rose to her feet and made her way towards Max. “I’ll tell you what.” She took a step closer. A couple more and it would be too close. Max averted her eyes awkwardly. “You tell me what Paprika is about…” One more step. Max could feel the waves of heat coming off from Victoria’s body now. “...and I’ll give you whatever you want in return.” Max gulped. Loudly. She could have sworn Victoria had heard it as a small smile appeared on her lips.   
  


“I uh… I…” It took Max everything she had in order to concentrate and for coherent thoughts, and yet this was the best she could come up with. She felt herself getting flustered and he cheeks going red as Victoria’s breaths hit her lips. She was so close; too close.    
  


“Knock knock.” The door suddenly began to open and time sprang forward. The moment was gone as Victoria took a couple of steps back, leaving Max to deal with her uneven breathing and flushed face. “The food is ready, come on down when you’re ready,” Vanessa’s head peeped through the half-opened door as she informed the two girls, seemingly oblivious to what was happening only a couple of seconds before.   
  


“Saved by the door…” Victoria’s voice had gone down an octave, Max was sure of it. “We’ll discuss this later,” she continued as she made her way to the door, her shoulder purposely brushing against the shorter girl.

* * *

 

The atmosphere was light and pleasant and Victoria, much to her surprise, loved every second of it. Max’ parents, while they did make her feel somewhat jealous, they were good and open people, ready to include her as if they had known her for years. She supposed it did help that they had asked about every little detail of her life, however. Not even her own parents would ask so much about her, not that her parents were anything to go by. By the time Vanessa brought the desert, Victoria felt content and full; both physically and emotionally. She had to wonder if all parents were like this or if that was the exception to the rule hers seemed to always follow. The answer wasn’t too hard to find, in all honesty, no matter how much she hated to admit it.  _ ‘Some people are just not fit to be parents,’ _ that was the conclusion she had come to.   
  


The girl had received a few questioning looks when her phone had begun ringing at one point and she had merely looked at the name on the screen, rolled her eyes and turned it with the screen facing down, but no one asked anything about that. Just like no one had asked anything about her putting the device on silent and shoving it in her purse after what had to have been the seventh call. She was always a little more tense after the calls, and that was when Mr. Caulfield, “call me Ryan, please”, would mention yet another embarrassing story about Max’ childhood, one that would make the brunette groan and blush but never failed to lighten the mood.   
  


Soon enough, maybe even too soon for Victoria’s liking, it was time for her to say her goodbyes. She didn’t particularly want to go and it was obvious by the way Max’ face fell that she wasn’t too happy either.   
  


“It was a pleasure officially meeting you, Mrs. Caulfield,” Victoria smiled politely as she stood at the door, her eyes going from the woman to her husband who was standing next to her and finally to Max who was mirroring her smile. “Mr. Caulfield,” she reached out for a handshake that the man didn’t accept. Instead, he moved forward, his arms wrapping around the girl whose body grew stiff in surprise. She chuckled awkwardly as the man stepped back. “Merry Christmas if I don’t see you again.”   
  


“Nonsense,” came Vanessa’s voice, “don’t be a stranger, dear,” she said laughing slightly at her husband’s antics. “We would love to have you again.” Victoria nodded, Max’ parents taking that as their cue to move back inside, leaving the girls alone to say their goodbyes.   
  


“Tonight was nice, Victoria,” Max smiled. “Thanks for coming.”   
  


“Why so formal, Caulfield?” the blonde asked, her eyes suddenly darkening. She held back a laugh at how flustered Max immediately grew. It was too easy to mess with her and too much fun to stop.    
  


“Uh… It- it was… I hope you enjoyed the food, I didn’t really know what you would like… If you want-”   
  


Victoria had to laugh this time. “Relax, Max. Everything was great, honest. You… you have a very nice family,” she smiled. “I’ll text you when we can meet up next for our project? You can pick the location this time.” She loved seeing Max eye light up. “Anything but the gum wall,” she quickly added as if knowing what the shorter girl was thinking, and, judging by the groan that immediately escaped Max’ lips, that was exactly what she had in mind.   
  


“But I love the gum wall…” the girl complained, but she knew Victoria would have none of it. “I guess I could pick another place, though…”   
  


“I guess you could,” Victoria nodded and both girls laughed softly. It was Victoria’s turn to groan this time as her phone, which she had taken off the silent mode a little bit earlier, started ringing again. “Well, this is my cue to leave,” she stated. She raised her hand to wave at Max and had to keep herself back from actually hugging the other girl. She really had to get that touchy-feely side of her under control, it was getting annoying. Max waved back with a smile on her face as she watched the taller girl walk away, phone in her ear and her tone harsh. She couldn’t stop herself from wondering what was going on with Victoria as she shut the front door softly and walked back to the living room. She immediately blushed at the looks her parents were giving her from their place on the couch and she didn’t even bother actually entering the room, choosing to make her way upstairs instead.   
  


“I like her,” she heard her mother’s voice and her father’s hum of agreement before she shut the door to her bedroom.   
  


“I kinda like her too…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who said I can't do fluff?? I did actually. I said I can't do fluff. But this one was kind of fluffy, right? Well, I did my best anyways xD So sorry for the extremely long wait, life finally caught up with me and with college and work and everything it was hard for me to find time to write. I hope this chapter is at least decent though! Also, THANK YOU for all the kudos, holy shit! And the comments too! You guys are awesome ^^


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What? New chapter only a week after I posted the previous one? What is this sorcery?? Anyways, so, I was surprisingly fast finishing this one and I wanted to wait to upload it. But it was my birthday yesterday and I figured why the fuck not?? But then I got busy and never managed to update. So happy belated birthday to me! I hope you guys enjoy this!

The fact that time passes by quickly when you’re having fun was commonly known and accepted, Victoria knew as much. What she didn’t know, however, was just how quickly that particular Christmas break was going to go by. Between avoiding any interaction with her parents and meeting up with none other than Max pretty much every day, she knew she shouldn’t have been too surprised when she woke up on New Year’s Eve to an all too familiar song blaring from her phone.

She and Max would hang out practically every day under the pretense that it was only to work on their project, but the little substantial progress they had made spoke volumes. Sure, they were meeting set on taking some pictures, and Victoria would even bring her laptop along, in case they wanted to write some of the essay parts of the project down, but the device had never even left her bag. They had taken pictures. Max was extremely proud of herself for not freezing up nearly as much now as she used to, but about half of them were useless, unable to be used for the project. “Probably because they are not of strangers,” Victoria had stated one afternoon when Max had voiced her complaint about not using any of the pictures she had taken that day. With the exception of three, undoubtedly beautiful photos that they could actually use, all the rest were ones of Victoria. Victoria with her camera on her face, taking a picture of a man with his young daughter on his shoulders, both smiling brightly; Victoria with her head tilted towards the sky, her eyes closed and her arms stretched over her head, soaking in the rare for the season sunlight; Victoria fumbling with the settings of her camera, a frown on her face and a cigarette on her lips; Victoria with a look that was a mix of both disappointment and anger when a woman had refused, rather loudly, to have her picture taken; Victoria giving Max the finger right after their encounter with the woman, obviously not liking having her rejection eternalized on instax film… The girl was quickly becoming Max’ favorite subject.

“Hello?” she mumbled sleepily, not bothering to check the caller ID before picking up her phone.

“You bitch!” came the familiar greeting from the other end of the line and Victoria cringed at the volume of the voice. That wasn’t Max. “You go back to Seattle for two weeks and suddenly you forget all about little ol’ me?”

“Hello to you too, Tay,” the blonde couldn’t keep a smile from reaching her lips.

“Don’t try to sweet talk your way out of this, there’s no point. I’m mad.” Victoria knew she was kidding. She laughed and decided to play along, nonetheless.

“Would a fancy dinner at your favorite restaurant when I return make up for my unspeakable behavior? My treat, of course.”

There was a pause on the other end of the line. “...maybe. You’ll have to do more than that, though. I don’t know what yet, but I’ll keep you posted.” Both girls chuckled. It was interactions like this one that made Victoria feel less lonely. “Now that we got that out of the way,” there was a shift and some ruffling of sheets and Victoria knew that Taylor was still in bed, “how are you doing, babe? I missed you! You weren’t having too much fun last time we talked…” Last time they had spoken was when Victoria had called Taylor at three o’clock in the morning, crying because of how angry at her parents she was. Taylor had been too close to booking the first flight to Seattle right then and there.

Victoria sighed. “It’s okay, actually. I mean… I’ve hardly spoken a word to either of them,” no explanation was needed as to who ‘them’ was, “but I honestly don’t care.”

“Well, at least you have Max,” Taylor mumbled. “This has to be better than nothing.” She had probably winked at that. Her tone made an excellent job at conveying that through the phone.

“Stop beating around the bush and ask what you want to ask,” Victoria laughed.

“You’re not gonna just tell me, are you?”

“...nope.”

Taylor sighed in an attempt to mask her laugh. “Okay, so… You two done it yet?” There was a pause. “Oh my god, you slut! You did? Tell me everything!”

“What the fuck, Taylor, we haven’t done any kind of ‘it’!” _‘yet,’_ Victoria thought but resisted the urge to add. “We’ve been working on that stupid photography project, that’s all.”

“If that’s true, I’m surprised by how strong your self-restraint is. You look at her like you wanna jump her bones, I thought for sure you’d have made a move by now,” Taylor let out a loud laugh that caused Victoria to groan.

“I’m being respectful, you asshole! You know I’m not gonna do anything she doesn’t want me to.”

“You’re so fucking whipped, Vic, holy shit. And trust me, she so wants you to! So have you done anything else other than ‘work on the project’?” She had used air-quotes, Victoria knew as much.

“I met her parents,” she said after a brief pause. “Like… she invited me over for dinner a couple of times and all that.”

“Awww! Meeting the in-laws already, I love it! Are they as hipstery as she is?”

“They’re really cool, actually. They even invited me to spend today with them.” She still had to figure out a way to get out of that. She had told Max she would get back to her, but she already knew she wasn’t going to go. Not on a day like this one.

“Shit, are you going? Going into the new year with none other than Maxine fucking Caulfield and her picture-perfect family. Who’d have thought!”

“Yeah well, I’m not going, so… I’ll be going into the new year with my picture-perfect self, thank you very much.”

“What about your folks?”

“Whatever they’ll be doing, they certainly didn’t invite me. As if I’d want to spend the day with them anyway.” Victoria hated it when she sounded like an angsty teenager, but she really didn’t care when it came to her parents. She heard Taylor groan and say something about wishing she could be there and she had to smile. “So how’s your mum, babe?” she asked a second later, eager to leave the subject of her parents behind.

“Oh she’s great. Excited to cook for us tomorrow, she’s already begun prepping,” Taylor laughed. “I told her she doesn’t have to, I mean it’s only gonna be me and her, but there’s no stopping her when she sets her mind on something.”

“Tell her I said hi, okay? And that I’ll be sure to drop by for a proper chat soon.”

“Will do, babe! I have to go now, it’s my turn to go to the grocery store for supplies. I’ll call you later, ‘kay? Be sure to have fun tonight, I’ll check!” They both laughed before the line went silent, Taylor’s voice still ringing in Victoria’s ears. She contemplated staying in bed for a while longer, sleep still lingering just behind her eyes, making her eyelids feel heavy. She had no idea how much time later it was when her phone, still in her hand, vibrated with an incoming text.

**(Max @10:15): This is your scheduled 10 AM wake-up text. Rise and shine!  
  
**

She smiled before she had the chance to stop herself.

 ****_**(Me @10:16): You’re fifteen minutes late. The day is gone, might as well stay in bed and stare at the ceiling for the rest of today.**_  


**(Max @10:17): Aww, but I wanted to go grab breakfast today :(  
  
**

Victoria didn’t send her reply right away. Instead, she got up, quietly opened her bedroom door and looked up and down the hall. She checked her parents’ bedroom, the study, the living room, the kitchen, even the basement. She was by herself.

 ****_**(Me @10:25): How fast can you be dressed and out of the house?**_  


**(Max @10:26): Fifteen?  
  
**

****_**(Me @10:27): Are you asking me or telling me, Caulfield?**_  


**(Max @10:28): Fifteen  
  
**

****_**(Me @10:29): Good. Meet up by**_ _**the train station in half an hour. Text me when you’re there and don’t be fucking late! <3**_  


She felt the blood drain from her face. She had pressed the send button before she could even process the fact that she had actually added a heart emoji at the end of her message, and now panic was rising in her chest. She was still fussing over it when as she changed out of her pajamas and made her way to the kitchen.

* * *

 

Max was smiling. She didn’t know if she should take it so seriously, it may very well have been a mistake, a slip of Victoria’s fingers, but it was still there. That little red heart in the end of her last message. Victoria, for all the time the two had been texting, wasn’t one to use emojis that often, if at all. So this seemed like a big deal in Max’ head. She was smiling as she made her way downstairs, mostly on autopilot as she followed the smell of waffles coming from the kitchen, her father over the waffle maker, watching it like a hawk. She laughed.

“Did mum leave you in charge of breakfast? After all those years, you’d think she’d know better.”

“Aaah, Maximus, light of my life. Always so nice and not at all sassy with your old man,” her father greeted dramatically, his eyes shifting to her only for a second before returning to their previous position. “Take a seat and prepare to be amazed by my cooking skills, youngling.”

“I’m sorry dad, but I kinda already have plans. It has nothing to do with your cooking, I’m sure no one will end up in the hospital this time,” she laughed again at the hurt look her father gave her.

“You wound me, Maxine. After everything I’ve done, and this is how my only child is treating me… Your mother will not be happy to hear about this,” he stated matter of factly.

“I’m not even half-curious about whose side mum is gonna be on. Where is she anyways?”

“New Year’s food shopping. I don’t know who she’s expecting will show up waiting to be fed, but she left almost an hour ago with a grocery list the size of a phone book,” the man joked. “Want me to drive you anywhere since you’re not staying for breakfast?” he asked as he unplugged the waffle maker and placed the dirty mixing bowl and cutlery in the sink.

“I’m just going to the train station so…” Max raised her shoulders. It was a fifteen-minute walk, ten if she hurried along, but being driven there always had a certain appeal to it.

“Okay. Wash the dishes while I put on my shoes, will you?”

“I knew this was some dirty trick to make me do your chores for you!” Max yelled as her father disappeared upstairs, a smile adorning her lips.

* * *

 

**_(Me @10:56): I’m here!_  
  
**

Max hastily typed her message to Victoria as she got out of the car.

“Say hi to Victoria for me, Maximus!” her father yelled with his head outside the window. “And be sure to use protection!” he added making the brunette groan, silently thankful that her big scarf was able to hide her insane blush. She stopped right outside the entrance to the station and checked her phone again. Sure enough, Victoria had already replied to her text, a minute after she had sent it.

 ******(Victoria @10:57): But are you queer?** __  
  


**(Victoria @10:57): Try and see if you can spot a black car with a driver that looks like straight out of Men In Black. His name is Clint and he’s actually pretty cool. Just don’t make eye contact.**  


Max blinked. ‘What the fuck?’

**_(Me @11:00): ???? What? Should I be scared? Where the fuck are you??_  
  
**

******(Victoria @11:01): Relax, Shitfield, Clint knows what he’s doing. He’ll bring you to me ;) ;)**  


**_(Me @11:02): If I get fucking murdered, Victoria, I’m going to kill you!_  
  
**

It didn’t take long to spot the car Victoria was talking about. It was, after all, the only limousine in probably a 50-mile radius. The car ride, much to Max’ relief, was pleasant. The fact that Clint didn’t turn out to be a bloodthirsty murderer made the whole situation better. He was the Chase family driver, as Max found out, for the past fifteen years. He had a son only a couple of years older than herself and Victoria, and his wife had died of cancer seven years ago. She found it moving that he was still wearing his wedding ring. Before she knew it, the car had come to a stop right outside what could only be described as a mansion. It was big and imposing, something that, when Max thought about, fit perfectly with the idea she had formed in her mind of the Chases. She had barely gotten out of the car, thanking Clint for the pleasant ride, when the front door of the house flew open, a very nicely-dressed Victoria standing on the threshold.

“If it isn’t Maxine Caulfield herself,” Victoria greeted as Max approached her, her steps slow, trying to take everything in. “Stop gawking, I’ll give you the grand tour later.” The brunette felt a hand wrapping around her arm and pull her inside. Her breath hitched. She had imagined that Victoria lived in a palace, but she never thought she would be right. It may not have been an actual palace per se, and it may not have even been as big as it looked like to Max, but the place felt huge. And, as she came to realize by walking from the entrance to the kitchen, empty and impersonal. It was a house, not a home; and it made her feel kind of bad for the young Victoria who had spent all her life in there.

“Okay, so this is the kitchen…” Victoria’s voice caused her to snap back into reality. The room was big and open, the marble islands impeccably clean. Max doubted anyone had ever used the stove. She even doubted there was actual food anywhere in there. That was until she noticed a few supplies arranged carefully on the end of one of the counters. Milk, eggs, flour, and even a tub of Nutella. This had to be an alternate reality. The Victoria Max knew wouldn’t be caught dead near such deliciousness. “If you’re thinking the place looks far too clean to ever have been used, you’re right,” Victoria spoke again when she realized that Max was too busy staring to say anything. “But I figured we could make breakfast? Since someone was so set on getting some,” she winked playfully causing Max to blush, once again thankful for the scar that was hiding the bottom half of her face. “You can just leave your stuff wherever, I’ll put them away later.” The brunette nodded as she moved to take off her coat. “I have a pair of slippers you can borrow if you want to take your shoes off too. You don’t have to, by the way. My mother is crazy about the ‘no shoes inside the house’ rule, but you can do whatever you want.” Max quickly took her shoes off and pushed them out of the way. Just because Victoria didn’t follow the house rules, it didn’t mean she felt comfortable doing the same.

“Where is everybody?” Max couldn’t help but ask as she walked closer to Victoria who was reaching for something in a cupboard.

“I don’t know,” she replied placing a scale next to the ingredients. “And I don’t care. Can you grab the butter from the fridge? Should be on the door.”

“I didn’t think there would be butter in your fridge,” Max joked, making her way to the massive two-door fridge that looked more like a closet. “Woah. I didn’t think there would be anything in your fridge, actually. This thing is full!”

“I stoked it up yesterday,” Victoria offered. “The fact that there wasn’t an angry letter from my mother saying how I shouldn’t be bringing home all this junk waiting for me this morning probably means she didn’t even notice.” Max didn’t know how to feel at that statement. It was obvious Victoria had meant it as a joke, but she knew it was true and she couldn’t help but feel a pang of… something. “Don’t pity me, Caulfield. I hate when you do that.”

Max gulped and hastily apologized. _‘Stop reading my mind!’_ she thought and she half-expected Victoria to say that she wasn’t doing that. The blonde remained silent though, and Max took this as a good sign. The smirk on her lips didn’t go unnoticed, however. Why did she have to always put Max so on edge?

“I trust you’ve made crepes before?” came the question a moment later, making Max nod enthusiastically.

“Duh, of course I have. Chloe and I used t-” she froze. Chloe. Of course she would think of Chloe at a time like this. She took a deep breath that was far more unsteady than she wanted it to be and forced her mind to snap back into reality.

“We can make something else if you don’t feel like crepes,” Victoria said tentatively. “How about scrambled eggs? Or we could do pancakes or-”

“It’s fine, Victoria,” Max placed a hand on the taller girl’s shoulder, “honest. I haven’t had crepes in a while, actually. It’s more than fine.” The smile she offered didn’t do much to ease the tension, but Victoria decided to drop the subject and, soon enough, they fell into a comfortable rhythm as one was mixing the ingredients and the other was reading the recipe from a tablet Victoria had led on the counter. Max had laughed at the fact that Victoria needed a recipe to make something as simple as crepes, and had only laughed harder at the blonde’s lame attempt to defend herself. Victoria was a lot of things, a cook was definitely not one of them. She still refused to go down without a fight, however, or get mocked by a waif hipster, as she had so eloquently put it, and, to be fair, the end result more than vindicated her.

“These are delicious, Victoria,” Max said with an impressed gleam in her eyes. “Really, I could eat the whole batch,” she laughed.

“Give me _some_ credit, Caulfield. I may not be a chef, but that doesn’t mean I can’t follow simple instructions.” They both laughed and finished the rest of their breakfast in comfortable silence.

“So what’s next on the list?” Max asked as she handed her plate to Victoria who was busy loading the dishwasher.

“I figured I could give you that tour you so desperately want,” the blonde laughed. “And then we could watch a movie? Maybe make lunch, I don’t know. I did get a bunch of food just in case, but we can always just order something up. Or… Well, you don’t actually have to stay for lunch if you don’t want to.” Max had never seen Victoria ramble so much. She was so nervous, it was adorable. Why she was so nervous, however, the brunette had no idea.

“Sounds great! I am pretty desperate to see the rest of the house, to be honest. This place is fucking huge! And lunch sounds good too. Though I should warn you, I can’t really cook anything that doesn’t come in a box.”

“I’ll download a food delivery app.” They both laughed again and Max thought that this was something she could kind of get used to.

The tour ended right where it had begun; the kitchen. Max’ jaw was still a little slack from seeing the entire mansion as they made their way to the center island and each plopped herself on a stool.

“Shut your mouth, Caulfield, it’s not that impressive” Victoria chuckled pulling out her phone and handing it to Max. “Here, you order something for us and I’ll unload the dishwasher, how’s that sound?” The brunette nodded. “Just… Nothing too fatty okay?” The brunette groaned.

They settled for chinese food, much to Victoria’s dismay. It wasn’t that she didn’t like it, on the contrary, but it did go extremely against the ‘nothing too fatty’ rule she had set earlier.

“Did you know that fried rice contains like 1,500 calories per serving?” she asked looking at her phone, a plate of sweet and sour chicken in front of her.

“Good thing neither of us got fried rice, then,” Max deadpanned, her mouth still half-filled with food. “If you’re trying to make me feel bad for eating chinese, it’s not working by the way,” she laughed. “And no one ever died from a cheat day Victoria, its fine.”

“I know, I’m just saying,” Victoria rolled her eyes. “It fucking sucks that everything nice is bad for you,” she added and Max hummed in agreement.

They were sitting shoulder to shoulder on the couch, plates on their laps, a blanket draped over their legs and a silly movie that neither paid attention to on TV. Victoria was too busy trying to ignore the close proximity their bodies in and Max- Well, Max seemed oblivious to it all.

“Ugh, this movie is so cheesy,” Max’ groan brought Victoria back to reality.

“I thought your hipster ass liked cheesy rom-coms,” she prayed that her face wasn’t as flushed as she felt it to be as she joked and playfully nudged the girl next to her.

“This is on a whole other level of cheesiness, though. It’s too much even for me.” Max nudged back. Victoria suggested to put something else on or even turn the TV off entirely, but Max shook her head. “It’s fine, it’s almost over anyways. I wanna see if the guy gets the girl.”

“As if there’s any way he doesn’t,” Victoria rolled her eyes. “She could move to a different planet and the movie gods would still find a way for them to be together, that’s how it always goes in these movies.” She didn’t even try to hide her dislike for movies like that. Max let out a laugh but said nothing, choosing to spend the remainder of the movie in silence.

* * *

 

“You can go up to my room if you want. I’ll clean up a bit and I’ll be right up,” came Victoria’s voice from the kitchen and that was when it hit Max. She hadn’t seen Victoria’s room yet. She didn’t know how it had slipped by her, but the blonde had, obviously quite skillfully, avoided that particular room during the house tour she had given her a few hours before. “It’s the second door on the left as you go up the stairs.” Victoria’s head popped through the kitchen door and Max nodded. Of course she wanted to go up to her room, she wasn’t about to let such an opportunity slide a second time.

She hastily, but not too hastily, she didn’t want to seem desperate after all, made her way upstairs and opened the door Victoria had said was to her room. She gaped. To say it was huge would be an understatement. Max would bet that this room alone was almost as big as half her house. She knew that, realistically, this wasn’t true, her house wasn’t small in any way either, but it definitely felt this way. She came to the conclusion that that was because of how actually empty the room was. There was a big, king-sized bed, complete with bed curtains and everything, the sight of it caused her to snort. The walls were a pale beige, almost white and all the furniture where pale in color as well. Victoria’s desk sat on the wall opposite her bed, surrounded by a very neat and orderly bookcase filled mostly with books about photography and writing. She didn’t know Victoria was into writing as well. There was a section of books cut off from the rest and Max just had to know what those were. Crime novels, as she discovered when she walked closer. One or two YA novels as well and apparently the entire Harry Potter series. Collectors’ edition too, with the special covers.

Looking around the rest of the room, there was one more corner that stood out. With her next target in sight, she made a beeline for a set of shelves that looked almost hidden in the corner of the room. She felt a huge smile forming on her lips when she realized what she was seeing. Rows and rows of anime DVDs, comics, a PlayStation controller, she had to find the actual console later, Victoria’s video game collection and at least a dozen anime figurines and statues; all female, she noted, and all scantily dressed. She didn’t know how much time had past exactly, but she was caught with a statue in her hands as Victoria walked in holding two steaming cups of what she would later find out to be tea and hot chocolate. They stared at each other for a second as Max’ face split into a grin.

“You’re a geek!” she exclaimed, unable to stop herself from smiling, causing Victoria to roll her eyes. She knew, of course, that the blonde had a hidden side to her, but she never thought she’d get to confront her about it.

“Put that down, Maxine, it’s fucking expensive. I don’t want you breaking it,” Victoria said without missing a beat as she placed the two mugs on her desk and walked towards Max. “And stop fucking smiling, it’s not like you found my porn stash.” She took another step closer, her hands softly touching Max’ as she took the statue from her. “It’s under the bed, in case you’re interested,” she continued with a wink in that low voice again, the one that made Max’ brain short-circuit.

“Uh… N-no, it- it’s okay, I’m… I’m good. Thanks.” The red of her cheeks matched the red of her sweater and Victoria let out a laugh.

“You know...” Max felt Victoria’s breath on her lips. When had she gotten this close? And, most importantly, why was Max not backing away? “Had I not known any better, I’d say you’re a complete prude.” Victoria had almost said ‘virgin’ but she stopped herself in fear of going too far. “But you’re not, are you? Not with the way your tongue was in my mouth the other day.” Max gulped, suddenly feeling hot. She could stop this. She _should_ stop this. She knew Victoria would back down if she showed her she was uncomfortable. Yet… she _wasn’t_ uncomfortable. And she _didn’t_ want to stop. The realization hit her like a ton of bricks.

“Victoria…” she managed to say and it sounded suspiciously like a moan. If her face could get any redder than it already was, this would be the moment to do so. She both saw and heard Victoria’s breath hitch in the back of her throat and, in a moment of courage, she placed her hands on either side of the blonde’s waist, pulling her slightly and causing her to gasp.

“I’m not drunk now…” Victoria mumbled as her lips ghosted over Max’. The only thing the shorter girl could make her body do was shake her head negatively. She felt soft lips touch her own and then move away again. “And this is still what I want,” she continued and paused, waiting for Max to either pull her closer or push her away. Giving her a chance to walk away from it all.

“It is…” Max whispered instead, her voice thick and raspy. She could have sworn she saw Victoria’s eyes darken and she wondered if hers looked the same. It was her turn to be bold now. She pushed forward, standing on her toes as she connected her lips with Victoria’s, there was nothing timid about it this time. She heard Victoria inhale deeply as she moved her lips in time to hers and she was pretty sure she heard a soft moan as well, though she wasn’t sure if it was Victoria’s or her own.

Suddenly, and without breaking contact, Max felt herself being pushed backwards and towards the bed, the kiss growing increasingly heated with every passing second. The back of her legs hit the edge of the bed and her knees buckled, bringing Victoria down with her. Being straddled by Victoria Chase was probably the hottest thing she had experienced in her life. So far.

She let her tongue swipe across Victoria’s bottom lip, loving the sound it elicited from the girl. The blonde opened her mouth without even thinking about it, eager to deepen the kiss, not even registering both their hips moving against each other, desperate for some friction.

She felt Max’ hand snake its way under her shirt, her nails scratching her side softly and she gasped. “Did Chloe teach you how to do that?” she whispered, not registering the words coming out of her mouth either.

Max’ breath hitched. “Don’t…” she panted. “Don’t talk about Chloe right now…” Victoria nodded hastily, a muffled apology coming out of her mouth before bringing her lips back to Max’.

Supporting herself with one hand, Victoria brought the other between them, cupping Max’ breast and causing her to moan. There was no doubt in the brunette’s mind this time about whose moan that had been. Victoria pushed her hips down. With her thigh between Max’ legs, the movement brought pleasure to both of them. The blonde’s hands worked as if they had a mind of their own as they reached the hem of Max’ shirt and tugged upwards. Victoria paused, pulled her head back and looked deep in Max’ eyes, searching for any sign that she should stop. She found none, however, and she was elated when she saw the girl nod and felt her hips jolt against her thigh. Before either of them knew it, their kiss was broken and Max raised her arms, helping Victoria as she pulled her shirt off. She felt goosebumps traveling down her body as she was hit with the sudden chilliness of the air, but not for long. Victoria lowered her lips from Max’ own to her jawline to her collar bones, making the brunette feel a whole different kind of goosebumps. She instinctively brushed her fingers through Victoria’s short hair as she felt her trailing kisses lower and lower, her body arching at the contact. She didn’t know what she was doing; she had never done this before. Maybe that was something Victoria needed to know… Maybe she wouldn’t want to do this if she knew that Max was a virgin. She shut her eyes tightly and shook her head, willing the thoughts away. If there was a bad moment to start over-thinking things, this had to be it.

Everything stopped as fast as it had begun. One moment Victoria’s lips were leaving kisses all over Max’ body, and the next they were gone. Max opened her eyes, confusion clearly set on her features as she looked at the girl in front of her. There was a panicked expression on Victoria’s face, which had suddenly lost all its color. In lightning speed, the blonde climbed down from on top of Max and made a dash to the door locking it as quietly as she could. Max’ eyes followed her as she moved to the window and peered outside.

“What’s going on?” she asked in a low, confused voice as she reached for her discarded shirt and put it on before also making her way to the window. Victoria didn’t reply; not immediately. Instead, she moved to the side and opened the curtains ever-so-slightly so that Max could see for herself. “Shit,” she muttered and they both knew that was the understatement of the century. The woman Max had come to know was Victoria’s mother was walking toward the house, every step she would take filling Max with dread.

“You need to hide,” was all Victoria said as she closed the curtains and checked herself in her mirror, composing herself before walking to the door. “I’ll deal with this, you stay here and don’t make a fucking sound.” Max nodded once. “I’m sorry…” Victoria muttered as she unlocked the door and made her way outside, leaving Max alone and, to be quite honest, terrified.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys thought it was all gonna be fluff?? Come on! Though it was for the most part so... yay? xD Drop me a word if you liked this one. Or even if you didn't, drop me a word anyways. Drop me multiple words! Come chat with me over on tumblr too @itsaroseforrose ^^  
> As always, thaaaank you for the kudos and the comments, they ever fail to make my day!


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's only a few weeks after Easter so... Happy New Year, y'all! Have a Christmas-y chapter in the middle of spring! Hope you enjoy the angst-infused eggnog <3

Max had no idea what had happened. There was no yelling, no banging of doors, and definitely no Chase matriarch bursting into Victoria’s room threatening to kill her as she expected. It had all been a blur of fast movements and hushed voices and now Max found herself back in her room, trying to piece everything together. She was still mulling everything over in bed when her mother had knocked on her door, letting her know that she should get ready because it was getting late and everyone would be there soon to celebrate the new year. Being in a house filled with people was the last thing Max wanted, but she knew there was no way out of it.

It wasn’t as bad as she thought it was going to be. People began arriving at about ten o’clock and Max was actually excited to see some of her cousins again after having lost touch since probably the Christmas prior. She was no social butterfly, but she still enjoyed catching up with people closer to her age. She spoke briefly to her aunts and uncles about school, which was one of the two subjects they always seemed to care about, and she had somewhat skillfully managed to avoid talking about the second topic of interest, her love life. Why everyone was so hellbent on finding out about something like that, she could never understand. Which was exactly why she never let anything slip out of her mouth. It was a little after eleven when the doorbell rang once again.

“Are we expecting anyone else?” Max asked as she looked around the room, trying to see who was missing.

“Your uncle Pete isn’t here yet, but I don’t know if he’s coming. He never called me back,” came Vanessa’s room from the kitchen. “Why, is someone at the door?” she asked walking out of the room, a bowl of… something in her hands.

“I’ll go check,” Max simply stated as she made her way to the front door, mentally preparing herself for the forceful hug her father’s brother was known for. She was prepared for the wrong thing. Her brows furrowed in confusion as she swung the door open, words failing to come out of her mouth.

“Hey,” came the greeting after a tense moment of silence, snapping Max back to reality.

“H- hi, Victoria, hi. I uh… What are you doing here?” Her question didn’t sound the way she intended it to and she cringed.

“I can go,” Victoria arched a perfectly shaped eyebrow.

“What? No, no, that came out wrong. Come in!” Max shook her head vigorously and stepped aside to let Victoria in the house.

“Sorry I come not bearing gifts,” the blonde said as she took off her coat. “I didn’t exactly have enough time to go shopping,” she explained and frowned at the weird sound of dismissal Max made.

“We don’t care about presents here,” she replied after clearing her throat, hoping the moment of embarrassment hadn’t caused her to blush. 

“Who is it, Maxie?” The girls had only taken a couple of steps in the house when a voice rang out from the kitchen. “If it’s your uncle Pete tell him to get some decent manners and let people know when he’s actually going to show up!” she continued, knowing fully that, whoever the new arrival was, could hear her perfectly. Max chuckled.

“Either uncle Pete has changed a lot since I last saw him, or that’s not him,” she joked as she and Victoria walked in the kitchen.

“Victoria, hi!” the woman’s face split into a smile as soon as her eyes landed on the blonde. “How are you, darling?” She hastily put down the spoon she was holding and moved to give Victoria a tight hug. One that the girl had been expecting, given it had happened every time she had seen the woman since her first time over at the house.

“Hello, Mrs. Caulf- Vanessa, sorry,” she laughed softly. “I’m so sorry I dropped in unannounced, I texted Max a couple of hours ago but she never replied.”

“Way to throw me under the bus,” came Max’ mumbling, but went ignored by both women. “In my defense, my phone is upstairs charging, there’s no way I could have heard it.”

“Always ready with an excuse this one,” Vanessa laughed. “Nevermind that now, it’s really good to have you here, Victoria,” she smiled a smile that reached all the way to her eyes and Victoria knew she was being genuine. “Off you go now, you two. I have a feeling you don’t exactly want to spend the night in here,” the woman continued shooing the two out of the kitchen. “Oh, and be sure to try the eggnog, it’s a family recipe!”

“My mum must really like you if she’s offering you eggnog just like that,” Max said as she led Victoria to the living room. “It took me ages to get her to let me taste it,” she grumbled. Victoria was about to answer when a guy came barreling towards them and wrapped his arm around Max’ shoulders making the brunette roll her eyes.

“Yo, Maxine, who’s your friend?” he said grinning. He had to be one of Max’ cousins, Victoria guessed. The family resemblance evident but not too strong.

“Fuck off, Dan, we’re busy,” Max laughed as she shoved the boy away. It was obvious, from their playful banter, that they were pretty close to each other. “We’ll call you if we need someone to mansplain us anything.” This caused the guy to laugh as he stepped away and turned to leave.

“Alright, well. You know where to find me.”

“Mum has locked the liquor cabinet this year!” Max yelled after him before turning to face Victoria. “Sorry about that,” she apologized feeling slightly awkward. “It’s my cousin, Daniel. He’s… well, you saw how he is. Last year, he managed to go through two bottles of scotch by himself. That’s why the drinks are locked away this year,” she explained, causing a smile to appear on Victoria’s lips.

“You know,” Victoria started, “I never really thought about it in the past, but it makes sense that you come from one of _those_ families. You know; loud and obnoxious.” She laughed and Max followed suit, knowing that the words meant no harm. “You’re like a whole different person around them, Max. So open and… happy. It’s a nice change.” Max felt a blush make its way to her cheeks. Maybe Victoria didn’t pay any compliments too often, but when she did, she really knew how to do it. Max wished she could say the same about Victoria’s family too, but the brief moments she had seen the girl’s mother were more than enough to show that it was the exact opposite for the blonde. “Where’s papa Caulfield?” she asked after a moment of silence. “I have lots to say to him after last time.” Max’ eyes squinted in confusion at that.

“Is this still about the hockey teams?” she asked and let out a groan at Victoria’s nod. “Keep this up and he’ll invite you to a game with us just to show you how wrong you are,” she chuckled. “Anyways, he’s in the living room I think, probably talking hockey with uncle John. You do _not_ want to get in the middle of that conversation, though…” Victoria’s eyes gleamed slightly at that.

“Oh?” She crossed her arms in front of her chest and raised an eyebrow. “And what do I want to do?”

“Uh… Hang out with me instead? I’ve been told I’m pretty decent company.”

“You’re okay, I suppose,” Victoria chuckled. “Come on, Caulfield. Let’s break into the liquor cabinet.”

“Wait, what?” Victoria had already begun walking away by the time Max had processed her words. “No, Victoria, wait!” she chased after her.

* * *

They didn’t end up breaking into the liquor cabinet. Victoria had been joking, apparently, costing Max at least five years of her life in the process. It was almost midnight when they found themselves outside by the front door, sitting on a porch swing, glasses of eggnog in hand. Eggnog that Victoria could have sworn had copious amounts of alcohol in it but decided not to say anything.

It was nice. The darkness that was only broken by the flashing Christmas lights that decorated the houses, the voices and the music coming from all around, loud enough to be heard but not too loud to be annoying, the laughter… Victoria couldn’t remember the last time she had spent New Year’s like that. She couldn’t even remember if she had ever spent New Year’s like that. With her family, New Year’s always meant a white Christmas tree to match with the apparent theme of the house, no other unnecessary, according to her parents, decorations, and a hasty “Happy New Year” when the first fireworks were heard, signaling the change of years. This, however, was nothing like that and she found herself anxiously waiting for the cliche, albeit most welcome countdown that was fastly approaching.

Max had tried to talk about Victoria’s family again, but she learned that the subject was a no-no as the blonde had shot her down more than once. She had apologized again for her behavior that very morning, however, and she had briefly explained that her mother hadn’t realized there was anyone else in the house after all. She had apparently been fighting with her husband, again, as the blonde had clarified, so she had walked right past the kitchen and straight to the carafe of wine she kept in the living room, making it all the easier for her daughter to grab anything that was out of place without the woman noticing. _‘So that explains the lack of yelling…’_ Max couldn’t help but think as she listened to Victoria speak.

“I kinda want to ask how come you’re not spending today with them but… I feel like I shouldn’t do that.”

Victoria chuckled. “Leave it to Maxine Caulfield to ask something even when she feels like she shouldn’t.”

“You’re not gonna stop calling me Maxine, are you?” Max teased, but it was obvious from the look she gave Victoria that it was a genuine question and the blonde's eyes softened at that.

“I will if it really bothers you…”

“You can call me Maxine if I can call you Tori,” Max bargained causing Victoria to gasp dramatically, a hand on her chest.

“You wouldn’t!”

“Try me.” The blonde was about to reply when the door suddenly swung open, making them both jump in surprise.

“Max!” came Dan’s voice as he walked outside. “Quit smooching your girlfriend and come inside.” He laughed as Max’ face went beet red. “It’s almost time for the countdown.”

“She’s not my girlfriend,” she half-yelled and got up, leaving Victoria to follow. “And we’re not… smooching,” she muttered as she made her way inside, head bowed in an attempt to hide her blush.

“She means we’re not smooching right now,” Victoria stated as she walked past Dan and winked at him, causing his jaw to go slightly slack.

The countdown was everything Victoria had seen in the movies. Everyone was gathered in front of the TV, glasses in hands and huge smiles adorning their faces; some, like Daniel who had apparently had one too many glasses of eggnog, more flushed than the others. Victoria looked to her left and smiled at how Max seemed to be beaming, her eyes glued to the screen. She must have sensed someone watching her, however, cause she raised her head and threw a wide smile at the blonde who found herself returning it in equal intensity. Just as the countdown started, Victoria felt a hand slip in her own and squeeze it slightly. As everyone around yelled “one”, the lights were suddenly turned off and everyone started clapping and laughing, wishing a happy new year to no one and everyone at once.

“Hey,” Victoria felt a tug where Max’ hand was still clutching her own. She grinned at the brunette and felt her breath hitch as she saw her move closer. If she was being honest, she did expect to get a midnight kiss, but she thought she would be the one to initiate it as Max didn’t exactly seem the type. She was wrong though, she realized, as she found herself being pulled slightly downwards, her lips meeting Max’ halfway. It was brief and chaste and oh-so-tender; Victoria felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. And based on the stuttering breath that had escaped Max’ lips, the shorter girl had probably felt the same as well.

“Happy new year,” Max smiled when green eyes fell on hers, her voice soft.

Victoria smiled back, her hand squeezing the girl’s gently. “Happy new year, Caulfield,” she replied, her forehead resting on Max’ for a brief second. They blinked and pulled apart when the lights turned back on and everyone started moving around, hugging and kissing and wishing. It was a whole new experience for Victoria, seeing family members being so close to one another. She saw Vanessa and Ryan hug their daughter tightly, their eyes shining with all the love in the world and the blonde knew that that was exactly what Max deserved. Suddenly, she too found herself being pulled into a hug, one which she managed to relax into after only a second. The Caulfields both wished her a happy new year, their eyes so warm and welcoming, she wasn’t sure she had actually earned any of it. She did enjoy it, however, she wasn’t going to deny that. Just like she wasn’t going to deny that, now more than ever, she really hoped this was going to be a happy and good year.

It was almost three o’clock when Victoria decided it was time for her to leave the Caulfield household. She denied Vanessa’s -and Max’- offers for her to stay the night since it was already really late and it would be dangerous for her to go back now, saying how she would just call Clint to drive her home.

“It is his job, after all.” She stood at the door, putting on her jacket as she waited for the tell-tale sound of the family’s car horn. Max stood slightly behind, watching her with a frown on her face.

“I still don’t like it,” she stated, but she knew there was little she could actually do about it. If Victoria was anything, that would be stubborn.

The blonde smiled. “Look, I’ll text you as soon as I get home, okay?”

“Fine. But if you don’t, I’ll drive over there myself and kill you.” Victoria laughed, but she knew there was some truth in the other girl’s words. Not on the killing part as much as the driving over in the middle of the night part. It seemed like something Max would actually do. Not too long after, Clint was outside, the soft sound of the car horn signaling his arrival.

“Well, that’s me,” Victoria smiled once again. “Thanks for having me, Caulfield. It was actually really nice being here.” She ignored the part of her brain telling her to go in for a kiss and took a step towards the door instead.

“Thanks for coming, Chase,” Max chuckled. Her own brain telling her to move for a hug, which she clearly did. She let her lips curve upwards as she wrapped her arms around Victoria and heard her breath hitch just for a second, before feeling the hug being returned.

“I should go,” the blonde mumbled after a few, too short in her opinion, moments. “Say bye to you parents and thank them for me, okay?” she smiled and walked out the door, hearing it shut behind her as she got in the car.

* * *

 ****_**(Victoria @03:48): Thanks again for tonight, Maxine. I wouldn’t be too opposed to repeating it ;)**_

It was almost an hour later when Max’ phone finally lit up with an incoming text, and the brunette felt relief wash over her. She hadn’t even realized how actually worried she was. She groaned at the name and quickly changed Victoria’s name on her phone before typing her reply.

**(Me @03:50): Well, Tori, maybe I wouldn’t be too opposed to that either. We’d have to wait a year tho lol  
**

****_**(Tori @03:50): Don’t.**_

Max snorted. She quickly took a screenshot, circled the name, complete with a crown and a bee emoji right next to it, and sent it to Victoria who, surprisingly enough, didn’t respond right away like she usually did.

**(Me @03:52):  
  
  
**

**(Me @03:52): Too late :3  
**

****_**(Tori @03:55): Fuck you, Shitfield**_

_**(Tori @03:55): What even are those emojis, you hipster trash?** _

**(Me @03:56): It’s a crown and a bee, duh. I thought it was pretty obvious  
**

****_**(Tori @03:57): Don’t be surprised if I never speak to you again**_

**(Me @03:58): Goodnight to you too, Tori ;)  
  
**

Victoria never replied after that and, as the next day rolled by, Max had begun to believe that the girl would, in fact, never speak to her again. And for the next three days, she didn’t.

Max had brushed the first couple of days off, thinking something must have come up for Victoria to not text her at all. She could feel worry in the pit of her stomach, but she pushed it away. It wasn’t like Victoria had any obligation to talk to her all the time, right? She was officially really worried by day three. She decided to send a quick, kind of generic text just to make sure everything was okay, but it had gone unanswered. Just like the next few messages she sent. By the end of day three, Max was beyond worried and beyond angry. It was only a few hours before they had to leave and return to Arcadia Bay, and she hadn’t spoken to the blonde since New Year’s. Her parents, ever the observant ones, had noticed that something was going on, but had dropped the Victoria subject after a few failed attempts to get their daughter to talk to them about it.

Packing her suitcase consisted of her throwing clothes inside while muttering intelligibly, Victoria’s name sometimes clear among the rambling, usually accompanied by some not-so-nice characterizations that, under normal circumstances, would never even be in the brunette’s mind. Suddenly, and just as she was about to sit on her suitcase and zip it shut ( _‘maybe I should have actually folded the clothes after all…’_ ), her phone chimed and she froze. She forced the bubbling feeling of excitement down and deliberately walked slowly towards the device. No matter how little she told herself she wanted it, she was still hoping that the text was indeed from Victoria. It was. The wave of relief she had felt the moment she read the name was quickly replaced by what felt suspiciously close to anger. Swallowing the lump that had formed in the back of her throat, the brunette tapped on the notification. She wished she hadn’t done that, however, as she suddenly found herself wanting to throw her phone away and scream in frustration. There was no apology for her to read, not that she really expected that from the other girl, but she still harbored some hope. No, what she read instead was a short sentence that did nothing to either calm her worries or her anger.

“Well, fuck you too, Victoria,” she muttered as she turned her phone off and chucked it away.

**_(Tori @22:16): See you on the plane_ **

* * *

Max audibly huffed as she saw the familiar blonde hair of the girl sitting in the window seat, earphones already in her ears, her head turned to look outside. She threw her bag on the empty aisle seat causing Victoria to jump slightly and turn to look at her. There was a sad look in her eyes, but Max was not about to start feeling sorry for her. Not before she got an explanation anyway.

Neither of them spoke as Max struggled to push her carry-on in the compartment overhead. The silence continued to add weight on them as she sat down and fastened her seatbelt. She could feel Victoria following her with her eyes, but she made a point not to look at her.

“I’m surprised you didn’t change your seat,” the brunette finally said a couple of minutes after they had taken off, her head never turning to the side, seemingly too busy messing with her phone to actually look at the person next to her.

“I could say the same about you,” Victoria mumbled as she once again turned to stare out the window.

“I’m not the one who avoided you like the fucking plague for days.” There was no emotion evident in Max’ voice and it made Victoria cringe.

“Yeah, well…”

“Are you shitting me, Victoria?” Max’ head snapped towards the blonde for the first time since she saw her, her voice bordering to yelling. “That’s it? That’s all you have to say? Victoria if I did something, I deserve to know what it was. And if I didn’t, then I deserve to know what the fuck happened.” Her voice was hushed now, but that didn’t mean it was calmer in any way.

“What do you want me to say, Max? That I’m sorry? Well, I am. I’m sorry, you didn’t do anything, it was all me. And I’m sorry I didn’t text you or talk to you or... “ the blonde took a deep breath in an attempt to gather her thoughts. “You deserve better,” she settled on saying a moment later.

Max felt conflicted. She wanted to press on, insist until Victoria broke and told her what had happened, but the way Victoria spoke to her, it made her rethink that. The girl seemed sad and withdrawn, nothing like her three-days-ago self.

Max sighed and put her phone away. “Do you… Do you maybe wanna talk about it?”

“Talk about why I’m such an asshole? This is hardly the time for any kind of self-deprecating discovery.”

“Talk about anything that’s bothering you,” the brunette clarified with a roll of her eyes. “Just cause I’m mad at you, doesn’t mean I can’t listen… Or that I don’t want to.”

“You’re too good for this world, Maxine,” Victoria let out a soft laugh. “Careful. It’ll eat you up in the end.”

“Um… You’re kind of scaring me, so…”

“I finished up the essay parts of our assignment,” Victoria said instead, her attempts to change the subject too obvious to go unnoticed. “I also figured that for the ‘no’ parts, instead of just writing down how many people refused to have their picture taken, we could use the shots of us after we were denied taking a photo. Simply stating that people said no to us isn’t the same. We could easily cheat at that. I know we don’t have ten ‘rejection photos’ of us, but we do have three each so we only need four more. I’d understand if you don’t want to go out and work with me, so I thought you could ask Kate to come with you maybe and I could ask Taylor or something.”

Max was left staring. _‘What the fuck…’_ “Uh... sounds good...? And I don’t mind working with you,” she said a second later when her brain started working again. “And wouldn’t asking other people to help up be cheating too?” she went along with Victoria, deciding not to push her any further for the time being and locking all her questions and anger away for when they were in a less public place.

“It would. But it would also make sense if you didn’t want me as a partner.”

“If I was fine with you as a partner during that science assignment when you actually went out of your way to sabotage me, I’m definitely okay with you as a partner now.” Victoria laughed a little at the obvious attempt at a joke.

* * *

Victoria’s phone went off the moment they landed. She took one look at the screen before groaning and shoving it in her purse, clearly not wanting to talk to whoever was looking for her. She ignored Max’ curious stare as they both stood up and went to grab their carry-ons.

“So… Are we taking the bus or…” Max shuffled her feet awkwardly as the two waited for their luggage by the carousel.

“Taxi,” Victoria stated, her eyes glued to the screen of her phone, her features slightly distorted by a frown.

Ten minutes later, the two girls were sitting on the back of a taxi, well on their way back to Blackwell. It was Monday and only then did it occur to Max that they had just skipped an entire day of classes. She let out a quiet laugh at the thought. They had photography on Mondays and she was certain Mrs. Hault was going to ask everyone about their progress on the assignment. Had Victoria purposely arranged their trip so that they would have a little extra time to work without the teacher breathing down their necks?

“What?” came the blonde’s voice suddenly, accompanied by a raised eyebrow.

“Nothing, I just… Thought of something.” Victoria was about to say something when her phone went off again. She took looked at the screen and immediately turned it off, ignoring the annoying buzzing. “Whoever it is, they really wanna talk to you,” Max commented in a nonchalant tone.

“It’s Taylor, she can wait until we get back.” It wasn’t Taylor, Max knew as much. Victoria never frowned when Taylor called her.

The next time her phone went off, they were only five minutes away from the campus. With an exasperated mutter, Victoria decided to pick up this time and, if Max had her doubts about the caller actually being Taylor, she now knew that it definitely wasn’t.

“What?” Victoria’s voice was hushed and obviously tense and annoyed. “I was busy... Well, I picked up now... Are you fucking kidding me? No, who gave you the fucking right?... I’ll call him when I want to. You know what, maybe I won’t call him at all, see how that goes!” Max frowned as she listened to only one end of the conversation Victoria was having. “Yeah, you lost that right when you called me a dyke.” The brunette’s eyes widened, a gasp escaping her lips. She looked away in an attempt to not draw attention to herself. “I don’t care what you think is right, if you think I’m gonna listen to you, you’re fucking deluded.” The voice on the other end of the phone could still be heard as Victoria groaned and hung up.

“So… I’m guessing that wasn’t Taylor.”

“What gave it away, Sherlock?”

Max simply rolled her eyes. “Wanna maybe talk about it now? Is that… Is that the reason why you’ve been so distant?”

“You mean why I’ve been such a huge jerk and ignored the shit out of you for three days after everything that happened?”

“Hey, your words, not mine,” they both chuckled slightly. “But yeah, that’s basically what I mean.”

“I don’t think we’re in the right place for a talk like this,” Victoria stated and let her eyes look away from the girl next to her.

“O- oh, yeah, okay. I just- I thought you… we… Yeah, I get it,” Max finally managed to say after stumbling on her words for what felt like an eternity.

“I mean the actual place, Max,” Victoria clarified with an amused look on her face. “The taxi, not our relationship.” She froze. She tried hard to find the right words to help her backpedal, but she couldn’t come up with anything. “We should talk about it later,” she settled, relieved when Max nodded and didn’t press on.

* * *

Max' eyes snapped open at the sound of someone knocking on her door. She had no idea when she had fallen asleep,  but it made sense to her that she would be exhausted. She hadn’t slept much or even well during the last few days, and she could feel her energy reserves dwindling. Catching up with Kate was the last thing is remembered doing with some clarity, everything after that was a blur. She guessed she had fallen asleep shortly after returning to her dorm after the two girls’ tea-drinking session.

“You really should check your phone more often, I texted you like an hour ago.” Victoria walked inside like she owned the place.

“I was asleep.”

“We can talk later.”

“No, I’m awake now,” Max moved hastily to close the door when she saw Victoria turn to leave. She blinked in surprise when the blonde shoved an orange bottle of pills in her hands.

“I’m... I'm not in a- in a good place,” she muttered. “Mentally, I mean.” She took a deep breath as she sat herself on Max’ bed. “You obviously already know that I’ve been seeing a therapist, one you have yet to visit, by the way, don’t think I forgot about that, but it’s- it’s been getting worse. Seeing my parents now… Well, it didn’t help. I was wrong to be a bitch towards you, I know that and I’m sorry.” Victoria’s eyes jumped around the room and Max could tell she was struggling to look at her. She moved slowly and sat down on the bed next to the blonde, the pills in the bottle rattling slightly as she played with it. “These are for my anxiety,” came Victoria’s voice after a while and she grimaced as she stared at the objects in the brunette’s hands. “Antidepressants… My uh… My parents weren’t too happy about them. Told me to keep anyone from finding out. Fuck, I don’t even know why I still listen to them.” She felt a soft squeeze on her shoulder and she unconsciously leaned into the touch.

“You don’t have to explain if you don’t want to.”

“No. No, I want to. I owe you an apology and… Well, I’ve listened to you so many times, now you get to do the same,” they both chuckled at Victoria’s attempt to lighten the mood. “I haven’t been going to my therapist,” the blonde continued after a moment of neither of them talking. “I don’t really know why, I just- well, I didn’t want to, I guess. After what happened with Nathan... It’s hard to find the will to do anything to be honest. I mean, things were already shitty enough and then he went and killed himself and it was like… It was all too much.” She sighed as Max nodded, not wanting to interrupt in any way. "I was stupid, though, I know that. Therapists are supposed to help in situations like these, aren’t they? Pills too, that’s why they prescribe them. I made my own bed when I stopped taking them…” There was a heavy cloud of silence hovering around them as Victoria stopped talking. Max hesitantly turned to look at the blonde, her heart breaking at the sight of unshed tears in her eyes. It was like she was trying hard not to cry, but she was slowly losing the battle. “I'm not telling you any of this for you to pitty me," she continued after a while, her voice slightly hoarse. "I'm only telling you so you can see where I'm coming from. I shouldn’t have ignored you the way I did... I’m sorry.”

"I wouldn't ever dream of pitying you, Victoria. But... you could have _not_ been a dick and texted me.” Victoria let out a soft laugh. “I’d have understood if you wanted to be alone, we all need that sometimes. Your jackassery is forgiven, though, don’t worry about it.” Max moved her arm to hug the blonde’s shoulders. “I won’t be this gracious in the future, though,” she joked. “Just- please talk to me next time?”

Victoria laughed as she hastily brought her hand to her face, wiping a stray tear that had managed to roll down her cheek. “You’re too nice for your own good, Caulfield. I promise I won’t take advantage of that.”

“You better not. I can’t be like really mean if I want to.” A loud laugh escaped the blonde’s mouth, quickly followed by Max’ own whose hold tightened a little around the other girl’s shoulders. "Hey, remember how you said that this assignment wouldn't end up being one of those tropes where two people are forced to work together and end up opening up to each other and becoming friends?"

"Shut up, Caulfield."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really, honestly did try to avoid the angst. But it obviously got out of hand and infected like half the chapter... I should probably give our girls a break at some point...  
> As always, THANK YOU for your comments and kudos and everything, I love you guys!


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Babes! Hi! I know, I know, it's been ages... Life has been a little bitch and writers' block hit me pretty hard. That said, here's a new chapter, finally! I still don't know how I feel about this cause it's obviously filler (but hey, those are still needed too in a story), and it's also kind of a different format from what I usually write. Like I said, I didn't really know how to continue this in a believable way, so this is a series of... snapshots? I guess? from Max and Victoria's time together. It's a pretty personal chapter for me, actually, cause some of what I'm writing in it are things that my kinda ex gf and I did at one point or an other. Anyways, so sorry if it's confusing in any way, let me know if it is and I'll try to clear everything up!  
> Once again, a huge thank you to everyone who's been reading, leaving kudos and comments and being all around awesome. Thanks, you guys! ^^

“So you’ve never been to a gay bar before?” Max shook her head, her hands nervously playing with the bottom of her shirt as her and Victoria walked down a dark alley. It had been three weeks since their… hiccup, as Max would call it, and things had once again been looking up. Victoria chuckled. “Try not to look too much like it’s your first time. I was such a fish out of the water my first time there, but it’s actually really fun. You’ll like it, it’s right up your alley. Hipster music, geeky girls with flannel… Pretty much every lesbian stereotype actually. And don’t worry, you’re not gonna get hit on. Girls are respectful, they won’t bother someone who’s obviously already on a date,” she explained as she took a right turn, pulling Max along by her elbow.   


_‘So this_ is _a date,’_ Max chuckled at the thought. It felt like both of them had been walking on eggshells around one another. Being close, but not too close. The nights they had spent watching movies together would almost always end with them asleep, limbs carelessly thrown over each other. But they would always have an excuse for that. And when they didn’t, they would just not talk about it. It wasn’t ideal or even healthy, Max knew that and she was pretty sure Victoria knew it too, yet neither of them made the first step.   


“Unless of course you want to get hit on, in which case we’ll just make it clear that we’re friends and not on a date. We should probably make that clear now, though. Just to… You know, just so we know what we’re doing.” She was rambling again and Max knew she was nervous. She always rambled when she felt that way.  


“I don’t want to get hit on,” Max stated simply and Victoria’s eyes gleamed slightly, her head nodding as a small smile made its way to her lips. The brunette smiled back, content that her words apparently had the desired effect.  


It was a very pretty bar. Small and warm and… homey. Not at all like what Max had expected.  


“I thought you said this was the ‘ultimate gay bar’,” she stated as she looked around, her eyes taking in the details.  


“I did, didn’t I?” Victoria chuckled. “What’s the matter, Caulfield? Got too caught up in the stereotypes?” she joked as she led them to a table near the bar. “This is where we come if we want to relax. You know, nice drinks, good music, warm people… Not everything has to be a party.” Max never asked who “we” were and Victoria never explained.   


They talked a little until a pretty waitress with auburn hair in a side braid and a cute french accent came to take their orders. Victoria chatted easily with her in a tone that showed she already knew her. They both laughed when the blonde pretended to be offended when she asked for her favorite wine and the girl told her they had apparently stopped serving that a while ago. She settled with two glasses of mulled wine instead, the waitress smiling as she wrote down the order and left.  


“That’s Cecile,” she explained leaning closer to Max to help her voice be heard over the music. “She’s a bit older than us, been working here for ages.”  


“You seem to know her quite well.”  


“Not _too_ well. She kept me company one day I was waiting for Taylor. We bonded over the Great Gatsby book which we had both been reading at the time and I make it a point to talk to her every time I come here. She’s pretty cool.” Max simply nodded, her mind too busy trying to make sense of the weird feeling in the pit of her stomach. Had she not known any better, she would think it was something akin to jealousy.  


“There you go,” the redhead waitress, _Cecile_ , arrived again not five minutes later with their drinks and a small bowl of peanuts.  


“Thanks, babe,” Victoria smiled at her sweetly and Max felt her jaw tense.  


“Enjoy,” Cecile reflected the blonde’s smile, only she directed it to both her and Max. “Oh, Victoria,” the way she pronounced the girl’s name sounded so sexy to Max, it made her skin tingle. She hated it. “I have been reading that book you gave me, it’s so good! I cannot put it down,” she laughed and Victoria followed suit.  


“I told you you’d like it!” The two chatted a little more as Max watched them, their actual words becoming white noise in the back of her head as she focused on their expressions and gestures. They seemed comfortable with each other, but not more comfortable than two friends would be. She briefly wondered if that’s how her and Victoria appeared in the eyes of other people, or if theirs was a different kind of comfortable. It took her a second to realize that Cecile was now gone and Victoria was looking at her, clearly having said something and now waiting for an answer.  


“I’m sorry, what?” Max blinked herself back to reality. The blonde chuckled.  


“Where are you off to, Caulfield?” she asked, but got no answer. “I asked if you’d tried mulled wine before,” she continued after a moment. “It’s a little weird the first time cause it’s warm and tastes kinda like cough syrup,” she laughed.   


Max cautiously smelled the drink, which made Victoria smile softly. It was one of those things Max would always do; smell before taste. She took a small sip, letting the liquid sit in her mouth for a moment while she tried to place the flavor. “I don’t know what kind of cough syrup you’ve been taking,” she stated when she gulped it down, “but this tastes nothing like that. It’s good though, it reminds me of Christmas,” she nodded and saw Victoria’s shoulders relax a little. “Pretty… interesting.”

* * *

“I am one mental breakdown away from dyeing my hair pink and joining a punk group.”    


“Hello to you too, Victoria. I’m great, how are you?” Max chuckled at the thought of a pink-haired Victoria as the currently still blonde girl burst into her room before the door was even fully open and plopped herself on the couch.  


“Don’t sass me, Maxine, I’m not in the fucking mood,” Victoria grumbled and Max knew that it was time to stop joking. Whatever had happened, it was clearly big enough to make Victoria do a 180 in less than half an hour. She shut the door and sat on the couch as well. Close enough to provide comfort, but far enough to give the other girl space and the chance to leave if she wanted to.  


“Wanna talk about it?” she asked after a moment of silence. “You were fine thirty minutes ago…”  


“I wasn’t fine thirty minutes ago, I was _great_ ,” she huffed. “I should have known that something would ruin that, it’s what always happens.”  


“What happened?” Max pressed on. “Was it your parents?” _‘Again,’_ she refrained from adding. It wasn’t a too wild of a guess, she was more than aware of the strained relationship between Victoria and her parents, even if she was still a little foggy on the details.  


“It’s just so… _amazing_ how one call can make me feel like shit, you know?” Max nodded, her hand rubbing slow circles on Victoria’s back as she waited for her to continue. “And they always call. They never text or email, they call. You know why? Cause they want to hear my fucking reaction to whatever they have to say to me! And you know they never call about anything good, obviously, so my reaction is never good either. I swear they’re getting off on this shit.”   


One thing Max had learned about Victoria was that the blonde wanted to vent sometimes. It wasn’t strange in any way, everyone needed to vent from time to time, but she had also learned that if she was interrupted at any point, the girl would clam up, raise her walls and refuse to talk no matter what. So Max sat there, hand dancing delicately around the blonde’s back, and listened to everything Victoria had to say, biting her tongue and holding herself back from saying what she really thought of the situation. She would have the chance to talk after Victoria was done ranting, she knew that. It was a pretty convenient arrangement too, since, most of the times, Max’ input was to state how terrible Victoria’s parents were and how she didn’t deserve them; which was something Victoria was well aware of anyway, so she could wait to say it.   


“They got a letter from that gallery in New York,” Victoria spoke up again after a moment of silence used to gather herself and her thoughts. “I fucking told them to contact me at this address, but did they do it? Of course not. So now my parents know I’ve been rejected. Again. As if they needed yet another reason to call and belittle me. And you know what the worst part is? I really thought I had a chance this time. I mean... I sent in some legit fucking work, Max. Some of my best shots were in that portfolio and the answer was still the same.” Max sighed and tightened her hold on Victoria slightly in a show of support. “Maybe it’s time to accept that my best just isn’t good enough. I could always go back to writing, I guess… I think I was good at that. Of course- well, I thought I was good at photography too, so... my judgment is nothing to go by.” Max wasn’t certain exactly when Victoria had stopped talking to her and begun talking to herself, but she was fairly certain that was what was going on for the past couple of minutes. “I only leaned towards photography for Mark fucking Jefferson, can you believe that?” she didn’t wait for an answer to her question. “So stupid… I was so- I don’t know, enchanted by what he did, I thought I could do the same. I should have seen the crash landing from miles away. You know what’s weird though? My parents never discouraged me. They never told me I was bad… Just that I could be better. No other input. And it’s so tiring… Trying to be better all the time when you don’t even know what you did wrong in the first place... I don’t know why I still seek their fucking approval after everything, but I do. Maybe cause I think that if I finally get that, then there won’t be anything that I won’t be able to get, you know? That makes sense…”  


“Do you maybe wanna hear what I think?” Max asked a few seconds later.  


Victoria chuckled softly despite herself. “I’m not gonna like it, am I?”  


“Well, that depends. I don’t have to say anything if you don’t want me to.”  


“We both know that’s not true, Maxine, so you might as well just go ahead.”  


“You don’t deserve this,” Max’ voice was soft but firm and Victoria knew that she meant what she was saying. “You don’t deserve to be treated this way by your own parents and they’re assholes for thinking that it’s okay to act like this.”  


“Tell me something I don’t know,” the blonde muttered.  


“You’re an amazing photographer and, as much as it surprises me to say it, you’re a pretty great person too. You know, beneath all the bitchiness, the attitude and the vibe of entitlement you give off.” She chuckled when Victoria punched her shoulder playfully and mentally patted herself on the back for managing to ease some of the tension.  


“You’re an asshole.”  


Max feigned a shocked and hurt expression. “Wow, and right after I told you you’re actually pretty nice. Gee, thanks, Victoria.”  


“Yeah, right before you listed all that’s bad about me!”  


“I didn’t list _everything_ that’s bad about you,” Max mumbled, knowing fully well that the blonde would hear her. That was the point, after all.  


Victoria laughed as she pushed the brunette away from her, using maybe just a little be more force than necessary. “I can’t believe I chose to start hanging out with you.”  


Max laughed at that but showed no intention of replying. She blushed slightly, instead, and pushed Victoria back. _‘Yeah, I can’t really believe that either,’_ she thought but chose to say out loud.

* * *

“No. Stop- Stop!” Max burst into laughter as Victoria pulled her abruptly closer to the train tracks. “If I die, it’ll be on you, you know,” she pulled her arm back and shoved the blonde playfully. She chuckled as Victoria made her way to one of the benches and sat and pulling her down with her. The train wouldn’t be there for another fifteen minutes so it was nice to have a place to sit for a bit. “So um… Can I ask you something?” she begun, loving the feeling of Victoria’s hand rubbing soothing circles on her palm.  


Victoria looked at her curiously, a strange gleam in her eyes. “Sure.”  


Pause. “What are we?” The blonde’s movements faltered but didn’t stop.  


“What do you mean?”  


“Are you… Are we just- you know, ‘hanging out’?” Max blushed slightly but pressed on. “Are you my girlfriend? What is this? I mean… We’ve been getting closer and- I think you’re my friend, but it also feels kinda… Well not so... _friendly_ per se. I just-” Victoria chuckled causing Max’ blush to deepen.  


“Do you want me to ask you?”  


“That would be nice actually…”  


“I’ll be your girlfriend if you’ll be mine,” the blonde smirked.  


“That’s not a question.”  


“It’s as close to a question as you’re gonna get.” She said knowingly and laughed, Max soon following suit. There was an old woman sitting next to them, intently and not at all discreetly listening to their every word. She smiled at the exchange and it made Victoria’s heart flutter. Seeing someone obviously older being this okay with that, it gave her hope.  


“So… What are we?” came the question again, making Victoria groan and roll her eyes. This was going to be fun.

* * *

_**(Sweet-T @14:34): Call me you little shit!**_  


**(Me @20:20): Come by my room. And don’t call me little shit, you slut! Xx  
  
**

It took Taylor all of three seconds to find herself knocking firmly on Victoria’s door.  


“Where’s the fucking fire, Tay?” Victoria laughed as Taylor stood there, her arm still raised and ready to continue knocking.  


“Oh look! You’re alive!” She hastily made her way inside, her eyes scanning the room for anything out of the ordinary. “Where the fuck have you been?” she asked as she turned around to look at her best friend, her eyes widening in recognition. “You were on a date!”  


“What?”  


“No wonder you took like six hours to text back! I was fucking worried, just so you know.”  


“How the fuck do you know I was on a date? _I_ didn’t know it was a real date.”

Taylor laughed and gave Victoria a disbelieving look. “Sure, you didn’t. Anyways, your clothes say otherwise.” She eyed the girl from head to toe. “You wore that same outfit on your date with that dude a few months ago. It’s your date outfit, don’t deny it!” Victoria could only roll her eyes and try to control the blush she felt creeping to her cheeks. “So. Tell me everything!” Taylor beamed excitedly. “I think I know who the date was with, but. Who was it?”  


“Hipster trash Caulfield,” Victoria stated and Taylor laughed.  


“You can’t keep calling her that if you’re dating.”  


“We went out once and you’re already saying we’re dating.”  


“Once? Vic, please. You to spent the entire Christmas break together and you’ve only “gone out once”? Hah, sure, that’s believable.”  


“That’s not- Ugh, fuck off, Tay.” The blonde rolled her eyes, but she couldn’t stop a small smile from reaching her lips.  


“Seriously, though, babe. Are you? You know, dating? Is it official? Should I find what to wear to the wedding?”  


“Is that you being serious?” Victoria laughed. “Anyways, yes we are seriously dating, but I wouldn’t be too fast to buy a dress yet. I mean, we legit just talked about being… official. Ugh, I hate that term.”  


Taylor’s entire face lit up as a grin made its way to her lips, soon growing to a full-blown smile. “That’s so great!” she exclaimed maybe a little bit too loud as she rushed to give her best friend a hug. “Fucking finally too!” she laughed. “You two have been dancing around this for months, it was getting so annoying.”  


“Well, excuse me that my love life inconvenienced you, Taylor, it won’t happen again,” she said sarcastically as she pushed herself away from her friend. “You can keep it between us, right? For now at least.”  


“Babe. Don’t offend me. Despite the number of rumors I’ve started in my high school career, I know how to keep a secret when it matters. Especially one of yours.”  


“I know, I know, just making sure,” Victoria laughed.  


“You seem different,” Taylor said softly after a second, her eyes closely looking at the other girl’s features.  


Victoria squinted. “How so?”

  
“I don’t know,” she raised her shoulders. “Like… Lighter. Happier.”

  
“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I kinda feel like this too. It’s- it’s nice.” Nice was an understatement for what Victoria was feeling, even after she had to stop herself from getting too excited about everything.

* * *

Their first kiss as official girlfriends was nothing like the kisses they had shared until then. Where the previous ones had been rough and desperate, this one was soft and tender. Cute even. It was Victoria who had made the first move, the night after their little talk at the train station as they were coming back from a coffee date. They were standing at the bus stop, probably the least romantic place for a kiss to happen, and yet everything just seemed to click into place. The way the light fell on their faces, the slight breeze that made Max curl in on herself slightly and press her body against Victoria’s, the lack of people and commotion around them… It was then that Victoria raised her hand slowly and ran her thumb over Max’ lips. She felt more than heard the shorter girl gasp ever-so-slightly and she knew she was on the right path.  


“Your lips are cold,” she said softly, her eyes never leaving Max’.  


“They are?” Max’s fingers touched her lips at the same spot Victoria’s thumb had just been. “It _is_ pretty chilly...” she said huskily as she looked up, her eyes darkening slightly.  


The blonde’s hand rested against Max’ cheek then while her other hand found its place on her waist. “Let me just check again,” she mumbled and slowly, almost painfully so, leaned in, bringing their lips together. She pulled back a couple of seconds later, her thumb returning to touch the side of Max’ lips. “They’re not anymore…” It was cheesy and, at any other moment, it would make both of them groan and roll their eyes, but at that moment it was perfect. It may not have been the first time they had kissed, but it certainly felt like it. And they both wished it wasn’t going to be the last, not for a long time.

* * *

“Ask me something.” They were having a lazy Sunday. Max messing around on her laptop while Victoria was laying in bed, a joint between her fingers and smoke coming out of her mouth. She had promised to stop, but she hadn’t reached that point yet. It was far too relaxing for her to quit.  


“Huh?” came Max’ voice from across the room.  


“Ask me something,” Victoria repeated sitting up slightly. Max turned around in her chair to look at her girlfriend. She smiled as she got up and made her way to the bed, nodding for Victoria to move away so she could lie down next to her.  


“Okay… What are you afraid of?” Max asked while getting comfortable on the bed and turning to her side to face the blonde. They had played this game before. They would take turns asking questions to one another for however long they felt like. Or until someone hit a nerve; that always put a sour end to it. The only rule was that the one answering had to always be honest.   


“Being forgotten,” came Victoria’s reply a second later, and it was obvious to Max that the girl had thought about this before.  


“Oh wow, that’s deep. Now I feel bad about my fear of spiders,” the brunette chuckled.  


Victoria laughed, “it’s a valid fear, worry not little Maxine. I’m not gonna judge your fear of small insects.” She patted Max’ head softly, causing the girl to groan. “Okay, my turn. What superpower would you want to have? I’m partial to invisibility or time manipulation, myself.” Max paled.  


“I don’t do superpowers…” she whispered hoarsely and sat up.  


Victoria blinked in confusion as she raised her upper body and supported herself on her elbows. “Not even time manip? You’re always late, god knows you need it,” she joked not knowing the full effect of her words.  


“Especially not that.” There were tears welling up in Max’ eyes, a signal that something was really wrong. “Never that,” she mumbled trying to will herself not to break down right then and there.  


“Hey… Hey, come on, what is it? You can tell me, babe.” She felt Victoria’s fingers brush a strand of hair away from her face and behind her ear.   


“It’s…” Max swallowed thickly before continuing. “It’s a story for another time…” she settled. “A time with a lot of alcohol involved, actually…” she added quietly. Victoria had no idea what was going on, but she knew that she had struck a pretty big nerve. Their game had never ended this fast before.

* * *

“We should… Shit- We should stop…” Max’ voice trailed off, her voice aroused and her tone not in the least bit convincing.   


Victoria pulled herself away from Max, her pupils dilated and her breathing heavy. “Right.” She ran a hand through her hair and tried to get a hold of herself. “I got carried away, I’m sorry.”  


“No, don’t apologize.” Max let her fingers travel softly up and down the blonde girl’s arm. “I’m the one who should be doing so, actually…”  


Victoria’s eyes snapped abruptly towards Max, her gaze intense. “ _Never_ . Never apologize for this, Max. Never apologize for not being ready. We have all the time in the world, no one’s chasing us. We don’t have to do anything we don’t want to,” she leaned in and placed a tender kiss on Max’ lips. She smiled a sweet smile as she pulled back; one of those smiles that she reserved just for Max, as the brunette had come to understand.  


“I really do like you, you know,” Max murmured, leaning forward again and making Victoria chuckle into the kiss.  


“Gee, thanks. I really appreciate it. I think we may have a problem if you didn’t actually like me,” she laughed. “For what it’s worth and as much as it pains me to say it, I really do like you too.”  


“Fuck off, Victoria,” Max laughed as she lightly pushed the taller girl away from her. “So… Movie? We can watch that anime OVA you wanted to.”   


“Is this because you left me hanging like five minutes ago?”   


Max blushed. “No.”  


“It so is! I’m taking advantage of this, just so you know,” Victoria’s eyes lit up as she laughed. “And yes, anime OVA it is. Oh, I’m so ready for you to try and make it up to me by doing me all kinds of favors.”  


“I might just have sex with you right now if that’s the alternative.”  


“You won’t do that,” her tone was serious. “You will, however, go downstairs and buy us junk to eat while I put on the movie.” She threw Max’ t-shirt at her and moved to put her own back on. “If there isn’t at least one thing with chocolate on it, you won’t be let back in the room.”  


“This is my room, Victoria!” Max protested as she was pushed out the door. “You can’t just- You can’t just claim it!”  


“Too late for that, Maxine. What yours is mine!” She slammed the door at her girlfriend’s face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still contemplating on whether or not I should just bite the bullet and write smut tbh. I've written my fair share of smut in my young life so it's not like I'm completely new to it, but I haven't been practicing in a while so... it could get awkward xD


End file.
